Can anyone provide feedback on my statement about poor grades

<p>I’m hesitant to discuss my grades in high school—I don’t want to make excuses for myself; however, I feel that the circumstances of my past had a significant influence on my behavior. I had difficulty overcoming family issues while I was in high school. When I was eleven, my father attempted suicide, and my mother entered a mental hospital and was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia—the worst year of my life. Shortly following these events, my parents separated, and I was left to live alone with my mentally ill mother. Confused and frustrated by my situation, instead of focusing on academics, I channeled all of my energy into music and art to escape my home life. Since graduating high school, I have dealt with my past, am extremely focused on my academics, and am determined to succeed on my path to becoming a physician.</p>

<p>Man, zero responses! Jeez.</p>

<p>How are you planning to communicate the details of your childhood with perspective colleges?</p>

<p>Like this: </p>

<p>I am hesitant to discuss my grades from high school, as I do not care to make excuses for myself. However, I feel that the circumstances of my past had a significant influence on my performance at the time. When I was eleven, my father attempted suicide, and my mother was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia—the worst year of my life. Shortly following these events, my parents separated, and I was left to live alone with my mentally ill mother. Confused and frustrated by my situation at home, I channeled my energy into music and art instead of academics. Since graduating high school, though, I have a renewed focus on my scholarly pursuits and am determined to succeed.</p>