I had it all planned out ever since I was a kid: I’m going to get good grades, go to a great uni, become a doctor. I’ve had this mentality ever since I was around grade 1. Sure, there have been times where my mind wandered but it always came back to being a doctor.
So I had it pretty good and sorted all up until recently. I’ve felt so…off lately. I don’t have the same vitality or enthusiasm towards learning as I had had in the previous years. I don’t care about grades as much I did, but that is not to say that I still don’t force myself to try my hardest. I’m sure I can pull off another year until I graduate highschool but the thought of doing exams and tests and pulling all nighters for something I am only vaguely interested in for another few years? I honestly don’t know.
However, that isn’t the only problem I have. The enthusiasm and interest I had for becoming a doctor down the road has also vanished. What will I do instead? Well It was a humanitarian/aid relief of some sort but as I have told many of my friends and family, I have received only one reaction: laughter.
“How will you support yourself? Don’t come crying to us for help when your mission to save the third world country collapses!”
“Why would you do that? You’ve worked so hard to get to where you are, and you’ve used up so much of your parents money to cover your EC’s and education and you’re just going to throw it all away for some impulsive, egoistical self-fulfilment?”
“You’re really going to just throw that all away, huh. Well we all knew that under that GPA there was no common sense”
It has planted a seed of doubt in my head because how will I support myself? Yeah sure, ‘do what you love and you never have to work a day in your life’ and then what? I’m doing what I love in my parents basement? It doesn’t sound bad to me right now but what if I regret following my temporary dreams at the expense of my future? In fact, when my parents brought this very subject up, I told them that I didn’t care really and they told me I’m looking through rose-coloured glasses and I won’t have them when I’m 30 and still in their basement/one bedroom apartment with some rando I found on craigslist and a job that sounded great in highschool but have grown to loathe.
So what should I do? Should I just throw in my application for something science related(something I’m not particularly interested in but would not kill me) and hope this is just a bout of teenage angst that will pass? Or should I try for an internship at some place related to humanitarian aid?
You can major in business and work for a NGO. You can major in Public Health and work for the WHO or CDC. You can major in international studies and work as an coordinator for humanitarian groups. You can get a law degree and work as a human rights lawyer. There are so many paths out there that can lead you to where you want to go. It’s not the degree you get; it’s what you do with the degree.
Sounds like you are frustrated right now. But know that you can make a living and do good work as a doctor. My cousin is a pediatrician who works full-time at a hospital – he also volunteers at a clinic regularly and has gone on multiple short tours with with doctors without borders. And the same is true in many other professions as well (ex. CPAs can help underprivileged with tax returns or volunteer with small non-profits to keep their books, many large law firms often do some pro-bono (free/donated) work etc.). You don’t always have to choose between supporting yourself and helping people – oftentimes a mix of the two works quite well.
@happy1 yeah I a am bit annoyed as something I’ve always been fascinated with has just…turned off? my counsellor thinks it’s because I’m intimidated by the extra years of school and to be quite honest I think I may be. I hate being wishy-washy and the thought of me dropping out 7 years in out of 14 that is required to become an ER is not…cute. Right now, however, I don’t even know if I’ll get through 6 months if I get in.
If you were my child, I’d recommend continuing to push through and doing the best you can do through the remainder of your high school years, with the goal of keeping as many doors and options available to you as possible.
I’d also tell you that as a high school junior, you definitely don’t have to have your life figured out right now, not even your college plans! Just keep those doors open by continuing to excel.
I’d also suggest attending a college which has a good track record of placing its graduates in medical school but where you can also dabble by taking classes in a variety of academic fields. Keep your options open. You might decide to pursue your lifelong dream of being a doctor or you might choose another path. No need to decide now. Liberal arts colleges are very good at providing this type of academic environment.
Lastly, I’d suggest to you that you consider taking a gap year between high school and college, to explore the world a little and to ward off burnout. Most top colleges allow you to apply during your senior year in HS but, upon acceptance, defer enrollment for 1 year at your top choice. Both my children did this and it was a wonderful and life changing experience. Despite what many think, gap years don’t have to be expensive at all.
So, keep those options open but don’t put pressure on yourself thinking you need to have it all figured out at this stage of the game.
