@dogsmama1997, yes, the school coach will be part of the picture as well. We just happened to be working with the club coach (as well as on his highlights) over Christmas break. He’s fortunate to have great club and school resources for both his sports and just has a ton of work ahead of him. Put us in the crazy camp too.
DS is not likely to be recruited for sports…the one sport his coach even suggested he may be a candidate for was his spring sport in which he’d never even participated in prior to BS…so that is a very long time comin’ to even know if he will stand out.
@CTMom21 I guess you understand what I’m saying then, about the college side of this forum. I was just hoping for a…“here are the current dos, Dont’s and best ways of managing the college application process…” Ummm…I started drowning in the search. @-)
So one really easy idea is to visit a few different “types” of schools near you (or near his school – the point being that you won’t use precious days off.) Many even have weekend open houses. This could mean visiting a large public, a city school, a rural LAC – all to get a feel for the general parameters. (Near me, lots of kids will visit Rutgers – it’s a great intro to what a big public with a good honors college might be, for example. Some kids who like that might want smaller, warmer, etc. whereas others veer off in a different direction altogether.)
It is extremely difficult to do an OV without a parent unless you have been invited by the school (i.e., diversity program, recruited athlete), so don’t count on that! With that said, your son can definitely visit his friends when they are in school (including overnight ) preferably fall of senior year to circumvent that problem (although he’ll still need to get there.)
Get a Fiske guide. It’s a wonderful rabbit hole to go down at this point - for both you and your kid. You can Google college name common data set for more up to date stats on most schools. And yeah, having test scores will make it easier.
@buuzn03 My son is a 9th grader and I’m already starting the information gathering process. I’m a planner too and I jst want to be sure he is not at disadvantage due to poor scheduling/timing. He is very independent and by no means “needs” my help, but its one of the few things I can do to help anymore (other than pay his BS tuition).
I’ve started by just cruising the “College Admission” forum and peeking at a few specific school forums. I try to hit the ones that are marked important, like here on the prep forum. Between those threads and discussions with friends who’ve already gone through the college application/admission process, here are some items I’ve found useful specifically with regard to planning:
- SAT subject tests - take them as soon after completing the class as possible, because it can be a pain relearning the material as a junior. For example, my son will be done with Precalc and Physics as a freshman, so he will be taking them this summer. Also, some schools list them as recommended, but they really are pretty much required if your child is not coming from an economically disadvantaged situation.
- AP tests - lots of good discussion over there, like here. You and your child have to arrive at your own conclusion(s). If his/her school offers AP classes, they are likely going to need to take the tests. If not, you all will have to decide whether to take the tests anyway.
- Fine arts requirement - if your child may be considering any of the Univ of CA schools, don’t get side swiped by the fine arts requirement. It is very specific about one year of progression is a fine art. Lots of kids find this out too late.
- Language requirement - many/most schools want 3 years of a language and recommend 4. So even if your child tested into a high level of language at the start of BS, he/she better forget those dreams of stopping at Spanish 3 in their 10th grade year.
- SAT/ACT - my son has taken them for years as part of a talent search and was set to do so this year too. But all high school scores become fair game for schools that require ALL scores be sent (though elementary and middle school schools are erased from the system). It’s not clear if having those talent search scores would be a negative, but at least we found out ahead of the game and are making our own informed decision.
- ED,ED2,EA, and the alphabet soup of applications and decisions - I just hate hearing about all these terms and having no idea what folks are talking about. There is a great thread defining those terms on the College Admissions forum.
I’ve found other good tid bits so far too. I always listen to what this guy called skieurope says over there, and there are other great moderators too. I personally share very little of the college stuff with my son at this point, because I don’t want that on his radar beyond making sure he is clear on the courses he needs to take (like the fine arts and language). His job is to be a kid and enjoy BS. My job is to surf forums, drink wine and pay his bills (not necessarily in that order).
@CTMom21 thanks!!! That’s helpful! To put it in perspective, other than a satellite college and a Jr college, we are 6 hours from anything else…hence, travel is hard.
@Altras WOW…I’m impressed! I looked at some of those forums…tried to search a few things and was so overwhelmed I hightailed it out of there like a dog with his tail on fire! I did find the ED thread…it was very concise and informative.
Is it true that some schools will make you apply to a school within a school? When did this all become so complicated???
I know the BS CC will do much of everything for him…I am fully confident they are going to do a great job. I just want to know enough about the process so if something does go awry, I can realize it before it’s too late…and be able to speak same lingo with my kid and carry on an intelligent conversation about the subject. And then, if he needs some additional help…hopefully he will feel comfortable turning to me.
Thanks guys!!!
Oh boy, @Altras, now I am totally overwhelmed (and definitely completely unprepared). I will be looking to you and @gardenstategal for all of this incredible helpful information. Fortunately we are within a reasonable distance of tons of northeast schools and DS is pretty clear as to general size and location (urban/suburban/rural), but that’s about all he knows.
