advice on how to get into ivy and prestigious schools?

<p>I am new to this forum and wondering what can my child do to improve his chances of entering an Ivy or prestigious college? He took 3 Honors classes and received an A and 2 B's. In all his other classes he received an A except for a B in Spanish. I am not sure if his grades are good enough. He has extracurricular activities in Music and Robotics. He has played Piano for 8 years, is in a band, and is in Honors Music extracurricular activities at school. For sports, he does Taekwondo and has a Second Degree black belt. He just completed 9th grade and is my oldest so this is the first time we are thinking about college.</p>

<p>I would look at the following book to give you an idea of the different strategies and paths when it comes to applying to Ivy or a prestigious college. There is no one way to get to where you want to go…these colleges look at more than just grades and test scores.</p>

<p>[Amazon.com:</a> How They Got into Harvard: 50 Successful Applicants Share 8 Key Strategies for Getting into the College of Your Choice (9780312343750): Staff of the Harvard Crimson: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/How-They-Got-into-Harvard/dp/0312343752/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1341644856&sr=1-1&keywords=how+they+got+into+harvard]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/How-They-Got-into-Harvard/dp/0312343752/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1341644856&sr=1-1&keywords=how+they+got+into+harvard)</p>

<p>These are stories of real kids and what they think worked for them. (Who knows what the admissions committee really thought was useful!)</p>

<p>Even now, you should be thinking of building your college list from the bottom up–looking for schools where your kid will be sure to get into, one you can afford and one that he wouldn’t mind (if not downright like) attending.</p>

<p>Improving his chances of attending an Ivy from 5% to 8% still means that he’s got a 92% chance of being rejected. So shoot for the stars but don’t set your heart on it.</p>

<p>I think you are focusing on the wrong side of the equation, especially since where you go to undergrad rarely makes any difference. Grad school is another story. </p>

<p>You need to be focusing on how to pay for college.</p>

<p>Not all career paths involve graduate school. If your undergraduate degree is your only degree, where it comes from is important.</p>

<p>No - what you do at college in the process of earning that degree is important. While the college can make a difference, the easily available metrics - eg, selectivity - play no role at all in the quality of the education, and a limited and minor one in income potential.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>I agree with this completely. It’s something that students should focus on, no matter where they go to college. A student’s choice of major, how well they do academically, and the other experiences they pick up along the way – internships, part-time jobs, extracurricular activities, leadership roles – can all make a big difference.</p>

<p>I don’t agree with your other point, annasdad, but I don’t think this thread is the place for that argument.</p>

<p>Agree or disagree, as you wish - can you cite any data to support your position?</p>

<p>sgazer,
There are some posters who will bore you with posts about why you should not pursue top schools for your child. If you wish to pursue the top schools, you are right to do so, and ignore the stuff from the posters for whom these schools were unattainable.</p>

<p>I think it is a little too early to be starting this kind of specific thinking about schools.</p>

<p>Why do you want an Ivy or “prestigious” school? Are you well-informed on other options? At this point, I think, as a parent, you can prepare by reading books on colleges. For starters, Loren Pope’s “Colleges that Change Lives” and “Beyond the Ivies.” There are many others on Amazon and in bookstores.</p>

<p>In year or so, you can expose your son to a few schools of different types, by visiting (after looking at websites perhaps, to choose where to do). For example, our family always started in the Amherst, MA area because there is a large public, small private and alternative college all within a few miles of each other. It is good to first decide on size, location (rural or urban) and vibe that your son might want, as well as the best programs for his interests.</p>

<p>Too much emphasis on admission to prestigious schools can create a lot of stress and pressure - and burnout. I think it is healthy to encourage your son to enjoy high school and use it to explore his interests. If he does that, he will end up at the right place for college.</p>

<p>And wait until he can have very active participation in choosing, if possible (I say “if possible” because a lot of boys are a little, errrr, slow in getting there). It will help your relationship.</p>

