Drop off was Saturday and I want to share our experience . . all good thankfully. It was a beautiful day in the Berkshires. The welcome was warm and organized like clock-work. The proctors and houseparents (and their children and dogs) instantly made the dormitory feel like a home. Time was short (not like the college drop offs I was used to) and my DH likes posters to be straight. At 2:45, my son was wondering where the other boys were . . he was ready to leave us and went off with his roommate to a meeting. We could see he was itching to go. “I guess I won’t see you . . but there is facetime.” We left him with his school supplies and a bunch of other stuff piled up on his desk but clothes tucked away and bed de-bunked which was essential. On the drive out, my husband seemed sad. He has had much less contact with the kids over the years than I have . . except when they are home and so this represented a bigger change for him. Also as the one doing the applications and phone calls and paperwork, etc. I had a lot of time to prepare. He quickly re-grouped and told me how happy he was with the school, how it seemed perfect for him. We have received a few texts . . asking questions he quickly realized he could figure out himself but given the situation were funny to read. Mom, where is the health office? Mom, do you have a copy of the rules? Mom, do you know where my planner is? As he solved all of these “problems” on his own he was growing up before our eyes. I am ambivalent about the term “empty nester.” If my relationship with my own mother is any indication, my kids will be a part of my daily life at home or at school. To me, the pleasure is in knowing he is at a good place, given an opportunity to learn good values and personal responsibility within a community dedicated to that goal. While our home could provide a certain amount, I had not trusted the day schools or our community to do this for him and so if I ever do get kid-sick all I have to do is remember the reasons we chose boarding school. p.s. some small tips we picked up. A “bedside organizer” that hangs off the bed gives a convenient place to safely store stuff before sleep. New extension cords that come with USB ports are very handy.
So, just when we thought DS was turning the corner, he started exploding at both ends last night…heartbreaking for the parent to watch. He is supposed to do early check in for varsity sports tomorrow. Not sure what to do…he’s in no shape to work out–he actually lost so much potassium from vomiting, his legs were cramping. But, I know if his symptoms have cleared, he’ll want to at least meet/be with his team. Do I email the coach, or will that look like excuses as his first impression? And then, I’m supposed to just leave him—that was going to be hard enough if he was 100%. I know lack of sleep is compounding my negative thought process, so any sane suggestions would be appreciated!
@buuzn03 I know I’m a little late but I would call the coach and explain the situation. Can you stay an extra day, if necessary? I would not want to leave him so sick and by himself in a new environment. Even if the health center is wonderful, they aren’t mom and can only do so much. If he’s feeling up to it, meeting with the team, etc would be great but no way he will be ready to play. He needs to rebalance his system and regain his strength in order to perform well and not relapse. IMHO, if he can go to the meetings but stay with you at the hotel while he recovers, that would be ideal.
My sense from our school is that they much prefer a call to an email. This too will pass. Your staying cool in the face of his distress will help alot. Sounds like that is what you are doing.
Couldn’t agree more with you. Remembering this is about them not us.
Got a timex expedition shock on Amazon. He absolutely loves it. Has a vibration alarm (not strong enough) and indiglo so he can check the time at night . .
I dropped my son off on Saturday. Now it’s just me and the dogs at home. Sigh. This is hard. Good, but hard.
@buuzn03 So sorry to hear about your son! I hope he’s a little better now. Chiming in late but I’d suggest calling the health center, let them know what’s going on with your son and ask them for their advice and suggestions on how to handle it all - training, coach, dorm, etc. I’d also reach out to your son’s dorm head and/or advisor.
Hope he turns the corner quickly.
Thanks, everyone, for your thoughts & encouragement. I finally broke down & took DS to the ER. After 2 liters of IV fluids and potassium replacement, he’s feeling much better. He was in a vicious cycle of ketones causing vomiting causing dehydration causing ketones. I’ve notified his coach. Because of the lack of systemic symptoms, (and no one else sick despite sharing cars & hotel room) we do not think it was infectious but more food poisoning as the root cause. We will check in tomorrow and he’ll participate as tolerated. I feel much better seeing him now, after treatment.
@buuzn03, I’m so glad your son is doing better and got treated. That is a lousy way to start off BS, especially far from home, but I’m sure it’s not the first something like that has happened, and hopefully before long it will be a distant memory (and a good story).
