Buyers remorse? Please help me feel better about my choice!

Hi College Confidential community,

I have to say I’ve learned a lot from you lately as I discovered this site recently. I come here today for some advice and help as I go through a potential buyers’ remorse. I’ve committed to Berkeley and although I am very fortunate and happy about my choice, it’s hard to keep hearing from other high-achieving friends that I could have done better and that they were surprised I “only” made it to Berkeley. Some of these friends chose to go to expensive private high schools so they would have a better chance at Ivies. The ones that got into Columbia, Yale, etc. are now pestering me saying I should have done the same. I am now feeling like my family made a bad choice and I am making a bad choice by going to Berkeley rather than my other private school options (including a lower tier Ivy).

Those of you at Berkeley and those going to Berkeley who are super, super excited about it, please help me here. Am I making a good choice? I’m going in for a stem/health/pre-med major.

Thank you tons!

I don’t go to Berkeley but come on, it’s an amazing school. You obviously chose it for some reasons so be proud of it. If you need to brag to your friends, you can say you turned down an Ivy for Berkeley :slight_smile:

Thank you @Celtic1421! I am proud but also anxious about letting myself and others down for not going to a more prestigious Ivy. I know this is silly, but I’d love to hear from Berkeley students or those going there because it’s their first choice and they would rather not go anywhere else.

Basically pls let me feel better about choosing Berkeley before I go crazy in my head in this quarantine !

It seems your current perspective keys into the deeply resonant aspects of choosing a college in general — that is, beyond the prospect of real academic, as well as other, opportunities, you have clearly been affected by psycho-socio influences. In light of this, you might find the candid response in the below interview refreshing. As in your case, it acknowledges college choice as important — generating a “greatest regret” — but it also suggests that a personal sense of discernment should drive that choice.

https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2014/10/15/charlie-baker-takes-proust-questionnaire/p2B2GsYFIUnYnVLsZCiX3I/story.html?outputType=amp

Think how insecure these “friends” of yours must be, that they need to validate the superiority of their achievements at your expense.

Are you in-state for Berkeley? Maybe they’re stressed about spending twice as much, and need to convince themselves that their schools are twice as good.

Honestly, this is nonsense. The Ivies are wonderful schools, but the prevalence of this kind of attitude is a real downside. Berkeley is in a weird space, because there are certainly people at UCB who will turn right around and treat people who go to “lesser” UC’s with the same kind of attitude. Maybe consider this your opportunity to resolve to never do that. :smile: Other than that… don’t let people who are too small to celebrate your achievements and your bright future rain on your parade. There are plenty of people out there who are beside themselves with joy to be going to Berkeley - listen to them and forge ahead!

Go read the last 3 pages of ask questions about Berkeley here because I’m not retyping that all up.

I chose Berkeley over a full ride.
My friend chose Davis over Berkeley for 3,000$ a year.
My sister chose Caltech over Berkeley even though she knows it’s not worth it and Berkeley engineers make just as much. She just wants to tell everyone she goes to Caltech. There’s no right answer because they’re all good choices. You’ll go to Berkeley and (probably) love it. Especially if you’re an independent learner.

I’m sorry in advance for all the family members asking if you’ll become a hippie and have you gone to a protest yet.

There is no reason for premed people to spend too much on undergrad. Do you know how freaking expensive medical school is?! 80,000$ a year. Save for that. Go to Harvard then. But honestly, medical school is medical school. I’m applying to the cheapest ones. Limiting the inclination to make expensive choices.

You didn’t tell us what your main choice is. I would choose Berkeley over Dartmouth, Cornell and Columbia. They’re not worth the extra 30,000.

Today I learned that David Card who teaches Econ 142 won the Nobel prize for developing differences in differences which is where you compare what happens to treatment and control groups before and after an event. Like what I’m learning in 155A, which is the effect on manufacturing and agriculture in a city before and after a million dollar plant compared to the city that just missed out on the plant.
Berkeley discovered half the periodic table.
The guy who won the breakout prize for capsaicin triggering heat receptors is at Berkeley.
The episode that I listened to yesterday on the Indicator from Planet Money (Sudden Stop episode) had a Berkeley guy.
We have the woman who invented Crispr. She teaches Bio1A in the spring.
I’ve known students who worked for investment banking companies, startup, health consulting in Chicago, started a startup that initially made fluorescent beer but is now something about testing drug impurities, nonprofit starters. My friend is in a class right now helping Tesla on some environmental project.

Go read the 101 things about berkeley page. That’s good for go Berkeley ness.
I visited Claremont McKenna and they were like we have cool speakers come visit. It took me a while to realize, but Berkeley has a ton of cool speakers come visit. You just have to be on the right mailing list. The Nordic department sends me emails about Swedish ambassadors coming to talk. The bug email list sends me talks that are every Friday at 10 am with food. There’s speakers in every department where people present on research that sometimes has food and quite a lot of my professors watching. There’s classes like IB 77A and a poli sci one where politicians or researchers come and talk every week. BioBusiness has a freshman seminar (for anyone) where people in biotech come and talk about getting into biotech. There’s a ton of stuff going on.

