Ucr sounds like his best choice, so I hope things went well for the weekend visit.
I’d go to Montana, visit UMontana and Carroll in one go. Both are much nicer than UNR (which I wouldn’t pick over UCR. Nevada legislature’s main concern clearly isn’t higher education or education in general.)
UMontana is a flagship - so, not ‘random’ for someone who wants that experience of a big D1 university.
I’d also vote for UCR for the traditional college experience. SFSU, for engineering could be limiting and SJSU is going to be a different college experience with a lot of impacted classes and the likelihood of an undecided major graduating on time could be tricky.
I also vote for visiting U of M.
Thanks for your replies and votes all. LOL Can we just put it to vote, and go with the highest vote getter? That would be much simpler. 
So we went to UCR yesterday. My son really liked it. I think he can see himself there. The academics seemed just right for him, and while very challenging for an undecided student to graduate in four years, it is doable, and there seems to be great advising to help with that. At 18,000 undergrad, UCR is smaller than all his other choices besides the Montana schools. I like that. I actually think the proximity to home will allow him to take the leap, because it’s not as much of a leap into the unknown. I might have to accept that about him. Despite all his claims to want to go to Uof A and CSU, and applying to some schools across the country, I think that has been more about familiarity (he’s heard of people who go there, and/or has been there, and/or knows people there). I think he probably just feels a need for a sense of safety that being closer to family and familiar friends will give him.
Sooooo, he wants to put in his housing deposit, but isn’t saying an absolute yes just yet. I’ll ask him again about Montana. Yesterday he was still adamant about not wanting to go to Montana, the state or the school, by extension.
So, don’t kill me, but I am concerned about cost. We haven’t heard from financial aid yet. I’m afraid UCR will offer no non-loan aid. UCR, with no scholarship, is over budget. But we could do it, and kid could work and take the $5500 loans. Of course that was how this whole conversation got started. The consensus was that Colorado State U was not worth debt and work-stress, but, well, I think the benefits of a UC education (even if it people think UCR is not as great as the others) might be worth going over budget. Being closer to home may help in that respect, as well, with move-in costs, travel costs (his and visiting parents), new winter clothes costs, and even in terms of jobs (can hold down jobs better if it’s possible to go home for part of spring break, and still work, etc.).
So, again, thank you all for your input. This stuff is hard…I imagine even for people who don’t make things harder than they need to be. 
And, so, the next question, how can I now manage to get trips to Colorado, Arizona, and NorCal if I don’t have the excuse to visit my kid at college?
Oh, one last comment…I forgot to mention one thing we did not like about UCR…while not really a commuter school, it seems it, to some extent, empties out on the weekends. I guess Riverside is within relatively easy driving distance from all of SoCal, so anyone from SoCal has the option to go home on weekends. That’s not great, but maybe it will be a school more focused on academics than social and party scene? That would be an upside. And if that turns out to be a huge bummer, transferring from a UC maybe won’t be too hard. Minimally, I imagine our boy could get in again to the schools he got accepted to now, and maybe would be more ready to go further away.
As a parent I completely understand your concerns. This is a huge, expensive and life altering decision. I really think that whatever school he goes to he needs to feel like HE wants to be there. If he chooses a school only because he feels that is where you want him to go and he ends up not liking the experience he may resent you in the long run. There is no guarantee his experience will mirror yours. I am a UCR alumni and my parents could not afford for me to live on campus so I had to commute. I can honestly say even without the dorm experience my UCR years were the BEST four years of my life. I did not miss living in the dorms one bit. I was active in a sorority, had an on campus job, and made plenty of friends. I hung out late and came home whenever. All my friends stayed on campus so I hung out at their places like they were my own. In other words I made the best of my situation and I don’t feel like I missed out on anything. My child will enroll at UCR this fall and although we only live 45 minutes away he will live in the dorms. He likes the option of being able to come home when he is in the mood. Some kids get home sick or have terrible roommate situations that just cloud their total experience. As long as he gets a good education and he comes out of this happy, and heathy, it’s a win win situation for everyone. Good luck in whatever college he attends.
You may want to ask UCR for the financial aid before deciding.
@ucbalumnus, yeah, for sure. On that. For some (lame) reason they needed a copy of his birth certificate. Sent it two weeks ago.
UCR with federal loans sounds doable.
What about that Montana visit?
Re: the work thing. Had you discussed summer jobs prior to this and he balked? Was it never a discussion for him to work summers and save some $ for college? My first thought was to split the difference with him ($1750 each) which he could easily make over a summer but if he has opposed any type of work up to this time, I wouldn’t do it and I’d give him that reason alone…he can’t be trusted to pay his share. Are you discussing working while at school so he is at least responsible for his own spending while away? Books? Travel?
Calgon, take me away!
