I really need help. My uncle really didn’t like it, so now I have no idea what do to/change about it. Please let me know if you would be willing to, I will private message it to you!
Try asking a guidance counselor or an English teacher for some help. I’d be weary of some people on this forum as some of them might use your essay in their college applications.
You could try posting in the Essay Forum; there should be a list of readers, but timbercreek is right that it’s at your own discretion. If you want, I’m a Hopkins student, and I’d love to help! You can check my posting / reply history if you want to verify that I really am in college, and that I’ve edited people’s essays before.