Can someone critique my common app essay?

[Space_Ranger_454]

<p>Any volunteers?</p>

[zdub08]

<p>I’ll read it.</p>

[USCArchie]

<p>i’ll read it.</p>

[gery_sun]

<p>I will try to help you. I am not using the common app.</p>

[RealM]

<p>I’ll give it my best. PM me.</p>

[Dip]

<p>I’ll read it. PM me</p>

[crackednugget]

<p>I’ll take a look.</p>