Can someone with an 11 or 12 essay post their essay?

<p>Well, I got a 9 and now it's also so clear to me what separates an 11 and a 12 from the rest. First of all, I put like 6 examples with 3 in each of my two body paragraphs. This was a big mistake. By reading the 11 and 12 essays, I should have only put 3 examples and really analyzed the heck of why this proves my thesis. It's also very evident that the SAT reader loves to see historical information to back up your thesis. My essay had only literary and personal evidence. The "good" essays used thing like the American and French Revolution, Slavery, stuff like that which are huge events that a reader can already agree with. Thanks everyone for posting your essays, I will totally remember this for May.</p>

<p>hey, i'm taking the may SAT (the march one wasn't run outside the US) can anyone tell me where i can find the so called 'grading criteria' for these things? how does each examiner decide on a score out of 6?</p>

<p>Here's my 12:</p>

<p>[URL=<a href="http://www.imageshack.us%5D%5BIMG%5Dhttp://img206.echo.cx/img206/16/satessay18cd.jpg%5B/IMG%5D%5B/URL"&gt;http://www.imageshack.us]

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<p>[URL=<a href="http://www.imageshack.us%5D%5BIMG%5Dhttp://img206.echo.cx/img206/2661/satessay27vv.jpg%5B/IMG%5D%5B/URL"&gt;http://www.imageshack.us]

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<p>Not sure if these links work, but I posted the urls.</p>

<p>Does anyone have an 11-12 essay who wrote on the subject of creativity? Can you attach a link?</p>

<p>I haven't gotten my scores back yet but I just wanted to see what the 11-12 scorers did.</p>

<p>Here's my 12. I'm in debate so I know tons of stuff from that.</p>

<p>"In ancient Greece, a revolutionary new idea was introduced into the Athens city - state. Every person would have one vote, and would vote on important legislation. This concept was called democracy, or rule by the people. In the fundamentals of democracy lies the core of majority rule. While many may believe that majority rule is weak and cannot fulfill its expectations, there is no alternative. Because government cannot function without it and utilitarianism is the only goal capable of being achieved in any government, majority rule is the best and only guide for governments.</p>

<p>When majority rule is carried out, the government has only one decision to execute. However, if each and every minority makes a declaration of how something should function, there would be no possible way for the government to fulfill the needs of its people. Listening to the minorities forces teh government to create needless bureaucracy. The government is burdened down as it is with endless paperwork and intimidating obstacles. The majority gives the government an arrow, clear and distinct, to follow. In the act of trying to help one minority, the government would have to help the infinite other minorities under their rule, eventually creating utter chaos.</p>

<p>This idea of governmental function leads directly to Immanuel Kant's philosophy of utilitarianism. Utilitarianism means greatest good for the greatest number. As has already been stated, it is impossible for the government to meet the needs of every single citizen under its thumb. What the government can accomplish is the greatest good for the greatest number. Trying to satisfy all religious groups, for example, will inevitably lead to cultural conflict. So the ruling body must listen to the will of the majority and ensure that minorities are not mistreated or losing civic rights. So by appeasing the minorities and using the opinions of the majority, the government can meet its obligation to help its people.</p>

<p>The government has a simple purpose: to fulfill the needs of its people. The opinion of the majority allows for this crucial clause to be met. Seeing as the government cannot function by creating endless bureacracy to help minorities and can attain the better goal of utilitarianism, the guide of the majority allows stability in government to occur. The minority, while holding worthy opinions, must be appeased and not be allowed to direct the government. The will of the majority must prevail in government."</p>

<p>I think that the readers are looking for how your wrote, not what you wrote.</p>

<p>FAKEOUT</p>

<p>thanks alot best_wr i appreciate it :)</p>

<p>I don't think anyone will be able to ever crack the writing grade code. I know that when i was prepping myself for the SATII writing every time i wrote one of those essays, I knew that if i handed something like that in to school, I would be lucky to walk away with a C. I got an 11 on my essay, which last may was about making decisions, I wrote on Achilles, Columbous, and myself. Grammar and **** is probly the most imporant factor, but other than that I really dont see how they grade them.</p>

<p>I think the most important thing is clarity. If you're clear in what you wrote, then there is a good chance that the score will probably be an 11 or 12.</p>

<p>FAKEOUT</p>

<p>correct me if i'm wrong but wasn't utilitarianism Jeremy Bentham's philosophy?</p>

<p>Jeremy Bentham created the philosophy of utilitarianism. TO the best of my knowledge, Kant wrote nothing of util.</p>

<p>emmanuel kant did write about utilitarianism. I remember reading it in my ap euro class. pursuit of happiness or w/e :-p.</p>

<p>my 12 (majority rule):</p>

<pre><code> In Bob Fosse's film of Kander and Ebb's musical Cabaret, one of the most striking scenes involves, of all things, an outdoor lunch party. Allow me to describe: beer is flowing merrily, conversation is pleasing and plentiful and the sun beams down over everything. A young man, blonde, tall and handsome, stands up and begins to sing. His voice is clear and resonant; the song beautiful. The camera pans down to reveal something most surprising: on the boy's arm is a swastika. The rest of the people in the beer-garten nod along- what a wonderful boy and song and political policy! All nod along except for one- an old man, whose face is marked with sadness and terror. He is the only one to not be guided by the opinions of the Nazi majority of the luncheon and of Germany.

