Carnegie Mellon Essay, care to read?

College Essays
1

<p>I think I've reached the first draft of my Carnegie Mellon Essay.
There are still many things I don't like about it, but I'm stuck.
I need outward opinions. Would anyone care to help me out and give it a read-through?</p>

<p>I must say, though, no '08 graduates, if you would.</p>

2

<p>I'll give it a read. pm me. 09 grad just so you know.</p>

3

<p>i'll read it... pm me or email me at <a href="mailto:angelmonicaw@yahoo.com">angelmonicaw@yahoo.com</a></p>

4

<p>You can send it to me, already got accepted into MIT, although I'm '08, don't have to worry about me stealing it ;)</p>

5

<p>ill read it</p>

6

<p>i can read it.</p>

7

<p>ill read it. im super bored.</p>

8

<p>sure PM it to me..</p>

9

<p>Oh cool man i am applying Carnegie Mellon as well. We should really discuss about it! PM me. I am gavin.</p>