Brendan Burke ESPN story 12/2/09

<p>Updated: December 2, 2009, 6:42 PM ET
'We love you, this won't change a thing'
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By John Buccigross
ESPN.com
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"I hope the day comes, and soon, when this is not a story." -- Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke</p>

<p>Imagine this.</p>

<p>Well before you are born, your dad plays college hockey at Providence College and wears the "C" for Friars coach and Hockey Hall of Famer Lou Lamoriello. Your dad is then a member of the Calder Cup-winning Maine Mariners AHL team. He admits to having little skill, but contributes rough and tough qualities. You know, like pugnacity, testosterone, truculence and belligerence. He's a man, baby.</p>

<p>Dad is also driven. And smart. He quickly retires from pro hockey. He knows he will make the NHL only with his brain and mental brawn. He earns a law degree from Harvard in 1981, then practices law in Boston for the next six years, representing professional hockey players before joining the Vancouver Canucks in 1987 as vice president and director of hockey operations. He has made the NHL. You are born a year later in Vancouver, British Columbia, in December 1988.</p>

<p>Dad is GM of the Hartford Whalers for a season as a 37-year-old before joining the NHL front office as senior vice president and director of hockey operations under commissioner Gary Bettman in September 1993, staying until 1998. Dad and Mom divorce in 1995, and, as a 9-year old, you move to Boston with Mom in 1997.</p>

<p>Dad then begins a six-year stint on the other side of the continent as president and general manager of the Vancouver Canucks. Meanwhile, you play hockey while growing up in the Boston area, and you are a goalie. You love Dominik Hasek and still believe he is the best of all time. Dad tries to see you play whenever he can. Goalie is a comfortable position for you on the ice, looking out and hiding behind a mask.</p>

<p>You eventually attend Xaverian Brothers High School, a prep school in Westwood, Mass., and make the competitive varsity hockey team as a senior, but choose not to play. You say it is because you don't think you would get enough playing time and you are upset at the coach. But you actually don't play because you don't think you can go another season without someone finding out your secret.</p>

<p>Your hockey career is over.</p>

<p>"Middle school and early high school is the first time I remember thinking that I could be gay, but I definitely tried to ignore it and didn't want to seriously consider it. It's pretty easy to try and convince yourself that it's not true, but it won't work, ever." -- Brendan Burke</p>

<p>The Burke Family
Brendan Burke, standing by the Stanley Cup, after his father won it all with the Anaheim Ducks in 2007.
You go on to attend Miami University in Oxford, Ohio, after your guidance counselor recommends the school. Miami is well known for being academically challenging and having one of the more visually idyllic campuses in the country. It doesn't disappoint. The brick buildings and brand-new hockey rink make the small town feel like what college should feel like. Like an old Hollywood movie set. Ohio is a friendly place with warm people who smile a lot and like to get together in groups and laugh. You fit right in. You've made a great decision.</p>

<p>You especially enjoy the Miami hockey program constructed by coach Enrico Blasi. You are involved as a student manager. Blasi demands his program and its culture be grounded in family. He calls it the Miami hockey brotherhood. The mission is to be the best one can be every day with a vision to become a champion in everything one does, on and off the ice. Miami's focus is on three things: relationships, daily behaviors and accountability. You watch and break down the pre-scout videos. You also keep most of the goalie statistics and prepare all the best clips for highlight videos.</p>

<p>While you're at Miami, Dad is now in Southern California as executive vice president and general manager for Anaheim and the Ducks win it all in 2007. You drink out of the Stanley Cup with Pops in the Anaheim dressing room. You love your father, you're proud of him, but you are hiding something from him that you will soon hide no more.</p>

<p>In 2008, Dad is chosen as general manager of the 2010 U.S. Olympic hockey team and named a recipient of the 2008 Lester Patrick Trophy for outstanding service to hockey in the United States. His r</p>

<p>The Fabulous Forum
THE WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN,
WHY — AND WHY NOT — OF L.A. SPORTS
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<p>Brendan Burke, son of Brian Burke, dies in a car crash
February 5, 2010 | 11:12 pm
It’s impossible to know where to begin with this.</p>

