Can someone read and help me with my Extracurricular Activities Essay?

<p>I finished my EC essay. Can someone please go over my grammar and give me some feedbacks or advice ?
If you can, PM me your e-mail; I can't PM because I don't have 15 posts and CC requires 15 posts to PM
Thank you!</p>

<p>Hellllllllllllllllllllllp</p>