calling silverturtle, kean, and other 2400 geniuses

[Kean]

<p>Here are two real SAT essays that my friend wrote:</p>

<p>11 essay:

Decision making is something every person has encountered. Out of the many options to choose from, which choice should one pick? Some people, when confronted by this difficult decision, rely on their feelings. However, making decisions based on feelings is actually the worst route one can follow. From my personal studies and experiences, I have found that one should, in fact, choose decisions based not off personal emotion, but rather from logic and without bias.
Many years ago, I was one of those people who made decisions based on my feelings. Whether in anger, sadness, or jealousy, I would choose options based on these unreliable emotions, which often led me to do things I regret. For example, I had a best friend once, who was everything I wanted to be: smart, funny, athletic. This, however, soon got on my nerves as he started achieving both higher in academics and sports, and, I must admit, attracting more girls. Because of this envy, I said some really nasty things to him, which broke up our relationship for two months, which was two months longer than I had intended. A similar thing happened with my parents. Out of anger, I did some really stupid things and ended up not really having a true relationship for a couple weeks. Based on these personal experiences that I have described, it is already apparent that making decisions purely out of emotion is not the right way to go. I have also learned this lesson many times in my studies.
Many stories I have read emphasize the importance of not making decisions based on internal emotions. For example, in the play MacBeth, Shakespeare describes an intelligent and caring man, MacBeth, who eventually gains power and becomes king. After reaching this stage, MacBeth becomes too greedy for power, and out of this feeling of greed, he kills his best friend to remain in a power-weilding position. This decision, based on emotion, apparently led MacBeth to make the wrong decision.
All in all, it is evident that decisions should not be made based on internal biawses of feelings. Emotions such as greed, anger, jealousy, and sadness, can cause human beings to overlook what is most important to them. From experience and study, I have truly learned this lesson and can say from the bottom of my heart: decisions should be made from logic, and not emotion.

</p>

<p>10 essay:

“Family is the basis of success”, my grandfather used to tell me repeatedly. I did not really pay attention to these significant words, until I grew up, and began to experience the truth in his words. Family, I discovered, was an important part of life. Based off of the book Ender’s Game, historical studies on immigrants, and personal experiences, I have come to realize that everybody needs a network or a family because a family provides the support needed for success.
In the novel Ender’s Game, main character Andrew Wiggin is a child genius. Because of his capacity for intelligence, he is sent off to Battle School, away from his family. At Battle School, Andrew rises above all the other children, proving his capabilities over and over. However, Andrew soon begins to wear down and grow weary of his success. Andrew stops trying, until he meets his sister, who supports him and motivates him to succeed again. After this asdasdasdasds conversation, Andrew goes on to succeed, knowing that he has the full support of his family behind him. Family encouragement was all that was necessary for Andrew to accomplish his duties.
Another example of family being a necessary part of life lies in the historical studies of immigrants coming to America. Through these studies, immigrants were known to have faced extreme and vastly different circumstances in the “Land of Golden Opportunities”. However, one thing kept these foreign workers from not giving up: their family support. Their families encouraged them to try and to keep trying despite past failures. This alone, was a major cause in what led these immigrants to make a living for their family and to find happiness and success in their lives.
Personally, I have experienced happiness and success from family encouragement as well. In my early years, I wrestled in tournaments but never really performed well, for an unknown reason. Later, I discovered, this reason was family back-up. When my father started becoming interested in my wrestling tournaments and coming to cheer me on, I found happiness and even wrestled harder, winning many times with the knowledge that my family was behind me all the way. Family support then, was the cause of my success.
Overall, family encouragement and support is necessary for everybody, as it is the sole cause of motivation for success. Throughout the book Ender’s Game, historical studies, and personal experiences, I have truly discovered that my grandfather was always correct: “Family is the basis of success.”

</p>

<p>You can tell that my friend isn’t that great of a writer in general. However, the reason why the first essay got an 11 is that it was personal and interesting. The second essay got a 10, even though it had 3 examples and was longer, because it was, simply put, boring. The examples were clear and relevant, sure, but they weren’t interesting or developed well enough. The essay was just so cookie-cutter.</p>

<p>I say 2 examples is the way to go. Flesh them out, fill up both pages, sprinkle some apt SAT vocabulary and vary up the sentences, and you’re on your way to at least an 11.</p>