<p>Ok, not so much a fight as a major disagreement. Son accepted to two state schools. Intended program between the two is a wash after much comparison. Son as definate desire to attend the one with less scholarship. Four year projection shows an additional 20k out of pocket that will be on top of 20k that was anticpated. Spouse doesn't want to dissapoint after 1st choice proved to be impossible to fund. Financial situation is such that this will all have to be funded by loans which parents will help with monthly while child is at school, but it is tenuous in my opinion. Greatest fear is that this will all fall apart and we will have to yank the child out of college due to lack of funds. The less $$ college is a big fat scholarship that covers 60% of total cost and is very predictable. If I lost my job or anything severe like that fin aid would create a full ride out of the package (interesting thought - maybe I should quit). Did I mention we're divorced?</p>
<p>The spouse has been bashing the less $$ school for months now and dismissed the large scholarship with a laugh "so what, it's THAT school". It's a fine university with some programs rated among the top in the nation, although not those my child will pursue. The point being it is not a slouch of a school. </p>
<p>So here's your chance to play Dr. Phil. I will be running the numbers one more time tonight and this weekend we send in the paperwork. IF I determine that it will be irresponsible as a family (yes, we try to still operate like one) to risk the higher $$$ school, how do I turn this around without my child feeling deflated and unexcited about going to college. Great kid, good stats, hard work, never in trouble, and I want to reward him for this, but......</p>
<p>In retrospect I should have been the big bad bear and announce last fall that any great disparity in money and the lowest wins. I have family and friends who have done this and their children have never looked back once. sigh</p>
<p>20k in loans is not unreasonable for the student (not the parents) to carry. Have him go to [FinAid</a>! Financial Aid, College Scholarships and Student Loans](<a href=“http://www.finaid.org%5DFinAid”>http://www.finaid.org), check on the loan calculator, plug in the numbers himself (over 10 years), and see if he feels comfortable carrying it.</p>
<p>This may be a much easier situation to adjudicate than you think.</p>
<p>Mini - right, that is what I need to asses. Parents will have to pay off 20k of the total 40k. Another child starts high school in 2 years so I have to throw that into the mix when I run this again. On the bright side, the 40k scenario assumes no work on childs part during college and zero aid for the last three years. Considering childs credentials it is likely upper class scholarships and decent paid internship could happen, however it is my contention that worse or close to worse case is the measure.</p>
<p>So, assuming he gets no workstudy or internships or even summer jobs, $20k at 8.2% interest, 1% origination fee, comes to $247.25 per month for 10 years. At that amount, paying only 10% of his income to pay it off, he’d have to average around $29k/year in income; at 15%, $19k/year in income. This (to my way of thinking) is easily doable for him. But let him make that judgment.</p>
<p>How you pay for your $20k portion is your concern.</p>
<p>I agree with mini: $20K in college loans is not an unreasonable amount for any student to take on. Far be it from me to get mixed up in your family’s finances or in the tit-for-tat with your ex, but playing Dr. Phil here, this sounds to me less like a real financial problem and more like a continuation of a running battle leading up to and continuing through the divorce. In fairness to your child, I think you need to bracket that fight and look at the hard financial realities in light of probabilities, not “worst-case” thinking. If we all went on worst-case scenarios, none of us would ever invest a dime in our children’s educations; after all, we could all drop dead tomorrow, even our kids, so what’s the point? But worst cases are not probable, and if you do run into unforeseen difficulties, plans can be adjusted. It seems to me entirely reasonable to expect your kid to bring in something from term-time earnings, either on-campus or off. If your kid is getting some aid in year one and is a hard worker and a good student, it seems reasonable to anticipate some aid in years 2-4. A second child in college should reduce your EFC and produce more need-based aid. And even if, after all that, your child still needs to borrow $20K by the time s/he is finished with college, I think s/he will be in pretty good financial shape going forward, certainly not starting out with an insurmountable burden.</p>
<p>Good stuff - much appreciated. I’m trying so hard to be pragmatic about this, but I think one thing I just realized is that I’m so darn proud of him earning the larger merit scholarship that it’s hard to walk away from it. Of course, that’s not what the decision is about.
Thanks again!</p>