Can someone critique my common app essay?

<p>Any volunteers?</p>

<p>I’ll read it.</p>

<p>i’ll read it.</p>

<p>I will try to help you. I am not using the common app.</p>

<p>I’ll give it my best. PM me.</p>

<p>I’ll read it. PM me</p>

<p>I’ll take a look.</p>