<p>Hi
I worked really hard all years at high school....great gpa/rigorous courselod/ top notch sats/recs/e.c.'s to get into my dream school (unfortunately among the lowest admit rates in the country) and I didn't get in. I'll be going to a school of similar prestige and similar enviornment (slightly higher admit rate and slightly worse reputation IMO but that really depends who you ask). Anyways, reflecting back on the process, I keep coming back to my essays, because there really isn't anything else on my application I could have done better (in terms of numbers). I just don't know... I started the essays in mid-summer (tailored to my dream school's specific prompt) and really did work hard on them....lots of re-drats and input from the few adults I asked to review (English major gradute from my dream school....experienced counselor...brilliant friend). I think that the essays came out as fairly unique...I'm just afraid that they told stories rather than the touchy-feely "i love the world and love learning and drink hot-coco with my grandma each winter". My essays demonstrated what I did and I guess showed what I am like through my actions. But, some other essays I read kind of are more explicit in saying I am a very (insert adjective) person. </p>
<p>Does anyone have a suggestion on how I can get over always questioning what if I had done my essays differently?</p>
<p>It's over. Time to move on. I've made it a lifelong resolution to not spend time regretting a decision, or trying to figure out why something I really wanted didn't happen, if it's something that can't be changed. If I can learn something from the experience, fine, but ask yourself...of what value is it to spend time fretting about your essays? Immerse yourself in reading all about your college-to-be, perusing the listings of courses, get an idea of exactly what required classes you'll have to take, and figuring out how to make your college years rewarding and fulfilling.</p>
<p>Thanks for your thoughtful response, astrophysicsmom. I just re-read my ED essays + deferal essays and have got to say, I was really proud of the way they turned out. There was a bit more feeling in them than I remembered and they were just overall well crafted. I guess I feel somewhat better? Instead of feeling inadequete, I just feel sort of hosed by the outcome. It's really a ...gee what else on earth could i have done? </p>
<p>I remember when I was 6-7 years old, I went to a sports camp sponsored by my dream school. On one afternoon, we spent 1/2 hour in a building watching film. At the end of it, a representative from the school came and did a little admissions pitch for the school (get em lovin your school while they are young, i guess). I remember him say "We look for students who work hard in the school. So that means try to get A's and B's". I was so excited when I came home after the camp. Maybe my problem was I didn't try to get any B's. ;)</p>
<p>So many kids we know didn't get into their "dream", first choice schools this year. You are not alone in that and you can't second guess that anything you could have done would have changed the outcome. Essays are important, but I don't think it's probably the final determining factor with admissions. Sometimes it can be other things you have no control over, like the number of qualified applicants applying and the school's desire to have a more geographically diverse class. None of us will ever know why one uber student is rejected from almost all top schools or why one who works so hard to be the perfect applicant at xyz school, is turned down there, but accepted to one that's even better. </p>
<p>From what I've seen, I think the school you end up going to is ultimately the best one for you. Things have a strange way of working out for the best and years from now you'll see that. And if it doesn't, you can always apply again to the dream school as a transfer.</p>
<p>Astrophsicsmom is right, move on and start finding out about all the wonderful things going on at the school you will be attending. I'm sure there will be a club, academic opportunity or something to do in the community you'll be happy with.</p>
<p>2forcollege, it is true that things have a way of working out. </p>
<p>I don't think the school I'm going to will provide me with any less educational opportunities, grad school placements or job offers than my dream school. It's just strange when you spend your whole life focused on one goal, it doesnt matter if the prize you get is better of worse, if it's different than you thought it was going to be, it is jolting. It just makes me wonder.... well I spend the rest of my life always achieving something different than I set out to do. It's not that the achievement is any less grand, but sometimes you just want to find what you've been looking for the whole time. Anyone follow that?</p>
<p>Oracle, your essays were a reflection of you -- if the ad com didn't like your essays... well, think about it, do you really want to attend a college where people don't approve of the way you write? You should be happy to go to the school where they all loved and were impressed by your essays!! Who wants to go to a school where the ad com can't recognize quality when they see it?
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will I spend the rest of my life always achieving something different than I set out to do.
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Probably so. That's the way life tends to work out. As John Lennon said, Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.</p>
<p>Some things in life you have control over...what car to buy, where to live, what books to read, etc.</p>
<p>Some things in live you have little control over...which colleges will accept you (George Steinbrenner wanted to go to Princeton, but he was rejected and went to Williams), which people will love you (you think Hilary was Bill's first choice?), when/how you will die (VaTech), how big your...feet... are (insert Tommy Lee joke here). With these, you have to do your best and accept the fact that things generally turn out just fine. You will probably meet some people at your college that will make you happy you ended up there.</p>
<p>Yes, it's disappointing to have to turn in a direction different than you thought you would. You get on a plane for Madrid and find yourself landing in Rome. Does that make Rome any less interesting or fascinating? No, but you planned on going to Madrid. That's kind of like where you are now.</p>
<p>The only things that will make you feel better: time, to get used to the fact that you're in Rome; and your attitude. Consciously say to yourself, "OK, I'm in Rome. Let's make the best of it. I'll get a new tour book, and figure out what I want to see first." Do that for a little while, and eventually you won't have to say it consciously; you'll have discovered all these wonderful things about Rome, and you'll stop regretting not having landed in Madrid.</p>
<p>You are searching for what was "wrong" with your essays. There was nothing wrong. There were just too many great kids applying for too few spots at too few schools. My son had a similar experience, and it is very tough because everyone gasps when we say he is wait-listed at Virginia. Teachers and friends thought he should apply to much more selective schools, but he wanted a "normal" experience at a state school. The wait list was quite a surprise; he did not have a very good plan B. At least you have a solid second choice. My son will not even get to live on campus as a freshman. It is not fun to send a deposit to a school you are lukewarm about, even worse to sign a lease for off campus housing. Our next step is to "get happy'' with choice #2 and we will. Good luck to you. Thanks for sharing your story.</p>
<p>I promise you (this is advice for life) do not waste your time fretting over this decision and result. It is what it is. It is a misuse of your psychic energy to ruminate over what amounts to minutae. Move on. Look forward. Everything happens for a reason, even those things that seem bad at first. You will get a great education wherever you go. After your first job (or even before) the "prestige" of your college doesn't matter, your work experience does. Seriously, enjoy your summer and keep your focus on the here and now.</p>
<p>You WILL have a great time at your college-to-be and you'll get a great education. As you get older, you'll realize that life is much more fluid than it seems now, and that you have absolute control over very little. Embrace uncertainty and you'll have more adventures, more fun, and a life you really like. </p>
<p>That stuff is easy for us old geezers to say, but I do have one practical suggestion: write an essay or article about your experience and try to get it published in a national publication (Seventeen magazine, or a women's magazine (because mothers obsess about college and their kids) or a major newspaper, e.g.). Start it now, and finish it after you discover how much you love your new college. It will help other kids and parents to see the reality of competitive college admissions, and it will make you feel great to be a published author.</p>