<p>Thanks a lot, ColoradoMomof2, mdoc, Marian and starbright.</p>
<p>JS Mom,</p>
<p>My S1 is just like yours. Very bright. Can ace any standardized testing without any preparation at all. this is his how got into a highly competitive local magnet high school which is rated as #4 among public schools in USA. this is how he got SAT 2400 (did not even finish a single practice test). </p>
<p>At school, he aces all tests based on logic & understanding (written or verbal). Does not do too well in tests that require conscientious memorizing (barely passed Latin in his private middle school). I have never seen him preparing for tests. He does his home work following a JUST IN TIME management philosophy: doing it at school right before the class if it is a problem solving type (math, physics), starting at mid night the night before if it's research/report type.</p>
<p>He spent first two years of HS becoming the youngest and most highly sought after strategist in his global on-line gaming community, and sold his game character on ebay for thousands of dollars due to its advanced development when he quit because he wanted to pursue other interests in his life (no pressure from us). Big NO NO, and something he cannot put on his college application package as anything to be proud of as an achievement. He did not do ECs for the sake of beefing up his resume. As a result, he has a very thin EC resume. </p>
<p>However, what he is interested in, he does it voraciously and fanatically. In his case, it happens to be international finance. Becoming a minor expert at the age of 17, actively managing money we set aside for him - thus far, hasn't blown it away with a reckless investment strategy. Reads non-stop very serious books on international finance and investing. Alas, not the kind of EC that shines on a college application paper- no competition, no proof, no award.</p>
<p>He got an EA from U Chicago. He has applied RD to HYP and Wharton. Given his thin EC resume, it's a good bet that he won't get into these schools. </p>
<p>However, all in all, I am very happy for him: he is an extraordinarily happy kid, feeling completely in charge of his life. Pursuing what interests him with an unalloyed passion. Very well liked by peers and teachers/other adults around him. Sheer joy to have around at home. </p>
<p>He now says "well, I did not put any effort during the high school days. In college, I plan to work really hard, and graduate among top three among my peers" </p>
<p>So what if he does not go to Harvard. With his intelligence & personality, he will do well no matter which college he goes. I would rather not confine him and his own growth with a conventional wisdom. Life is a marathon, not a 100m sprint. On a long term basis, that sense of being in control, and choosing his own path is far more important. And, yes, being well adjusted, happy and insightful of other people's psyche is very important: I saw too many really bright people stumble due to the psychological factors- and I am not talking about real psychological problems - but rather common maladies that prevent people from performing up to their potential - like not emotionally intelligent enough to navigate through the organizational political landscape.</p>
<p>My thinking is that, if you are dealing with an exceptionally bright mind, you could actually limit its potential when you try to shape it according to the conventional wisdom.</p>
<p>So, my advice to you: relax. your son seems to be an extraordinarily bright kid. Let him guide himself. If he does not study and still do well, so what? When the time comes, he will. Of course, this input does not apply if he does NOT seem to pursue anything of his own passionate interest. But I don't think that's the case.</p>
<p>We are working on it. Pulled out some study guides and are looking at how to study for cumulative exams. This is difficult because S is not that gung ho about it. Wants to raise those grades but not enough to do the tedious work necessary.</p>
<p>I want to make it clear that it does not have to be an ivy league school that requires good study skills. Many of the skills you learn to get good grades are useful in all school and in many future endeavors.</p>
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<blockquote> <p>Lots of students at the Ivy League colleges didn't need to study in high school. Some will find that college requires more work than they are used to, and most of them will learn to do what it takes.<<</p> </blockquote>
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<p>Or to be satisfied with grades that aren't up to the usual grades he got in high school. Or both.</p>
<p>JS, you'd be surprised at the amount of tutoring in basic subjects at Harvard.</p>
<p>It shouldnt be a problem assuming he's not taking science , math or engineering. Noone studies in the Ivies until 2 weeks before finals and there hasnt been anything like a Bell curve there for decades. What is the current grade distribution at Harvard College, something like 60% As, 35% Bs and 5%Cs?</p>
<p>Many kids who didn't have to work in high school enter an Ivy or other tough school and discover that they have to work. I did it preemptively. I became nervous that all my classmates were valedictorians and I work incredibly hard for 6 weeks and completed 12 weeks of work in all my math and science courses. I had gotten A's on all of the quizzes/tests and calmed down.</p>
<p>Some kids to whom everything has come easy panic when something is actually hard or they are not as bright as the top kids and an area that they thought they were great at. Some of those who panic actually recover. Others get depressed and crash and burn.</p>
<p>My sense is that some schools are for people who love pursuing ideas and love working to do that. Your son might actually be one of those kids. He just hasn't had to where he is. My son benefited a lot for partial home-schooling because he could cover some subjects that took a full year in high school in a half a year at home.</p>
<p>Others have offered good advice. I'm going to approach some other areas.</p>
<p>Do not worry about your son. It is more important to spend enough time to do the work/learn the material than it is to spend x minutes a day studying. Let your son enjoy his childhood, it sounds as though he is getting enough high level academic experiences and doing well at them. You do not want to emphasize academics so much he misses all of the things he won't be able to experience once he goes off to any college. </p>
<p>My H is from India, we are both intense about academics. Our son ended up being ahead and graduating from HS at a younger than typical age, a result of meeting his schooling needs at a young age. One question I asked myself was- are we letting him have a good childhood as well as trying to have him maximize his academic abilities? If, heaven forbid, he were to die tomorrow, would I feel he had a good life, not just one of preparing for the future? Fortunately I could say yes to both questions. He plans on math grad school, he was one of the majority of elite students who did not end up at the very top schools, but is likely to succeed in his goals. HIS goals, not ours. </p>
<p>Remember to value your son as a person first, a brain last. Also remember he is still maturing and is likely to put in the work in college. You do not want to be so controlling, put so much emphasis on "success" or perfectionism that he suffers dire consequences from too much pressure. We all want our children to be the best/do their best. We can't forget to let them have a good life as well.</p>