There are a lot of options between your extremes of being a doctor or living in your parents’ basement at age 30; I think you’re making this too dramatic. Many students, especially at LACs, take advantage of college as a time to try new experiences, learn, grow, and discover what they are interested in and good at. You don’t have to go into college with your career figured out. In fact if you do it may be counterproductive. It is your choice to be in this mental jail or not. Best wishes.
There are so many great jobs out that there you’ve probably never even considered - may never have even heard of. Humanitarian relief is just one small corner of an entire spectrum of jobs involving economic development. Spouse spent his entire career in development economics and so have many of our friends. It’s a fascinating global community, highly trained, well-traveled and passionate about what they do and yes, they live middle class lives as they do it - so your family and friends are just uninformed. Examples of jobs? Water project specialist. Arabic banking and finance expert. Environmental specialist with expertise in central Asia and Africa related to public/private partnerships. Global sanitation project oversight. Specialist in women’s access to capital markets, education and healthcare. And that’s just our immediate social circle.
What kind of training do you need? There are so many ways to come at this that the best answer is - in whatever way you are most passionate about. Just make sure that your early years involve getting the most solid technical background you can in whatever you care about. Policy is fine but no one hires a policy specialist with a BA. Get the hard technical skills under your belt during college - in science, in finance, in engineering, in quantitative analysis of any kind - whatever you like and do best. Learn to write well. If some part of the world captures your interest, learn the language(s), history and culture. Study abroad in that part of the world. You can get a masters or Phd on the policy aspects of whatever you care about once you have a better sense of direction.
Or not…like I said, there are so many jobs out there that you haven’t even heard of. Don’t panic at 17 just because your life’s work hasn’t presented itself yet.
I might also suggest that you seek out some counseling to help you sort through your feelings and hopes for the future. Sometimes talking things out with a third party can be very helpful.
You take a gap year after graduation, doing humanitarian aid and so forth. I don’t think planning to make that your “career” makes sense at this point. (and you don’t need a college degree to do so)
You do sound like you need time to regroup and figure things out. Maybe some career exploration for some ideas on what to major in if you go to college right after highschool? And even if you don’t.
To be honest, I think you are going through a normal transition from a kind of thinking that is common in childhood (trying to do well to please parents and teachers, wanting to be a doctor, wanting to save the world) to a more mature way of being. This transition is always painful and your former motivations, which were extrinsic, may feel empty while you are building new ones that are more internal- which takes time, years even. You may also feel burned out from working toward goals that no longer really fit.
You don’t have to worry about career right now, in such a specific way. You do not have to plan your life out: overplanning can even interfere with opportunities. You can take a gap year, sure, but you can also apply to schools that you like, according to size, location, academics, extracurriculars and “vibe”, and explore your interests once there. In fact, humanities, arts and music majors go to medical school too, so you can major in anything that interests you and decide later about that.
While you are at college, try to volunteer or intern if you possibly can. These activities don’t have to relate to your major necessarily.
I know this is a hard time but if possible, try to see it in a positive light, that you are maturing and there is a lot of uncertainty in that process. I hope you can worry less about the future and just follow your interests at school. Employment concerns can be dealt with after a couple of years of college.
Assuming you are a HS junior. Continue to study hard and get the best grades you can- especially since this is the last full year of HS college admissions will see. Another year goes by and you will have more maturity and find colleges that appeal to you and are affordable etc. By then you likely will know if you do your best in STEM or humanities/social science type areas- and which tend to interest you most.
You do not need to have your whole life planned out before college. You do not need to know what to major in by college. Once you start college you will have time to refine your plans based on the courses you take that interest you/you do well in. That is a few years from now. Once you are in college you also will learn a lot more about various jobs available for those with various majors. Colleges have career centers and testing to help.
Once you are in college you will have a lot more freedom in choosing a much wider variety of classes to take. You will keep maturing in your interests and be better able to make future plans.
Right now is much too soon to worry about the career you eventually have. Relax about the future. Take the classes that you need for admission to colleges. Your guidance office will have that information for your state schools. When you are planning your freshman year in college you will have advisors to help you choose the freshman classes so you take courses leading to any plans.
Hang in there for now. College is much more interesting but you need to have a solid knowledge base acquired in HS to succeed there.
We parents with college aged and beyond kids still often do not know what they may be doing by the time they are 30- nor do our kids. So many changes from age 16 to 18 to 25 to 30.