History proves that the old man was making the best choice in not following the opinion of the majority: now, in Germany, studnets spend more than 2 YEARS learning about the Nazi takeover of Germany, in order that it may not happen again. This shows that, in general, the opinion of the majority is not always the best guide. Look at Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter. In it, the character Hester Prynne is forsaken by her Puritan town because of her pregnancy; a pregnancy resulting from a forbidden love with the priest. However, for both Hester and the priest (Arthur Dimmesdale), freedom is only found when they are together. The majority in that Puritan town would have the two remain in misery till death, and only in the rejection of majority ideals can they achieve happiness. Another example of the majority ideal being a poor guide is this country of America pre-Civil Rights. During this time period, an ENTIRE POPULATION of an ethnic group was deemed inferior- the majority of residents in cities like Washington DC could not use "white" water fountains. Not only was the majority in the wrong in thinking that African Americans were inferior, but a trangression on natural civil liberties took place- the majority denied that all men are created equal!

My personal life too proves that majority idea may not be in the best interest. I have the privilege of being born a member of that distinct minority of homosexuals. Majority opinion now states that homosexuality is wrong- a sin! But I ask you this, is it best for me to capitulate to majority opinion, simply because it is majority opinion? Should I, like Hester Prynne, lock my heart away- deny what I was BORN as because of what other people think? The answer is, most resolutely, no! The majority opinion will not make me a slave.
</code></pre>

<p>-that's word for word from what i wrote on test date, so some of it is kind of awkward, as would be expected from a 25 minute essay. However, something in it must have been good- it's a perfect 12! Hope this helps anyone looking for help...</p>

<p>that definitely did deserve a 12, that was quite the essay for 25 mins.</p>

<p>You did ruin the book for anyone who hasnt read it though.</p>

<p>there are definitely a lot of people from the eastern side. does anyone have a 11 or 12 essay with the creativity writing prompt?</p>

<p>I wrote on creativity and got a 12, but...even I can't read my essay online. Sorry.</p>

<p>Edit: I think I've established that the first few words are "Since the beginning." </p>

<p>As I recall, I wrote about diplomacy in the modern world, and a great deal about theoretical physics. :)</p>

<p>oops i didn't think about spoiling Scarlet letter ! I'll put in an edit!!!!</p>

<p>(ps... I LOVE Scarlet Letter)</p>

<p>EDIT: Oh nooo can't get back to edit previous post</p>

<p>ah well the "who?" in scarlet letter isn't the big surprise of the book...its revealed half way through or so...its the "what happens?"</p>

<p>but i'll put in big letters here:</p>

<p>NOTE IF ANYONE HAS NOT READ SCARLET LETTER AND DOES NOT WISH PARTS OF THE BOOK TO BE SPOILED - DO - NOT - READ - MOST RECENTLY POSTED - ESSAY!!!!! NOTA BENE!!!!</p>

<p><a href="http://home.earthlink.net/%7Egalenwiley/essay1.jpg%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://home.earthlink.net/~galenwiley/essay1.jpg&lt;/a>
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<p>I received an 8. After reading everyone else's essay, I now know why. That was perhaps the worst piece of writing I have ever written. I was appalled by the shallow insight, the repetive word usage, and the overall lack of good, specific evidence. Horrid!</p>

<p>I'm in a 19th cent am lit course right now, we read TSL in janurary, i enjoyed it, especially compared to the other stuff we read: Melville, Emerson, Thoreau, Whitman. God I hate 19th cent. Am Lit.</p>

<p>i<em>wanna</em>be_Brown:</p>

<p>Huh?</p>

<p>
[quote]
This idea of governmental function leads directly to Immanuel Kant's philosophy of utilitarianism.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>From my knowledge of "baseball card philosophy", the prominent utilitarians were Jeremy Bentham (the originator) and John Stuart Mill. Whatever Kant had to do with utilitarianism is overshadowed by the fact that he was a transcendental idealist, whatever that means.</p>

<p>I guess the essay readers weren't as interested in facts as on structure, style, grammar, cohesion, etc. I wonder how many marks one would lose if they said that Abraham Lincoln led the Confederates and Jefferson Davis freed the slaves...</p>