I chose this particular university I’m at currently because 1.) it’s Christian and 2.) it has an animation degree. I do enjoy animation, but I’m not sure if I love it, or at least not yet. As stressful as my final project for that class last semester was, I enjoyed seeing the final outcome. Anyway, I have developed an affinity for photography and photoshop this semester, since I’ve been taking digital art. I oddly enjoy it and have been thinking about changing my degree to graphic design. The problem is, I’ve always had this dream of working for Disney or Dreamworks, or even starting my own cartoon, and I would love to work up to that.
My BIGGEST problem is this school, though. First, it’s about five hours away from home, and I don’t have my car this semester. Second, I have literally no friends. This is mostly my fault, as I struggle with a lot of anxiety, and have kind of isolated myself. But now I’m trapped in this constant loop of “I don’t have friends so I’ll be by myself” which only makes the situation worse. I really have been trying to connect with people and have joined an intramural volleyball team, but still, I find myself having trouble connecting, especially since my mental state is not very good right now, further exacerbating the problem (my anxiety gets bad and it turns into depression and it’s a lot of different things piling into one huge mess).
I also just hate the dynamic of this school. There aren’t many events to go to, and when there are, they’re not very good about getting the word around. I’m constantly in my dorm, alone with my own thoughts, which does NOT help my anxiety or depression.
So here is my dilemma- I really want to stay and get a degree in animation, but this school year has been such a nightmare and I don’t even want to think of going here another three years. There’s a Christian University about 15 minutes from where I live that has a graphic design major, so I was thinking about doing that and just teaching myself animation (which is basically what I did last semester, with a few tips from the professor. I repeatedly told myself “I could be at home just practicing this without going to college”. I’m also very homesick and would LOVE to be back home and reconnect with family and friends there. I’m just scared that I’m making this decision solely based on my current mental state because I was fine last semester just keeping to myself and getting work done, writing music, and doing art. Something must have snapped. I don’t know. I’m definitely going through a bit of an identity crisis.
I’m just really at a loss. I just sent my transcripts to the other college and am patiently awaiting to see if the credits transfer, but I constantly have this stress in the back of my mind. Not much is keeping me here except for the cost (it’s pretty inexpensive) and the animation degree. Any tips on making stressful decisions like this? I really just don’t want to do something I’ll regret… Thank you.