To Transfer or Not to Transfer?

Transfer Students
1

Im in a bit of a sticky situation at the moment. I can’t decide whether I should transfer. So let’s just start with the school I’m at. I’m currently attending a private liberal arts college. I was so excited to go here before, but now that I’ve been here for a semester, I think there are more bad than goods things about this school for me. The pros of the school is that it is known as a very good institution with an amazing reputation. The professors and classes here are very good and I know I would be getting an amazing education here. The campus is beautiful. I have one really good friend and a few other pretty close friends, however my social life is anything but exciting. I often feel left out and like I don’t have any great friends. Everyone here is kind of cliquey and formed their friend groups within a few weeks. I also do not drink or party and to my surprise, the party culture here is very big. Everyone here parties from Wed/Thurs throughout the weekend, which is also another reason why I’ve had trouble finding a friend group. Some of the people here are depressed because of how difficult and crazy the classes are. I haven’t really found any activities that I’m passionate about or interest me at all. It’s is the northeast, and I thought I loved snow, but I’m not particularly fond of the cold weather they have here. But the thing is I wanted to come here so bad, I am over 15 hours away from home, and I basically had to beg my dad for me to go here. I was pretty unhappy my first semester, and was not really super excited to come back except for being away from my parents. My parents think I love it here though, and some aspects of it I do love. I’m not miserable, but I do think there might be another school out there that is a better fit for me. I briefly thought about transferring throughout last semester, but I didn’t seriously consider it because I didn’t think of it as a legitimate option.

Now there’s the other side of the story. I have a boyfriend. We have been together for almost 2 years, and we are pretty sure we are gonna marry each other someday. I love him a lot… And then I had this idea. I thought since I’m already not super happy at my school, that it would be a good idea to transfer, but then I thought I could kill two birds with one stone by going to either his school or a school near him. He goes to school in the south, and I think it is absolutely beautiful down there. I’ve looked at one school in particular because it is the most affordable option (I don’t have a lot of money) and I does happen to be the school he attends. The more I look at it, the more I like it. I love the area. It has more options for potential majors I could be interested in, and obviously, it is closer to him so that is a huge plus. Looking at it, I’m pretty certain that I would be happy here even if things don’t work out between us in the end, though I don’t anticipate that. However, I’m not sure if I should do it because I am getting a pretty good scholarship here and not that this new school is a bad school by any means, but it isn’t as good as the school I’m at now. I’m afraid I would be throwing away an opportunity here, but I also feel this place just isn’t right for me.

Please help!

2

You should definitely make sure you actually want the school for reasons besides your bf. People break-up.

3

I would think about the long-term (excluding your boyfriend) regarding your future major/career, affordability/finances, etc. Your feelings about your friendships are common among first-year students and sometimes making friends as a transfer is harder than making friends freshmen year. Also, regardless of where you go party culture will most likely be a dominant factor (especially SEC/big southern schools). Talking about your situation with your parents would probably help you gain some valuable and more personal insight. Overall, I think you have determine if what you would gain (educationally, socially, etc.) from transferring is worth the education, friendships and opportunities you have now at your current school. Best of luck!!

4

Your situation is mostly sticky because you are making it sticky. All you have to do is convince your parents that you are even more sure that the new school is the right place for you this year than you were certain that your current school was the right one last year- and it is just an amazing coincidence that your boyfriend happens to go there. Speaking as a parent with kids your age, good luck with that.

You went north, boyfriend went south and all of the things that are not perfect about this school suddenly look perfect at his school. Coming back after the holiday break (when, presumably, you had time with your bf), it is no surprise that you ‘had an idea’ that you could solve all your problems by going and being with him. And the more you focus on moving to be with him the less you try to make where you are work.

Fwiw, if you are getting any form of merit aid, the new school is almost certain to be more expensive, possibly prohibitively so.

5

It actually isn’t that easy for me. I’m not happy here. I’m not involved in any activities that I truly enjoy. All I do is work. I barely have a social life. I have one friend yes, but she’s honestly the only thing that would keep me here. But I was so set on coming here before and I almost had to beg my dad to let me go here, and my dad is extremely intimidating. Im terrified of what he would say if I said I was transferring at all, let alone to a school that isn’t private or as highly ranked. He was so excited for me to go here, and I just don’t know what to do. So this is a hard decision for me to tell him, and FYI I’m not going to the school just for my boyfriend. I’ve been wanting to switch to marketing or advertising as a major, and they have a great business school, while my current school has no business areas besides econ. The school is beautiful. I’ve also looked at other schools (like Emory) that I’m considering applying to as a transfer, which is a school that I considered even before going here. I know you’re trying to help, but I’m not making my situation sticky. It just is okay. I’ve wanted to transfer but my dad is very strict and I don’t know how I would even begin to tell him.

6

Why not ask for his opinion?

What would he do if he wants to switch to advertising or marketing and why.

If he pushes back against those majors, against ask him why.

Then assemble data to support your case.