@buuzn03 I think the advice you got still holds. In a single trip to a major city, you can visit a large state school, a smaller urban campus, and a rural LAC. That should give you a sense of the size and type of location that might work best.
Also: Not everyone has the funds to visit every college they are considering or applying to. That is true of a very tiny portion of the college-going population and is one of the reasons interviews aren’t mandatory at most schools.
Other than planning to have our kid take the SAT / ACT this summer, we are trying to not focus on college planning at all until next year. That said, we’re not highly focused on where our child attends undergrad, but are instead hoping for a good fit so that our child can thrive in undergrad and later matriculate to a solid graduate program. I think our child has a similar view of the world, and has a developed a wish list of desirable characteristics for a college, but has made little to no effort to match those characteristics up with schools, as far as we know. We’ve been preaching the “don’t worry about college admissions” message for a while now, in part because we know our child doesn’t need a push, and are trying to not send mixed messages on that front.
The other thing that you can and should do early is understand what’s affordable for your family. My hunch is that most BS families have a pretty good handle on this already, but college costs are staggering and different schools approach this differently.
There are schools that offer merit aid, and for a FP family, this can make a private college education roughly $100,000 less expensive. Some schools promise to meet full need, yet there is variability in whether it is done with packages that include loans.
This site has a wealth of information on that and a couple of super knowledgeable posters. (Alas, I am not one of them!)
One theme that you’ll hear a lot is "don’t have a dream school ". If you frame your search not to find “the one”, but a group of schools that would be great, it will relieve a lot of stress. This doesn’t mean that there won’t be one that’s an ED choice, btw, but it’ll save you from catastrophizing if there’s no acceptance in the early round. Again, having gone through the BS process, this will feel a bit deja vu, but it is something as a parent that you can help with.
@gardenstategal You raise a good point. And your point leads me to this question: To what extent, if any, do BS counselors inform students about merit aid opportunities? I can imagine a whole range of possibilities here, ranging from leaving students and parents to their own devices, to identifying general resources / databases, to having a well-organized system for identifying opportunities based on the kinds merit aid former students have received.
Actually, the CC will advise and guide, your student with do most of the work, and you can be as involved as you want to be or not, up to you. It is absolutely possible to not lift a single finger and your child will still get into college (really!) or to be so involved you completely lose or abuse one of the primary benefits of BS. I think the best approach is to let your child and the school do what each does best with your input, but allow the school to expertly drive the bus.
Most schools will host College Information Weekends junior year so you can ask questions and understand their processes and what they require (and don’t) from you. You don’t have to wait until junior year to attend one of these, but it really isn’t necessary to start thinking about the college process too much until the school begins to engage the junior class. I think most schools also provide an intake form to get what they need from you. I posted Choate’s form the year we received it:
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/discussion/comment/20720476#Comment_20720476
In addition, our son’s GC held a session for the parents of her students to introduce herself, her background, her expectations of us and our students, and what we could expect from her throughout the process. She was transparent and blunt from start to finish and was readily available.
In general, though, the counselor will incorporate your input while helping your student craft an appropriate list of colleges to apply to. They will also have your child set up a Naviance account and profile to track each step of this process, and you will have access to Naviance as well with as many views as the schools feels appropriate for parents to have. Don’t be surprised if what you can see at your school differs from what other parents see at another school. The schools control the level of Naviance access available to parents mostly to avoid misinterpretation of data, but your child’s GC should be happy to answer any questions you have from your views with context from the richer data behind their curtain. (This topic comes up every year and there are plenty of Naviance threads to enjoy with your martinis.)
The College Info Weekend sessions will go over all the things everyone has brought up here, including SAT subject tests, AP exams, timelines, transcripts/LORs, financial aid, merit aid, applying to schools as an artist or athlete, etc. Choate also hosted a session with the director of admissions from a selective college where we were all given the profiles of three fictional candidates to that school and asked to give an “admit,” “reject,” or “waitlist” decision on each, and then the AO gave us a peek behind their curtain as to how they might evaluate these candidates. Very enlightening.
I would hope that by the time your student is a junior, the school has earned your trust, and you have confidence in their expertise in this area. They have been in this business a lot, lot longer than we have and will advise you on things you haven’t even thought of yet. The process is organized, personal, thorough and, crazy as it may seem to you now, the school will know your kid as a student better than you will by the time this process begins. Just as important, they know and have relationships with the colleges. They are uniquely qualified to help your student find their best college home. But don’t be surprised if the college list your child and GC eventually craft bears little resemblance to the one that may be shaping in your head right now. My advice is to let those lists go now while your mental fingers are still loose, relax, and let this process unfold in due course. It’s an exciting and potentially anxious time, but you can be certain that your child will land in an excellent place. All our CC kids do. Really. 