We dropped DS off yesterday for preseason soccer. Since it was more upperclassmen (and only a handful of freshman soccer players), it was pretty quiet in his dorm and a pretty easy and painless process. There were orientation events for new parents, but we couldn’t stay since we had to pick up DS#2 at school, but I may go back next weekend for the “real” parents’ orientation day to do what we missed yesterday. I imagine that after a couple of practices yesterday and a 6 a.m. run this morning, DS is exhausted (understatement), but he texted last night and it sounds like everything’s fine. We realized how much harder this would be if we had any reservations about the school. I came home yesterday just extremely exhausted – I feel like it was the culmination of a 2+ year process – and I’m sure his being gone will set in gradually.
I hope all the other 2021 kids and parents are doing well!
Ok. DS has been dropped off. We had a full day of orientation, meetings with house parents, advisors, deans, registration, etc. Because of varsity practices, he was present for some portions of the day. The notable event was the buffet lunch where we were all together again after spending the morning apart. DD decided she wasn’t hungry. At first, I thought it was because of all of the chocolate chip and blueberry pancakes the hotel cooked to order for her that morning. Alas, no. Despite asking her several times if she thought she was feeling sick–she waited until everyone was starting to eat before she erupted all over the table in the middle of the dining hall. Yea, me. (Ends up, not the same stuff DS had) In any regard, the school was nice enough to let her stay in health services until our required meetings were completed. Then, our free time that was supposed to be reserved for last minute visiting with DS was spent at the closest Urgent Care (no way I was going to get on a plane today without arsenal). We did make it back to campus in time for a quick good-bye, which was surprisingly tear-free. I know it will come but there was something about his demeanor, aura the intangible “x” factor that just told all of us he was where he was meant to be. Y’all talk about it on this forum all of the time but I finally experienced it. He couldn’t be at a more perfect place for him–and it was overwhelmingly evident he was immediately “at home”.
The drop-off experience did not go as we expected or wanted. It was a five consecutive day Murphy’s law. But it made the last 3-4 years of research, interviews, essays, applications, travel etc completely worth it. He is in his element- in the perfect place for him. The minute we stepped on campus, his demeanor changed and you could instantly tell he was where he was supposed to be.
I’ll be back in a few days–when I pass by his room and break down due to realizing the hole he’s left at home. But I couldn’t be more proud, more elated or more confident this was the right path for him.
@buuzn03 Yikes. You have had a really rough few days there. I am so sorry. However, I am so glad your son found his place. That’s awesome. My son is in the right place too. He’s my only child, so the house is now really quiet. I go between being super happy for him and feeling like my heart is breaking in a million pieces.
I hope both your son and daughter are feeling better soon.
@PossiblePrepMom Thanks! It was tough but worth it. And I completely understand your emotions. I feel like “Cybil”. Lol. Hang in there! Parents’ Day will be here before you know it!!!
Here’s a first for me and I am giving myself a pat on the back. I dropped my son off 9 days and . . I have not called or emailed anyone at school to check on him in any way. I trust him and he seems to be very happy and remarkably self-sufficient. We are going Saturday although he has said we will have only a very brief window (maybe an hour) which is fine as we live close.
I’m just thankful for Instagram and text messages. It’s still hard to not have my DC here, but I can imagine it must have been much harder for parents back in the day.
@CaliPops AMEN to that! We’ve talked to DS on the phone and the last time we talked to him, I couldn’t gauge whether he was doing ok or not (teenage boy who is even more stoic and non-communicative than most). So we FaceTime’d yesterday and after seeing his face & mannerisms, all was right in my world again. So glad technology is what it is these days!
People have actually gotten phone calls? I’m jelly. We’ve had a few stray texts, but I guess that means things are going well.
He’s been gone a week and I got my first phone call yesterday. That was probably only because I set the expectation that he was to call at least once a week.
We have received a couple very short phone calls, but only because we requested them. Like @queenmother, we set expectations for a weekly call. I think it will be another week or more, however, before we can hope to establish a semi-regular time for that call. It was nice that, during orientation, the headmaster implored the students to set aside time to call their parents.
We have talked to DD almost daily. But, I think i am making her crazy with that lol. I have called to let her know I sent packages of things we forgot or to tell her we added money for a trip. She is really busy, St. Tim’s has a very full schedule compared to anything she was used to. So far, so good though. She seems happy, and seems like she is getting along with her roommate okay. I think her dad and I are struggling more than she is at this point.