I am currently a freshman in college, and I go to a school about 2.5 hours away from home. Growing up I was always a homebody, never liked spending the night at friend’s houses or going away on trips without my parents, I just really enjoyed being at home. For some reason though, I decided to go to a college 2.5 hours away from home, and I was surprisingly excited. The whole summer before I moved into my dorm I was excited to make new friends, and see what college life was like. I started to have trouble breathing the last few weeks before move in day, but I just chalked it up to nerves and went on. Move in day was rough, as I expected, I’m extremely close with my family so I saw it coming. The first two weeks were a whirlwind, and I loved every minute of it. Then I went home for Labor Day weekend, and I kind of dreaded coming back. It felt like I was just away on vacation, and like I didn’t have to go back. It got continuously worse as the semester went on. My best friend goes here with me, but she has a boyfriend that goes to a different school so she’s with him a lot. I’ve become good friends with the guys that live next door to me also, but even when I’m with them I still feel alone and want to be home with my family. Everytime I’ve gone home I’ve had an emotional breakdown before I’ve gone back, and going back after winter break was the worst. I cried for two weeks, so hard that I would throw up, I had hives covering my neck, all from just thinking about having to go back. My parents want me to come home, they worry about me a lot. I can’t decide if I should though, I already signed a lease for an apartment next year, and I feel like I might regret it. The thought of having to be here and be miserable here for another 3 years makes me physically sick. I feel like I’m hurting myself by being here, and I feel bad that my parents are spending all this money for me to go here when I’m completely miserable! I am so confused, please help! Sorry this was so long too!
I’m looking for advice fast because I having this huge decision looming over me is killing me, help please!!!
My sister was the same way her first year when she went to an out of state school. Yet, looking back on it now she admits she never really put herself out there and gave it a chance. the next year she tried really hard to put herself out there and made a ton of friends and had a great time. While you’re there, try putting yourself out there and going outside of your box. It could be chance to find your independence and discover yourself. Maybe put the thought of leaving out of your head for a while and focus on enjoying yourself. Though in the end, this is very personal choice that you may need to do some soul searching on.
I should also say that there is no shame in moving closer to home. If thats what you feel you need to do then do it. It’s not worth if you are just going to keep being miserable.
So don’t think about three years. Think about the near future. You are getting older and you are going to do more and more adult things. I have a different view than many others, but 2.5 hours is hardly any time at all. What were you doing 2.5 hours ago? If you like your school and you like your friends, I think you have to allow yourself time to mature and grow into your school. If the only advantage to moving closer to home is that it’s closer to home, I don’t think that is a compelling reason for breaking a lease, starting over, making new friends, and so on.
What are your long term goals? Will transferring help you achieve them? If not, then stay put and continue to do well.
Transfer. Don’t even think twice about it. Find the college where you will be happy.
I just finished my first semester at a college that I do not enjoy attending. I picked this school with the intent of transfering to thr school I actually wanted to go to after two years. I did this because I want to go to dental school and need a good GPA, and the school I’m attending is easier, so I’m using in to build a solid base GPA before I go to the school actually want to go to.
I thought my idea was great, and it has been academically (3.9 GPA), but socially I’m miserable and regret not going to the school I actually wanted to go to. By the time I do Transfer junior year (they only admit junior transfers) I will have missed two years of prime social experience, and can never get that back.
I know everyone here is saying hat that you just need to find friends, but certain colleges attract certain kinds of people, and if you aren’t the typical kind of person the college attracts, finding friends is tough. I go to a school where people don’t take academics seriously, and I can’t have intelligent conversations usually, I don’t fit in with the norm here. Find the school where you are the norm and you’ll find friends.
Please don’t become what I have become.
Transfer. Don’t even think twice about it. Find the college where you will be happy.
I just finished my first semester at a college that I do not enjoy attending. I picked this school with the intent of transfering to thr school I actually wanted to go to after two years. I did this because I want to go to dental school and need a good GPA, and the school I’m attending is easier, so I’m using in to build a solid base GPA before I go to the school actually want to go to.
I thought my idea was great, and it has been academically (3.9 GPA), but socially I’m miserable and regret not going to the school I actually wanted to go to. By the time I do Transfer junior year (they only admit junior transfers) I will have missed two years of prime social experience, and can never get that back.
I know everyone here is saying hat that you just need to find friends, but certain colleges attract certain kinds of people, and if you aren’t the typical kind of person the college attracts, finding friends is tough. I go to a school where people don’t take academics seriously, and I can’t have intelligent conversations usually, I don’t fit in with the norm here. Find the school where you are the norm and you’ll find friends.
Please don’t become what I have become.