<p>Can you please grade my essay and provide constructive criticism. This is only my third practice SAT under timed conditions and I would like to know how to improve my score even up to a 12. Thank you! Post your essay with feedback and I will score back.</p>
<p>Prompt: Is disagreement necessary to progress?</p>
<pre><code> Disagreement is a necessity when in comes to making progress. People must circumspect all sides of an opinion and must also think of possible alternatives. If we don't consider both sides of an idea, then we could be taking one step forward, but two steps back. Disagreement has been the key to progress over the past few centuries including Galileo discovering the true center of the universe, the declaration of America's independence from Great Britain, and even the great philosopher, Socrates.
Before the invention of the telescope, Galileo opposed the church's declarative opinion that the Earth is the center of the universe. Galileo studied closer and discovered the sun was the center of the universe, and consequently he was charged for hersey and immediately thrown in jail. Although he is contradicting belief toward the popular opinion was rejected at first, it opened the gates necessary for further study into the astronomy of the world. Only because Galileo disagreed, mankind progressed into a new world of science.
Another famous account of challenging the opposition comes from the ancient greek philosopher, Socrates. Socrates had a different way of finding the absolute truth and progressing, which was by asking questions. If someone were to have went to Socrates proposing a solution, Socrates would immediately question the man why until he could no longer answer. This theory helped the ancient greeks disagree, which eventually lead to the remarkable progress they achieved.
In addition, disagreement was also the main factor that led America to the same freedom we have today. Governed by strict British rule, the United States of America rebelled and outright fought against the opposition. Through this disagreement, Americans were soon granted their independence. Who knows where we would be today if our founding fathers never stood up for what was right and rebelled against the British rule?
Some people might believe that disagreement can hinder progress, but it only guarantees that the progress that is taking place is beneficial to all. Like the famous president, Grover Cleveland said, "If there is no opposition, there is no progress."
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<p>Use words that you know. You misused circumspect.</p>
<p>Haha I know I realized it after I was done. I meant to put scrutinize. Thanks!</p>
<p>"Disagreement has been the key to progress over the past few centuries including Galileo discovering the true center of the universe, the declaration of America’s independence from Great Britain, and even the great philosopher, Socrates. " </p>
<p>I think there is a parallelism error in this sentence. Socrates isn’t a progress. Besides he lived 24-25 centuries ago (not few). That one isn’t important as much as parallelism though.
One more minor error: “he is contradicting belief” would be “his contra…”</p>
<p>Generally the essay looks powerful; I would give it a 5(/6).</p>
<p>collegeboy7 Thanks! I always have trouble coming up with a declarative, powerful thesis, and it was killing me not to fix that error when I retyped it. Just wondering what I could do better to make it a 6/6</p>
<p>I think that “Galileo discovering the true center of the universe” should be reworded to “Galileo’s discovery of the true center of the universe.” The first one sounds a bit strange to me.</p>
<p>Your opening paragraph sets the plan for your essay. Let’s look at yours:</p>
<p>Disagreement is a necessity when in comes to making progress. People must circumspect all sides of an opinion and must also think of possible alternatives. (Two things people should do.)</p>
<p>If we don’t consider both sides of an idea, then we could be taking one step forward, but two steps back. (Why? Example?)</p>
<p>Disagreement has been the key to progress over the past few centuries including Galileo discovering the true center of the universe, the declaration of America’s independence from Great Britain, and even the great philosopher, Socrates. (An awkward sentence. Try: Disagreement is the key to progress. Notable examples of this include Galileo’s discovery of the true center of the universe (solar system, actually), America’s declaration of independence from Great Britain, and Socrates’ philosophy of questioning all beliefs. </p>
<p>Now you stated there are two things all people must do, inspecting all sides of an opinion and thinking of alternatives. Where are they discussed in your essay? (I found one, but I’m not sure you are aware of its presence.)</p>
<p>"…one step forward and two steps back…" A significant assertion. Where is it developed? Do you have reasons, facts, examples or testimony to support it?</p>
<p>You gave three examples. What unique idea does each develop that is not developed by the other two examples, or does your essay actually only state one idea and then give three examples of the same idea?</p>
<p>You need to work on writing clear, direct sentences. Don’t try to sound impressive. Clear ideas are the heart of clear sentences.</p>
<p>score 7 - 8</p>
<p>Yeah I understand where what you’re saying. Thanks for the feedback. I will be sure to work on this more through practice!</p>