So, here’s where we’re at, and I hope some of you still have the patience to chime in: our son is wanting UC Riverside. He feels like the UC name (even if a lower tier one) is a benefit, and he really liked the campus, and saw himself there. Yesterday, though, we “made” him visit Cal Poly Pomona. He liked it “ok” but was not moved in any way. My husband is impressed with their “hands-on” educational philosophy. Seems a Cal Poly and a UC are very different in terms of learning for learning’s sake and career preparation, not that a UC can’t also prepare a student for meaningful work, of course. Cal Poly Pomona has an abysmal 4 year graduation rate, and is way more of a commuter school, but does seem to have much better class sizes. Our guide on the tour said the stuff about grad rates is not accurate, in that if a student wants to graduate on time, and does what he needs to do, he totally can. He said of all the people he knows, 90-something percent graduate in four years. Sounds like there are hacks to make that happen. Of course is my kid one of the ones who will do everything right? He thinks he would be, but I’m not convinced; he’s scattered, and disorganized. (A downside of ADHD.)
So, now we are back to the original question (but with different schools): Do we allow our son to take out loans (just the $5500) in order to attend UCR, or do we push for SJSU or Cal Poly Pomona. (Do not have the financial aid award from UCR yet, but don’t expect any aid.) There are many factors like fit, impacted majors, and perceived reputation in the workforce post grad., and of course many more. And there’s always the possibility of CC, which we could push, and can make work, but we are ready for him to go and do that maturing that often takes place at colleg, and he says he does not want to do CC.
Reminders:
-undecided, enjoys math and physical sciences…may do math, chem., physics, engineering, or may head toward business accounting, finance
-homeschooled until high school (realized I never mentioned this before)
-open to grad school if indicated
-smart, good student, but balanced in liking lots of social and recreational (all-cif football player on champion team)
-seems more comfortable staying a little closer to home
-budget 25K per year (we have more but need to save for retirement after many leaner years building a business)
Thank you for ANY thoughts you might share. (And I hope all of your efforts are also helping lurkers similarly struggling. I know lots of kids get into the same grouping of schools, and have the same decisions.)
Oh, and another addition: the kid just got a job yesterday. He really wanted one immediately so he can go to Stage Coach in 10 days. (Just came back from Coachella and caught festival fever. That was our gift to him for his 18th birthday, Christmas and maybe even graduation.) On his way to the job place, he got a ticket for driving in the carpool lane. He just wasn’t thinking. (I believe him; it’s what he does. 
) So, now he’s got to earn $500. quick to pay for that ticket, on top of the money needed for Stage Coach. Oh, yeah, and saving for college. Yeah, this is the kid I have. But he is a straight A student 3 out of his four years in high school on top of 20 plus hours per week in football. Oy vey.
Remind him that he must plan his first few terms carefully so that he is not behind on any of the majors he might choose. Also, take a look at which of his possible majors at each campus are selective admission; if his possible majors are all non-selective or only minimally selective at a given campus, that is a point in its favor.
Yes, we talked about that issue with the business folks at UCR. Seems he would do better to head toward the math and science, and make sure he’s getting those pre-req’s, and those classes would likely be fine for core in business…and like, for example, regular calculus would work for business, but calculus for business would not work for physics. I’m on it! LOL And I’m slowly passing the torch to the boy.
Yes, we have some more work to do in understanding the impaction of the different majors…we know some, but not all we need to know.
What do you think of UCR with debt versus Cal Sate without (if it were to work out that way, given impaction, etc.)?
For math, physics, and chemistry, he may want to check the offerings available at each school and consider his post-graduation goals. Some CSUs’ offerings appear to be more heavily oriented toward future high school teachers in those subjects (math and physics seem to be among the more high demand subjects for that; chemistry less so). UCR is more likely to emphasize pre-PhD preparation.
For engineering and business majors, the concern with majors being impacted or selective is greater, and needs to be checked on each campus.
I thought UCR was within budget. How much over will it be, assuming no aid? How much less are SJSU and CPP?
If he wants to go to UCR and is willing to work + take on federal loans (not more), I’d let him choose and go to UCR. It’s his life and if he feels better there, it’s within budget (with stafford loans he’s take).
Just a comment about Cal Poly Pomona and the graduation rate. CPP has a 4 year pledge that will get him out in 4 years if he abides by the requirements: https://www.cpp.edu/~academic-programs/graduation-pledge/4yr_Graduation_Pledge.shtml
SJSU has a similar program: http://www.sjsu.edu/californiapromise/ . So do many other CSUs: http://www.calstate.edu/sas/california-promise.shtml
However, one of the eligibility requirements is remaining in one’s admitted major. An undeclared / undecided student may have difficulty meeting such a requirement. Contact the school directly to find out if there is any provision for an undeclared student to get into or stay in the program (if so, it may require an early enough declaration of major having completed suitable course work for that major).
@Dunboyne, UCR is about 6-ish grand more per year than the CSU’s.
i haven’t read the whole thread so, forgive me if this was already discussed but, having him pay the amount that UCR is over your budget is a really reasonable approach. Don’t let him borrow the money though - it is an easy out for which he doesn’t understand the consequences and I guarantee he will regret later. Besides. there are so many breaks in the school year that a motivated kid can easily earn the $6k you are trying to cover. If you are offering to pay for CPP, etc, you are already being very generous. If he doesn’t want to work to earn the money, he doesn’t really want to UCR.