<p>Highly selective schools are great for some students though, especially if they love academic work. I will say, though, that the competitive stress tends to continue at Ivies etc., and mental health offices are very busy! </p>

<p>And admission is so uncertain for anyone, even with perfect grades and stats. </p>

<p>There are so many great schools out there, so as a parent, I think it helps to get to know them so that you can guide your child without too much focus on top schools, in case the odds work against him.</p>

<p>In other words, make sure he feels good about where he ends up, regardless of where he gets in. </p>

<p>And for now, help him focus on the present and not make everything about college admissions, if you can. It will all work out. Good luck!</p>

<p>p.s. some posters who appear to be discouraging your and your son from focusing on Ivies actually may have kids at Ivies</p>

<p>OP, I would agree with jym626. </p>

<p>No matter what fluke cases people can cite about kids with some unusual talent or hook, grades ARE important, and so far your son has too many Bs to have a realistic shot at the most selective schools for an unhooked student. (Unless he is going to an unusual HS where such grades would put him at the top of his class.) On the other hand, he is a freshman. If he turns almost all of those Bs into As for the next two years, he will be solidly positioned, at least as far as grades are concerned. He also needs to take all subjects at the honors or AP level where offered. He needs to take at least four years of a foreign language, the full science sequence, and calculus. He needs to show evidence of seeking out academic challenge. In addition, he needs to pursue ECs that he cares about, and if possible stand out in some way. Having some kind of leadership role is very helpful. Some kind of award/recognition at the state level would help. And, of course, he must get excellent standardized test scores, write a good essay, have excellent recommendations…</p>

<p>The real question is, is your kid the kind of kid who WANTS to take all of his classes at the highest level, who WANTS to seek out educational challenge, who WANTS to devote himself to one or more ECs? A kid who can take the most rigorous course load, maintain at least an A- average, and still have time for friends and activities and sleep 7 hours a night? If not, then he may not find a fit at an Ivy-like school. That would not mean that he isn’t a great kid and a good student. There are many truly excellent and yes, prestigious, schools where he would thrive. There are plenty of enormously talented kids who are not the type that certain schools are looking for.</p>

<p>Although I completely agree with the idea of encouraging one’s kid to do their best, and keeping an eye on things so as to position them to keep their options open going forward, from the perspective of someone whose kid just graduated from an Ivy (but certainly did not get into all to which he applied), one cannot make a kid into a type of person that he is not. One can only encourage him to be the fullest and best version of himself, and see where that takes him.</p>

<p>Cross-posted with compmom, with whom I agree in large part. I would suggest the book Admission Matters as one that takes admissions seriously without professing to be a “tip guide” for “getting into Harvard,” which I personally consider to be total BS.</p>

<p>compmom makes many very good points, but I think that as the parent of a rising 10th grader, it is approprite to be beginning to look into these matters, especially if you are aiming at top schools. As many have said, there are many excellent schools, and many will debate about what constitutes a “prestigious” school. That term will raise hair on the back of many people. Its best to look at schools that will offer your child the best educational opportunity you can afford, with excellent faculty in the area of his (likely) interests, which may include both academic and extracurricular activities.</p>

<p>Totally agree that its a great idea to look at big, small, rural, urban, university, LAC, etc to begin to get a feel for what he likes. If you are fortunate to be able to make “fit” a priority, then let him see what he likes, perhaps sometime during his 10th grade year (that is still a little early to visit, but not too early to plan ahead). Has he taken any courses on college campuses yet? Thats a start.</p>

<p>*** cross-posted with consolation</p>

<p>If you want to “begin with the end in mind,” you may find it useful to peruse the threads that are started on the individual college forum pages on this site each spring, when acceptances and rejections are received.</p>

<p>Many students very generously provide a detailed list of their credentials, and you can see what admitted students brought to the table. For the most part, it seems as if the accepted students at the most selective and “prestigious” colleges are very, very accomplished young people. They have taken on very challenging academic workloads and excelled; they have made impressive contributions to organizations within and beyond their school communities. </p>

