Buyer's Remorse Over College Decision

Colleges and Universities A-Z Princeton University
1

<p>So...the past few days have been complete hell for me. I was accepted to both Princeton and Stanford and was torn between the two before choosing Princeton at the last minute. In the past few hours, I've been experiencing buyer's remorse about this decision and am starting to think that I should have chosen Stanford. The main source of this comes from the fact that I don't know if I'm ready for the intense workload at Princeton. Don't get me wrong: I know Stanford is no cakewalk and I have no expectation of getting a 4.0 GPA. That said, as someone seriously considering finance and law, my impression is that a Princeton student would need to work an inordinate amount to achieve a GPA in the 3.6+ range, which seems necessary to be competitive for such fields. I am especially concerned because my school is, as far as workload goes, a complete joke; transitioning to Stanford from a place where I can crap out a (poorly-written) 10 page paper in three hours and get 100% on it sounds hard enough. Making the same jump to Princeton sounds like it's somewhere between intimidating and impossible.</p>

<p>I feel that while I prefer certain aspects of Princeton to Stanford, those may not hold a candle to the stress caused by an extra 20+ hours a week of work. If this is the case, I don't think I've made the right choice. While I love academics - the intellectual atmosphere at Princeton was a big factor in my decision - I'm worried that I'll be stuck choosing between the free time necessary for a satisfying college experience and the possibility of getting the job that I want.</p>

<p>With my rant out of the way, I have a couple questions for Princeton students:</p>

<ol>
<li>About how much time do you spend each week on school-related work? (everything from class time to reading to studying for tests)</li>
<li>How much time each week is necessary to receive a reasonably high GPA (3.6 or higher) without either being a genius or intentionally taking the easiest courses?</li>
<li>If I do end up deciding that I'd be better off at Stanford, is there any hope at this point? I've already replied that I won't be attending, but could they re-accept me if I call within a couple days? If so, would Princeton let me go after committing?</li>
</ol>

<p>Sorry if the above wall of text doesn't come across as I intend. I love Princeton, but I'm still freaking out right now that I may have made the wrong choice.</p>

2

<p>I can’t help you with the first two but about the buyer’s remorse: remember why you chose Princeton. If you thought long and hard about the decision and in the end, Pinceton had more pros than Stanford and fewer cons, then you made the right decision. The inability to make decisions is not a good trait: you made a decision, now commit to it.</p>

<p>I made the same decision a few years ago when deciding between graduate schools. I absolutely loved Stanford but I decided that Princeton’s program was better for what I want to do. Do I think about what would have happened had I gone to Stanford? Of course. I thought I had made the wrong decision (sometimes I still do!). But then I remind myself why I chose Princeton and I know I made the right decision.</p>

<p>NB: how hard you will have to work depends on you. If may take a semester to figure out the right balance but you’ll figure out what works for you.</p>

3

<p>For #1 and #2, please see the following thread: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/princeton-university/1185403-getting-plowed-my-freshman-year-princeton.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/princeton-university/1185403-getting-plowed-my-freshman-year-princeton.html&lt;/a&gt;
For #3, yes, you can call Stanford Undergraduate Admissions to discuss this matter. Same for Princeton. You will be part of Princeton’s “summer melt” statistics. It happens all the time.</p>

4

<p>You need to take a deep breath and listen to the PP. I am a sophomore at P, and my best friend from HS is at Stanford. I really do not believe that the workload is significantly different, and yes, the grading is tougher at Princeton, but from the experiences of my friends who graduated from P last year and are about to graduate this year, none seem to be having ANY trouble getting into graduate school, including law school, or getting great jobs, despite GPAs that are not close to 4. And the workload is quite a bit higher in the STEM majors and courses in my experience. I am doing pretty well in a non-STEM major, but with some quant courses such as computer science and stats and econ, and still having a great time with extracurriculars and an active social life. I am very focused and hardworking for 3-4 hours a day many days, but I don’t spend all weekend every weekend working and not every night. </p>

<p>Freshman year is going to be tough for you if you feel you are not well-prepared from your HS, because you may need to learn to write convincing and clear essays that don’t simply regurgitate what you have read, but offer some of your own synthesis and analysis. The grading tends to be toughest in the big intro courses, because the departments overall have grading targets, and they tend to give more As to their upper levels classes. So the lesson is choose your classes wisely, don’t take only big intro courses, and don’t take 3-4 courses that are all supposed to be really tough at the same time. And spread out the type of work (ie try to get some distribution science or language courses, they will have problem sets or more constant work and not just big papers and tests). Take advantage of all the advising available to you in the residential colleges (most of the RAs are junior and seniors and are good resources about course selection I found), and sign up to start for 5 classes and then decide which to drop after a few weeks based on balance and what you are excited by. </p>

<p>Stanford from what I have seen is much less personal, getting help is harder, classes are much bigger, so on balance that could cause plenty of stress as well.</p>

5

<p>Does Stanford actually have 20 less hours of work a week? I really doubt that. </p>

<p>And I recommend that you stop worrying so much about GPA.</p>

6

<p>I remember reading somewhere on CC about a boy who declined Harvard’s acceptance and went to his flagship state school for a presidential scholarship, but regretted the decision two or three days after May 1st and called Harvard’s admissions office. (if you search around you could probably find it.) It took a bit of paperwork, but they let him back in a week or so later, so you should be fine and they should take you back if you call up the admissions office and explain! The kid did not EVER regret his choice after that. If you really feel like Stanford is better for you, then go for it! Better go for it than spend the next four years regretting your decision and suffering from the workload. Good luck! :)</p>