I think @compmom nailed it. You’re growing up and maturing out of (for now) a childhood goal. It doesn’t mean you won’t become a doctor - it just means that you are beginning to think on your own and if you decide to pursue a medical career, it’ll be because you deliberate chose it, not because it was simply your childhood dream.
Keep in mind, there’s what you want to do and then there’s how and where you want to do your work. You can do almost anything within the context of relief aid or an NGO. They need doctors and nurses, they need accountants, they need teachers. So don’t feel limited because you don’t want to work in the for-profit world.
I agree with others. You’re a high school junior and it’s a bit early to map out your entire college and early career years. Focus on still being the best you can, get good grades, follow your interests. Put career on the back burner. Next year, apply to colleges. If you’re still feeling unsettled after acceptances, then consider deferring and taking a gap year.
Medical school IS a huge time and monetary commitment, so the decision whether to go that route shouldn’t be taken lightly, so you are wise to soul search as you are doing.
There are already some very good practical suggestions above for you so I would just like to encourage you. I was surprised to read that you are only a junior in HS. Your writing suggests you are very bright, self aware and mature for your age. So my advice to you is don’t worry too much, keep working hard in school and don’t forget to enjoy yourself and take care of yourself. Whatever path you decide to go down, people with those traits can find success and happiness.
Great advice from lots of people here! I would also add that you don’t have to keep killing yourself to gun for some major school. You can go to a nice normal state school, explore a variety of majors with a schedule that will allow you some time to BREATHE and to look around and find a path that will work for you. We have multiple family members who are in healthcare and they all took different paths that worked for them and they are all successful and happily employed in jobs that range from RN; CRNA, NP and MD. But you know what none of them did ? None of them were gunning for it all the time with no break.
I wonder on occasion if I would have enjoyed being in another medically related field with a PhD instead of an MD. Fields I never knew existed until later in my undergrad career. Who knows- perhaps in a few years you will feel like taking on a rigorous challenge. Especially if you take time to enjoy life in the here and now instead of only being future oriented. It is possible to study hard and play hard. This means being a kid while you still have the chance. Having fun with extracurriculars you enjoy, watching school productions/sports, so many nonacademic things.
Something I’ll never regret- taking an hour off studying for a final exam as a college freshman to walk with a friend who was transferring to another college (more money in aid)- can never replace that fun and would not have done any better in the class. Also- no regrets for giving our gifted son many normal childhood experiences instead of always maximizing his academics.
Live more in the moment. You will take the classes that make it possible to do what you eventually choose. That’s all you need for now. Being more relaxed likely will decrease stress and allow you do actually learn better. Learn the math, science, literature for its own sake, not a future goal.
You have received some amazing advice here and I’d just like to add you sound like an amazing reflective student. One of mine spent time shadowing doctors that we have relationships with - an ER chief, an orthopedic surgeon and his own pediatrician. After thinking that was what he would do since he was a little kid, he decided he didn’t have the passion he thought he had to justify that many years and be a struggling student that long. My other one, I thought certain to go into a health field, spent 4 years volunteering through HS at a hospital in many capacities, and decided the health industry was not for her either. Perhaps you can find people to reach out to or experiences like this before you dive in. College is not a jail sentence, no one is telling you what to do - go in that first year with an open mind and take those math and science basics to keep options open. Then see what interests you in that big new world. You will find your thing; whether it is medicine or not is tbd, and hopefully up to you. Good luck!
When I was young, I wanted to be a cowboy. But as I grew up I learned about different careers and which ones would make sense for me.
If you are not interested in much of anything anymore, I would talk to your parents/doctor about depression.
But if it is just medicine you aren’t interested in, then it would be good to do volunteering in the area that you are interested in. Can you volunteer for the Red Cross or some other community service? Find out if you like working with disadvantaged people. Or volunteer at the hospital to explore the medical route.
Perhaps before/during/after college do a Peace Corps type thing so you see if you like Humanitarian Aid.
Also, I would stop talking to some of those people about your plans, or if you have to, do it vaguely.
“I am interested in something where I can have an impact on people’s lives…not sure what my major will be yet.”
Also keep in mind that whatever you choose, you are hearing from your parents that they want you to be self-supporting.
As a parent myself, I think I’d be broken hearted that my child is having doubts about achieving his dream. I’d be encouraging you to push yourself further because from what I’ve read you have the enthusiasm somewhere inside you you just have to find a way to bring it back again. And I deeply hope you find it quick.