<p>To say Brendan Burke was far, far too young at 21 when he died as the result of injuries he suffered in a car crash in Wayne County, Ind., on Friday?</p>

<p>That he had a passion for hockey he inherited from his father, Brian, the former general manager of the Ducks and current GM of the Toronto Maple Leafs, but he made that passion his own as the student manager of the hockey team at Miami of Ohio?</p>

<p>That he had the manners and smarts to have made a heck of a hockey executive, which he had dreamed of becoming?</p>

<p>It’s impossible to sum up the life of this charming young man who inspired discussions about homosexuality in sports a few short months ago when he talked to ESPN’s John Buccigross about being a gay man in a macho sport.</p>

<p>People in hockey who know Brian Burke and knew Brendan had similar reactions to his death. Sick to my stomach. Just sick. Very upsetting. So sad.</p>

<p>Brian Burke is the general manager of the U.S. men’s hockey team for the Vancouver Olympics, and he had planned to march in the opening ceremony next Friday. It’s too early to think about whether Brendan’s death will impact Brian’s participation in the upcoming Games, but you have to think that because it’s hockey-related and so much of Brendan’s life revolved around the sport, Brendan would have wanted him to be there.</p>

<p>The Burke family—his father, mother, stepmother and five siblings—lost a son, a brother, a friend. The hockey world lost a shining spirit.</p>

<p>– Helene Elliott</p>

<p>More in: Helene Elliott, Hockey
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<p>From the Miami Student Newspaper</p>

<p>Home > OpEd Page
Burke’s legacy continues to inspire
Nicholas Petit</p>

<p>Issue date: 2/9/10 Section: OpEd Page
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When I woke up this morning, I sat up in bed and peered out of my frosted window. </p>

<p>Everything was caked in snow. The pristine look made me blissfully unaware that anything tragic had happened the day before. Then the shrill electronic buzz and ringing of my cell phone brought me to reality. It was 10 a.m. and I was receiving a phone call from a friend in Denver. It was 7 a.m. in Denver … the thought that something had to be wrong passed through my mind. I answered to a saddened and shaky voice asking me how I was feeling after hearing the news about Brendan Burke. I was confused and had to have my friend explain to me what had happened. “Brendan died in a car accident yesterday,” she said, and my heart instantly sank in shock. The first thing that went through my mind was that I was never going to see him walking through campus or uptown and get one of his ecstatic salutations and his enormous hugs. I think that is what I will miss the most. The tragic accident is not only devastating to Brendan’s family, the Miami hockey team, the university community and his friends, but I think it is also a setback to the progress of gay culture. Brendan was a trail blazer. Stepping out of the closet at an early age, Brendan came out to a family and a father in a situation that I personally couldn’t comprehend. Brendan’s love and acceptance of his family made his coming out experience, which would be daunting to me, very easy and encouraging. Brendan was different; he had a sort of air that always emanated confidence, and he poured out kindness, empathy, concern and modesty. I’ve known Brendan for only a short snippet of both of our lives; we were introduced by mutual friends around this time last year. I remember a time we had coffee in Starbucks, and he had asked me about my coming out story. Brendan was calm and gave me the confidence not only to tell my story to him, but also to do it in a public setting in front of complete strangers. The example of Brendan and his family’s love and understanding is very encouraging to the progress that the lifestyle of homosexuality is making. Brendan had many goals for himself, for his career, and for bridging the gap between his sexuality and the rest of the world. Brendan could achieve anything. He set an example that exuded success and happiness to all those around him. Brendan’s tragic death will hopefully leave a legacy that equality is attainable even in the most unimaginable places. Brendan, you will truly be missed by myself, as well as many others. May your legacy continue to equalize the playing field, whether it is in hockey, professional sports, the job market, the debate on marriage and any other possible realm. Thank you for living by example. </p>

<p>With Hope and Sorrow,</p>

<p>NICHOLAS PETIT
<a href=“mailto:PETTITNE@MUOHIO.EDU”>PETTITNE@MUOHIO.EDU</a></p>