Normally, I am not skeptical but on this OP I am. There are inconsistencies:
“All was good until a few weeks ago when my family suddenly had a big financial drain.”
“my parents already filed an appeal but were denied. They technically have the money, but they didn’t specifically set it aside for college/it’s other savings so won’t spend it.”
As for “my parents just want time to “move stuff around” financially” 5 months before tuition is due is plenty of time. Since “all was good until a few weeks ago” it was probably an ED decision so they’ve had the benefit of a few extra months to move things around.
Apologies to OP if this is a legitimate story but it is just not adding up.
I don’t care if people think my question is fake. My parents are complete control freaks. They will not take out any loans. They did not completely become broke, but had to use my college money for something else- I have a feeling an investment went bad. I don’t know. Heck for all I know they lied to me about the whole thing. I’m just conveying my situation based on what they have told me. I’m sorry if this comes across as “fake”. I know it is hard to fathom having money+assets and still not being able to afford college but I just don’t know what to say to that. They have told me they no longer have the money this year to spend on college. So that’s that. They said they will have it in 2018. Again I apologize if people think I am pulling their leg, I just really need some advice. Clearly my parents are lunatics, and from what other people are saying maybe pathological liars…but I just need advice! I plan to call the college next week to “confirm” that my parents actually withdrew my app.
Yes, calling the college is a good first move. Don’t ask if your parent actually withdrew your acceptance (or your app? Weren’t you admitted?) Ask what your status is. Neutral. If you’re told you withdrew, say you didn’t, you know your mother made a phone call but you never authorized it, etc.
Look, I wouldn’t trust your parents on this, so next steps are
1° take them to their word: they’ll have the money next year. So, defer. Don’t enroll anywhere, earn money. Start investigating which places would pay best.
2° don’t trust that the money’ll be there, so retake the ACT in April (some schools will only accept it if you took it before graduation) and try to score higher than you already did. With a 33, you get a shot at McDermott for example, all expenses paid full ride at a strong STEM university.
This way, you save your spot at the university in case your parents come through next year, but you don’t shoot your chances at a good program somewhere.
@run6457 Take a GAP year NOW. I guess you are dependent on your parents to fund your college education unless you can get full ride some where. You should widen your range of colleges beyond most selective schools/Ivies next year. Start a donation drive for your college fund NOW. You may need it next year. It does not take 5 months to convert liquid assets to cash for tuition. Are you for REAL ?
I always wonder what parents like this say to their friends? Oh, she was accepted at A, B, and C… but we decided not to pay for it so she’s taking a gap year to try and figure out what to do?
What kinds of friends don’t know their friends have kids? Don’t they ever come over??
Anyway… you’ll need to apply to dozens of automatic and competitive full ride/full tuition programs. Basically, if they can pay you have the school you got deferred from (will get deferred from once the withdrawn mix up is cleared) and if not you’ll have a few full ride options, but out of 15 you apply to there may only be 2 or 3 that come through for you. It’ll keep you very busy.
No, they don’t come over. They work in a hospital and are very “private”. For some reason I get the the impression that having kids is considered to be some sort of weakness. I don’t know. All I know is that my parents don’t allude to having kids, or if they did they don’t ever talk about us. @MYOS1634
we are the type of family where the kids were basically raised by nannies. Saw the parents on the weekends for dinner, went on trips with my parents + nanny so never actually saw them on vacation. That sort of thing. My parents are good people, but I don't think kids were ever part of the plan.
Wow, they’re physicians and didn’t “plan” on having kids? My parents are good people, but I don’t think kids were ever part of the plan. Not to disparage you but, a quick run to the “Gyno” would have solved that.
Are you for REAL ? We KNOW people who work in hospitals/healthcare fields and who talk about kids and mingle all the time. They come home everyday NOT on weekends only. All this is very unreal.
Maybe OP is an international student. So things are the not the same overseas?
Or maybe OP is a second generation American. Their parents do thing a little bit differently. NO disrespect to any immigrants but they may not think exactly the same way as a CC parent would envisage about their kid’s college education.
I’m sorry this has happened to you – to get into a school you like and have your well-off parents pull the rug out from under you. “Oops, never mind, we’re not paying for it.”
I think the best advice, as others have given, is:
Call the school you were admitted to and ask if your spot can be saved for next year. Tell them you will not take any classes until you begin as a student with them.
Take a gap year. Do not take any classes from any college – LAC, university, CC, whatever.
Discuss with your parents what they will be willing to pay in one year’s time (and the years following).
If they can help you enough to pay for the school that accepted you – and that school did reserve your spot – then, great. If not, based on how much your parents are willing to pay – run NPC to see if your folks’ money + $5.5k in loans per year and summer job cash can cover the cost at a school before applying – form a list of schools you like and can afford. You might consider looking into schools that offer full rides or substantial scholarships (like full tuition) to kids with qualifying stats.
This sucks, frankly, but you can benefit from it because it’s going to make you work to figure out some things. You’ve already learned a couple of hard lessons:
Talk is cheap
Even those we look up to can let us down
If you’re not too happy with your parents right now, that’s understandable, but try to forgive them – first, because they are your family, and family members shouldn’t harbor anger or resentment for one another; and second, because as a practical matter you still need to ask them for help, probably, and that’s hard to do if you are swallowing your anger/resentment every time you talk to them.
If your parents are, as you said, both ivy educated and are, apparently, physicians, then one might think they’d hope for an equally strong education for their kid (s). After calling the school and getting your application deferred, look into what it might take to be independent of them (live elsewhere, earn your own $, pay your own taxes, etc) so you may have other options of they flake out on you again re: college tuition.
Tell your parents you’re joining the Army. They may freak out and decide to pay for college.
I can actually relate. My family was fairly well off, but my father refused to pay for my college. I ended up joining the Air Force for four years to get able to get money to go to college, along with some student loans from the state of Alaska. money from part-time work, and a yearly payout from the Alaska Permanent Fund that went directly into school tuition.
