^And its attitudes like that which show a lack of empathy for bright , shy Aspies, or other kids with “invisible” disabilities/ learning differences.
Shouldn’t they be able to expect understanding and tolerance from fellow students who are also smart enough to get into college? Or are neuro typical students the only ones entitled to have behavioral “expectations” of their fellow roommates?
Again, we are not talking about shyness or introversion. Plenty of shy and/or introverted people are perfectly fine roommates.
I know we are not talking about neurotypical students who happen to be shy or introverts.
The discussion is about Aspies who are bright enough to get into Ivy level colleges. What should they be able to expect from fellow college students?
And how is this different from students who complain or dont like having students of a different race or different country or background or who are gay as roommates or classmates?
Aspies can’t change their “spots” or behavior any easier than other students who are also different from what some college students may be used to .
College is a good place for young adults to learn to accept that there are lots of different types of people in the world.
Dear all. I am sorry for creating this debate. I just hoped this topic could be helpful to other parents like me. There this paper about Parental Stress (search for Parental Stress, Autism research institute). The three major factors were:
“(a) concern over the permanency of the condition;
(b) poor acceptance of autistic behaviors by society and, often, by other family members; and
© the very low levels of social support received by parents"
In special © is something very stressful for parents of autism parents. Many may not say, but this is a path that requires a lot of strength and the search for the most appropriate information is so difficult. Many times we are not sure whether we are doing the best for our children, but we still need to use our gut feelings in this lonely state I taught my DD to be always grateful for every small kindness – even if she needs to say it mechanically. I was very grateful for the assistance provided by many members to my DD, so I wished to explain what worked and how it worked. I apologize for the confusion.
You’re good, PDad. When the time comes, let us know how she chooses.
The rest of this, among posters, is OT.
PentaDad, No need to apologize.
regarding the permanency of the condition, you may be interested in reading what this well known Aspie / Autistic dad experienced when he agreed to an experimental treatment.
IF my Aspie son, who is at Caltech getting his PhD, does a postdoc at Harvard as he hopes , I might show him this article.
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/03/18/an-experimental-autism-treatment-cost-me-my-marriage/?emc=eta1
" to use our gut feelings in this lonely state I taught my DD to be always grateful for every small kindness – even if she needs to say it mechanically. "
You’re a smart man. I’m sorry for hurting anyone 's feelings. We all bleed when our kids bleed.
I think most college students are perfectly able to accept a roommate who is not neurotypical, but it does help if they know that’s what the issue is. Otherwise one tends to think that you did something wrong. I think that when I sent my kids off to school both the very normal one and the somewhat less neurotypical one, I think I probably should have talked more about what makes a good roommate.
As to the OP, glad there was a happy finish to the story!