7

<p>Son is a freshman at Princeton and has received pretty good grades so far, while engaging in a ton of extracurricular activities and a very active social life. He’s certainly no genius, but chose his courses wisely. Rufusww has really given you some excellent ideas. Take a freshman seminar - great classes with 15 or so students – and make sure you don’t take all your hardest courses in the same semester.</p>

<p>My son, and all of his friends, absolutely love Princeton. They are working hard, but no harder than students at other comparable schools, from what I’ve been able to glean anecdotally from my friends, and they are having the time of their lives. In addition to classwork, I think that my son probably puts in an average of 2-4 hours per day on schoolwork (but it varies), and sometimes more on Sundays (he’s a non STEM major) and then of course there’s the occasionally all-nighter when a paper is due. It seems pretty typical to me - and I’m certain that he doesn’t spend 20 hours a week more than Stanford students on homework/classwork (in fact, I doubt he spends any more time than a Stanford student on homework/classwork).</p>

<p>The Princeton students I know (and my daughter also graduated from there a few years ago) have had no problems getting into top law schools and the recruiting for finance jobs is really top-notch. I understand your concerns, but I truly don’t think that they’re warranted. It is not only a wonderful school, with amazing academics and a plethora of extracurricular and social activities, it also has an administration and professors and advisers who really care about the students.</p>

8

<p>Hey qwaszxas, I won’t be much help with most of your questions because I haven’t actually gone to Princeton yet, but I was also deciding between Stanford and Princeton until a few days ago when I decided to go with Princeton. I share some of your worries about coping with large amounts of work, grade deflation, etc. So I too wondered if I wouldn’t be better off going to Stanford since its known for being less work-intensive. But then I realized that I didn’t apply to Stanford or Princeton because I was looking for the easiest route and would probably regret any decision made out of fear, and fear based on unreliable comparisons at that (as far as we know there may be very little difference between the rigor of the two schools). I would say, however, that I love Princeton enough to justify extra work. If the choice doesn’t feel right to you on other levels, then I’d try talk to Stanford about attending, but I wouldn’t let your fear stop you from even trying. A question I considered when choosing between my various colleges was not which school I could necessarily see myself assimilating to the easiest (a common measuring stick for making these decisions), but where could I see myself growing into the person I want to become. For me, that is a person who is confident, well educated, and capable of tackling any problem I set my mind to. I personally feel that some level of stress and hardship is good for growth and will leave me with all of these things, so I chose Princeton. However, most people I know don’t share my perspective on choosing the harder option, so I guess my best advice would be to go with your gut. Think it over and try to assess if this is just temporary nervousness or a deep-seated instinct that’s telling you that you won’t be happy at Princeton.</p>

<p>As some of the people in posts above have expressed, Princeton seems to care a lot more about their students, one of the many reasons I ultimately picked Princeton over Stanford. I think it will be very hard no matter where you go, but I’d rather be at a place that will be more supportive and give me more individualized attention, which I don’t think will be true at Stanford based on the feedback I’ve received from alums, current students, and personal observation. So I’d advise you to consider that too. I personally hope you stick with Princeton because I think its the most amazing school ever, but really, do what you feel is right.</p>

9

<p>1. About how much time do you spend each week on school-related work? (everything from class time to reading to studying for tests)</p>

<p>Workload will vary–ie, it will obviously be much higher during midterms week–but I probably work about 4-5 hours/day during the week, take Saturdays off, and work a 2-3 hours Sunday. Plenty of people complain about their workload, but I find that it’s usually the people who are taking classes out of their league (usually overeager STEM freshman) or people who say they’re “working” when they’re really on Facebook or chatting with friends. I work in a few focused bursts between classes and am usually done by 10 pm or so, including extracurriculars.</p>

<p>2. How much time each week is necessary to receive a reasonably high GPA (3.6 or higher) without either being a genius or intentionally taking the easiest courses?</p>

<p>See above. (I have a GPA slightly higher than that.) For humanities and some social science majors, it’s really about grasping main ideas and writing quality papers. For that reason, it’s more important to be alert and focused during lectures, precepts, and readings than it is to spend inordinate amounts of time doing the work. Other tips include talking to professors: they’re awesome, interested in you, and are more likely to grade you well if they understand your ideas better. (Think about it: going to office hours to discuss a paper basically just gives you a chance to defend yourself, and to add their own idiosyncratic tweaks.)</p>

<p>Other than that, you’ll want to be reasonable with your courseload, but the keyboard is balance, not intentionally taking courses you’re already good at. </p>

<p>3. If I do end up deciding that I’d be better off at Stanford, is there any hope at this point? I’ve already replied that I won’t be attending, but could they re-accept me if I call within a couple days? If so, would Princeton let me go after committing?</p>

<p>This isn’t a terribly uncommon phenomenon. Unless Stanford has overenrolled for this coming year, you’re probably fine. (Of course, call Stanford first!) </p>

<p>However, it’s worth mentioning that I too had buyer’s remorse about Princeton. I turned down Harvard and UChicago for Princeton at the last second, and I continued to freak out until the summer. Ultimately, though, the reasons that I decided on Princeton–more faculty attention, higher per-capita endowment, more academic focus–have all turned out to be really central to my experience here. That doesn’t mean you’ll immediately get great grades and find your best friends when you arrive on campus in the fall, but it does mean that you can make it work, particularly if there are rational reasons you think Princeton is the best fit.</p>