<p>You will also see, for the most selective schools, that what the students who were not admitted brought to the table is often equally impressive.</p>

<p>I found these threads to be a helpful reality check for determining where my kid might have a shot at admission. They go well beyond the GPA and test score statistics that are available on College Board. </p>

<p>If your child’s goal is to attend a school with this level of selectivity, it could be helpful to know where the bar is.</p>

<p>Productive use of one’s personal time is important to amassing these types of credentials. My impression is that most of the applicants who wind up in these very selective schools choose to spend their time productively because they are self-motivated, very engaged in the pursuit of excellence inside and outside the classroom, and find these experiences rewarding for their own sake, not just for populating the spaces in a college application.</p>

<p>Frankly, these kids just wow me.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Agree with all Consolation advises that would solidly position your S in his applications to highly selective colleges. That’s really all you can do. Just realize that scads of solidly positioned kids every year apply to these colleges…a lot more kids than available openings.</p>

<p>There are just a lot of moving pieces when it comes to an application…grades, test scores, ECs that you push to the limit in school and out of school, essays, recommendations, summer programs if available, etc. For example, SAT scores can be a real reality check. Until you get those SAT scores at the end of junior year, you really don’t know if you are in the hunt.</p>

<p>What does your son want? Is he even thinking about college yet? I’d encourage him to do his best for this reason alone: the better grades he makes, the more options he’ll have. Then he can choose the direction that he wants to go, within the financial parameters that you give him. Don’t set the expectation that he should go to a “top” school. You don’t want him beating himself up in several years over a few ninth grade Bs. Enjoy the years you have with him at home, and enjoy the person he is and wants to become.</p>

<p>My 2 cents is that parents should not be picking out the kind of college their child will attend any more than they should pick out the person they will marry or their career. Give your child a lot of space and support and avoid living your dreams through him.</p>

<p>My 2 cents is that most kids need guidance and suggestions about this as they do about most other things at the age of 16 or 17, and that providing both does not constitute “living your dreams through him.” I know people who had little or no guidance form their parents, and ended up cycling through 3 inappropriate schools, with long term effect on career and so forth.</p>

<p>Make sure your son takes only honors and AP for core classes and gets all "A"s in the rest of his HAS years. (Then, let him focus on whatever he likes the most for one and let him try anything he like to do for EC. Just let him have fun.)</p>

<p>Nothing is too early. Your inaction now may close his chance to Ivy schools. The decision whether he is going to apply to Ivy schools is few years later. Your support to your son now is not the same as picking his schools to apply at all.</p>

<p>OP, agreeing with other posters that this is your son’s process, and especially to enjoy him while he’s home! I’m weighing in because I might have started a thread like this if I had found this site at the end of my son’s 9th grade - but as you can see from the posts here, just asking the question is controversial. (So you know my perspective, my son has just finished his first year at an Ivy and absolutely loved it.)</p>

<p>Maybe, like me, you will be shocked to find what a complicated process applying to college has become, and it has to start with a realistic evaluation of what your family can afford and making sure your son knows that.</p>

<p>That said, I would make two specific suggestions for 10th grade: encourage him to take the PSATs, even though the scores won’t count yet for National Merit, and encourage him, if possible, to take a class that will let him take an SAT II and AP test at the end of 10th grade (my son took World History AP). </p>

<p>Those things, and his GPA, would help give you a realistic basis for a college list by this time next year.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>And I know kids who went where mommy and daddy wanted them to go, sometimes under the coercion that it was the only place they would pay for - and were miserable. Including a friend of my D’s who wanted to go to our state flagship but wound up at MIT because of daddy - and left after one semester.</p>

<p>snarlatron, I am not trying to live my dreams through him. I already attended my top choice for college. I am trying to help him as much as possible. I am not pushing him to a particular college, he has asked me for the help. Why do you jump to the assumption that I am pushing him to do something he does not want? He has asked for my guidance and I am trying to be a supportive parent by helping as much as I can.</p>