I don’t know. Tell me one thing that you think whatever other school might do better and I can probably tell you how Berkeley does the same thing. Original meme page. Overheard. Missed connections. (on Facebook). Don’t go to confessions at berkeley (also Facebook). That’s weird and depressing.

I’m supposed to be paying attention to discounted cash flows with my Wall Street professor dude. Last Thursday of real school for the semester.
I’m graduating over the summer. I still think Clark Kerr is the best. You should get into labs phase one. Ignore prereqs. Take more units. Ochem is fun. Good Bio advisors with good drop in hours. Don’t look for housing until February or later. Use your meal swipes. Learn the names of the food service workers. We know who the polite ones are. If you ever feel lonely, get a job. It’s very likely that you and your roommates will be ambivalent. Get a triple in a dorm not suite. Coed dorms are fine. My sister says I need to write with more white space. Ask again later if you want class advice. I forget what the rest of my advices were. And this is getting too long and probably isn’t very useful.

Not trying to be mean or come off rude but your friends seem to be the biggest jerks out there. What do they mean by the fact that you “only made it to Berkeley”. That is an amazing accomplishment and it is super hard to get into. You do realize UCB is right up there with all the top Ivies and other top 20 schools and it is ranked 21st in the nation overall. Don’t let them make you think otherwise man, you should be proud of this accomplishment and look forward to an exciting 4 years.

However, this reflects a fairly common tendency to overlook the full range of U.S. undergraduate institutions. Nonetheless, by common selectivity measures, UCB places easily as a top-50 school.

https://amp.usatoday.com/amp/40090323

So, in the real world, none of this stuff actually matters.

For one, the vast majority of the world holds Cal in high regard; on par with the Ivies.

For another, once people reach a certain age, they regard appendage-waving contests like what your friends engage in as immature. In fact, I’d say that’s the definition of reaching adulthood: When you start concentrating on the stuff that actually matters in life (like, for instance, saving money) and not HS-style popularity/status contests.

Unfortunately, if your HS sends tons of kids to Ivies, they WILL look down on Berkeley as a second-tier choice (as my neighbor who is a VP at a highly competitive public HS in the Bay Area can attest to). Ignore it.

If you are in-state, Berkeley is a sweet, sweet deal: a heck of a lot cheaper and a top-notch education (DD had a classmate that picked Cal over Harvard because of the price difference - there are plenty of other people who have made that same choice). If you are out-of-state, you are still going to one of the top research universities IN THE WORLD. It is a challenging experience - a degree from there is EARNED, full stop.

Embrace your choice, which is not “just” anything. It will be an amazing experience and open many doors for you.

I picked Cal over MIT.
If you’re pre-med, be glad you’re saving thousands and thousands of dollars. No one cares if you went to Columbia or Berkeley for undergrad, they care about your work experience. I know that if I were a patient, I would pick a Barnard grad with 10 years of experience over Harvard grad who just got out of med school.

I got waitlisted at UCB so I hope to hear some good news from them next week but I am also intended to major in molecular bio in the pre-med track. However, right now I have my deposit in for Northeastern and as someone that wants to go to med school as well, I think as long as you make the right connections and gather great working experience, that is all that matters in the end

Thank you so much to all of you who took the time to respond to me! Yes, I’m in-state and I know that I’ll be getting a debt free education as my parents will pay for it. And even though I picked it over Dartmouth and am on the wait list for Brown and Cornell, I don’t think the price tag at either one would be justified if I come off the wait list.

Your replies have made me much more satisfied with my choice. The more I read about Berkeley and the great programs it offers, the more I am pumped up. Yes, it’ll be a challenge, but after my research on the school and the fact that I’m in-state, I’m convinced that there are only a handful of schools (Harvard? Yale?) that I would choose over it (I would not choose Stanford over Berkeley as I know people that go there and tell me how fake it is). I’m taking the high road and choosing to ignore my friends and their prestige BS.

Thank you all and go Bears!

Berkeley is a great place to get an undergraduate education in the biological sciences or that is focused on preparing students for medical school. I know a number of accomplished people that followed this path. Anecdotal, but one of my past trainees came from UC-Berkeley to my group, did excellent work, went to med school at UCSF, and is now faculty/a director of a program at Mass General (one of the Harvard hospitals). I’ve had a number of top notch kids from well known undergrad institutes train in my group, but this previous Berkeley undergrad is the standard they’re all measured against.

Not any from my group, but I can’t tell you how many others that I’ve known through my career that have reciprocally done lower than expectations despite attending T10 or T5 private universities. Yes, there is a level of selection of smart, capable, individuals - and a higher proportion will do very well - but there is no guarantee of success.

When I’m considering undergrad candidates, there is no objective difference between Berkeley, Caltech, Carleton, Duke, Harvard, Northwestern, Princeton, Stanford, UChicago, UCLA, UNC, UVA, UW (Madison or Seattle :wink: ), or Yale (as examples - I’m missing maybe half the list). We are evaluating whether their GPA is high in challenging, relevant coursework - if their letters of rec are strong - if they write well - and if have a bit of research experience under their belt. That gets them in the door for an interview.

And btw, I know that it’s harder for a student to get a high GPA from Berkeley than some of the other schools, so if anything, I’ll remember the candidate from Berkeley in a stack of applicants because it indicates a degree of grit.