@CaliPops , @ChoatieMom covered it pretty well! Our school was very responsive to merit needs. They knew who had it, how it was given, and when you needed to apply to get the best shot at it.
They also ran special sessions for parents with folks – not school employees - who focused on FA and paying for school.
Mostly though, they managed the timing really well. There were annual sessions every October during Parents Weekend (and recorded and available to stream) that were open to parents of every grade but recommended for Junior parents on the current landscape and how the process worked at the school. Over winter break, there was an extensive parent questionnaire to be completed. In January, after the last senior apps were in, there was a big program, including a panel of 6 adcoms and the opportunity for parents and kids to act as adcoms, info on Naviance, best ways for parents to be involved (and not), etc. Kids were assigned their CC. In Feb, they do a big college fair for sophomores and juniors (and give guidance to the kids on how to make the most of it. )
I loved our CC. DS loved her more. He wanted us to be minimally involved and she made that possible. I did make up the list for spring break visits – based on a Fiske guide and conversations, he had come up with a few criteria – and my goal was to look at schools that were different within that. (i.e., Union and Bard in a day). Based on that trip, he was able, through his likes and dislikes, able to give the CC enough info that she could help him build out his list.
The fall meeting was a shock for me. I really had no idea what the college admissions world had become since my typewritten application days. But after that, we were in great hands and it all turned out great.
Thanks @ChoatieMom ! After talking to him briefly last night, it seems they are in the process of assigning his class to CCs now, after going through their ACT and PSAT results…He said he got an email to this effect, anyway. A few weeks ago he had mentioned something about National Merit Scholar? I have no idea what’s involved with that. I guess that’s another reason he’s brought up the subject a few times. Each time I’ve done the nod and smile 
I’m definitely not worried about him going to college…and I do not care if he goes Ivy (I kinda get the feeling he’s not even looking that direction). But there have been just a few brief conversations already where he mentioned things in passing and I’m like what the…???
When I applied to college, I did so without a counselor, in my room with a typewriter. I applied to 4 schools on their own application. They didn’t even care what my intended major was…and I didn’t have to apply to a school within the school. No early decision or early action. So, needless to say…I feel utterly lost when he brings any of this up…and knowing there are thousands of colleges out there, college visits and BS visits at the same time is adding to the overwhelmed feeling. My method of combatting that is research and preparation. I don’t need to get too involved in the nitty gritty of the process (remember, I’ll be doing DDs BS application process simultaneously…so he’ll be lucky with me showing up when I’m needed) but I do want to feel like I know what the process entails. And then for the things i am called on to do…I won’t be floundering around when they’re needed.
And if there are some places he is interested in seeing, I want to be able to do that before the actual visit/interview time and weed out places he just doesn’t want to be…because that’s going to be a crazy travel schedule with both in a short period of time.
I think I’ll temporarily change my user name to confuzzled…or maybe hotmess… =))
@gardenstategal I think we were typing at the same time! I am going to see if there’s a livestream of any similar talks on our school’s site…thanks for that! The possibility that would be available never crossed my mind…technology these days LOL.
What are the main ways college admissions has changed? (Aside from the fact that the common app makes it almost too easy for kids to apply to a crazy number of schools).
@gardenstategal Thanks, very informative. (And thanks @ChoatieMom for the thorough rundown.) Our kid’s school also has offered sessions concerning college counseling during parent’s weekend, and we purposefully avoided them. I know myself enough to know that if I start thinking about this now, it will be on my mind this year more than I would like.
Sometimes I laugh at my own college admissions process. I blew off the “optional” essay for the undergrad I attended because I figured my stats and activities were more than enough, and I applied early decision to a school–all I needed to do was check a box–without understanding what that meant. I’m pretty sure my child is far less clueless.
Let me also say that having gone through the BS process, you probably understand how much this is about a match to be made, not a prize to be won. (Our CC’s words, not mine.) It really frames the process differently.
And the CC has so much experience with kids, and gets to know yours, that they can facilitate that match-making. (They follow up with BS grads to stay current so also have an in as to which kids to steer away from which schools - i.e, party schools, competitive environments, etc)
I found it all very stressful, for sure, but was also really well supported.
That Is a very positive and on-point message, @gardenstategal — thank you! I have heard very good things about our college counselors and when i’m not hyperventilating, I try to be optimistic about the process.
My best friend’s college roommate left at the end of freshman first semester leaving my BF in a state of panic–university housing told her that either she find another roommate for second semester or they were going to move this horrid girl out of a triple down the hall and into her room. She begged me, so I dropped out of beauty school to fill that second-semester space but ended up staying to graduate because this gorgeous boy lived on her floor… Pretty sure it’s harder to get into Michigan these days. (And that gorgeous boy is putting up a new shelf in our pantry at the moment.) 
^^ Nice! Now that’s a story.