Can some people PLEASE review my College Dismissal Appeal Letter ASAP?

<p>If any mistakes or punctuation or too much wordiness. Please let me know. I really want this to go through :/ If yu have any ideas how to format my heading. Let me know as well. Thank You.</p>

<p>To Whom It May Concern,</p>

<p>I am writing to appeal my academic dismissal from Utica College. I received this letter on January 6th, 2012. When I recently received this letter for my dismissal, it was unexpected, but I admit that I was aware of my poor academic grades. I blame no one but myself. There are no excuses. However, there are factors to why I did perform extremely poor this semester. I would like to encourage you to reinstate me for next semester.</p>

<p>Getting lousy grades does not fit me or my lifestyle. My transcript shows that I have obtained an overall 3.0 GPA with 56 credits earned during my four years of high school. Whenever I did encounter a hardship, I made it my priority to improve my grades. Last semester, I went through a rough time in my life, and I would like to explain the circumstances. As an incoming freshman, I was a full-time student. I was a Biology major and I came to the conclusion that it required more dedication than I thought would be needed. I wasn’t sure if this is what I really wanted to do. I tried it out anyway. The work load was heavy and I didn’t have a passion for what I was doing. On top of that, I was also taking a Chemistry course and a Biology course as well. All of this course work and my study hours became overwhelming and too stressful for me to handle. In addition to that, my heart wasn’t fully into my work because this is not what I wanted to do. I did manage to get a tutor, ask questions, and talk with my professors which wasn’t enough. I was slowly starting to fall behind in my work. I soon realized that being a Biology major wasn’t for me. Therefore, I changed my major to something I found interest in and something I could actually handle. </p>

<p>Besides my major change, I had another downfall. Unfortunately, I had problems at home because my father is a paraplegic and he had been ill at that time. He was constantly going back and forth to the hospital, leaving my mother to be only person to take care of him since I was away at school. I immediately fell into depression along with my mother. Every time she would contact me, there would always be bad news dealing with my father. Around that same time, my grandfather had passed away. I was dealing with too much burden. As much as I did try to adjust, I became very distracted with my home situation. As a result, my grades were suffering. This is no one’s fault, but my own. I should have communicated better with my professors rather than letting these low grades speak for myself. I know I was wrong, but everybody makes mistakes.</p>

<p>Utica College is where my heart is. This was the only college where I could see myself being here for 4 years. Needless to say, I am more comfortable here than being in my own home. Utica College welcomed me with open arms and I immediately felt like I was apart of another family. Out of five colleges, this was the only college that impressed me the most. During my first semester, I had a life-changing experience. I hope to continue this experience at Utica College, and only Utica College. If I am reinstated, I will make it my priority to not only do better, but excel in my courses next semester. I will get a tutor for every course possible and correct my mistakes from last semester. If another family problem arises, I will handle it better and still take responsibility for my work, unlike last semester. I have learned from my mistakes. Since I changed my major, I am more positive and confident with my decision. I am now sure about what I want to do while having an interest in doing it. Also, my father is recovering from his illness and he is in good health now. Knowing that everything is good at home, I am guaranteed to improve next semester. My actions do speak louder than my words. </p>

<p>Please understand that my poor academic performance that led to my dismissal doesn’t define me as a bad student. I’m a determined student who strives to graduate from Utica College that experienced one horrible semester. I truly hope that you will give me a second chance. Thank you for considering my appeal.</p>

<p>Sincerely,
Breana Griffin Undergrad</p>

<p>To be honest I just skimmed it. It looks pretty good but you have to say what will change and what your going to do to improve your grades. Basically you sent the message I am not ready for college. I would emphasize more on your father and less on your lack of interest in biology. Also you need to mention that you will do anything it takes to pull up your grades and that this dismissal was a huge wake up call. Overall its pretty good. If you want you can add higher vocabulary but it is not a must. I would send that out as soon as possible.
Have you tried calling anyone? One semester of bad grades usually students get put on academic probation not a dismissal letter. Good luck</p>