<p>I agree with Violadad's advice. If music is her passion, try and get her the best teachers, summer and EC programs available, and any opportunities to play at a high level. The teacher is the most important choice, and I liken it to choosing a doctor. The right teacher for your D might not be the "best" teacher by reputation, but the one who suits your D's learning style and needs. In the NYC area, there would be no shortage of excellent teachers, which might make the task of interviewing them/having sample lessons, a little more time-consuming. Obviously, a pre-college program will settle that. Things to consider (1) teacher's reputation, (2) success of previous students, (3) how selective the teacher is before he/she accepts your D, (4) teaching style, etc. I believe someone posted on how to select a teacher. </p>
<p>To have a career as a professional musician or to attend a conservatory level program, it really does need to be "all music all the time." The student has to live, breathe, sleep music. Practice for such a student is pleasure in itself and not something they have to be forced to do. But this will reveal itself as more opportunities are presented to her. And there are many other paths open to serious, passionate musicians who may not be conservatory-level players. </p>
<p>One of the best things you can do (with help from your D's teacher) is to encourage her to be self aware in a positive way (what are her goals? what kind of sound does she want to have? in what ways does she want to improve as a musician? how does she compare to her peers in ability? what is she willing to do to attain her goals?). I think this is the quality (and I can't take credit for any of it) that our S has that is serving him well in his conservatory studies. Although I think he is a little too self-critical, he has always been very aware of his own sound, what he wants to achieve, his strengths and weaknesses, his ability relative to others. Comments from teachers and others are reinforcement of what he already thinks, but he does not depend on them. A professional musician (or any performing artist) needs to do it for the right reasons (passion and because they can't imagine doing anything else) and have a inner core of toughness to be able to handle the stress of auditions and rejection. This is much easier to achieve if you are clear in your own mind about what you want and where you are musically. You can't control others' reactions.</p>
<p>Even if you are not musical yourself, you will find much useful information on cc that can help you formulate the kinds of questions and discussions that will be helpful to your D. I came to the belief early on that S knew what he was doing (even at 14) and I did not have to prod, hover, or oversee things (all right, the college applications). H & I provided encouragement, constructive praise (he did not want the usual parental pat on the back--"it was all wonderful"--and would get frustrated with me if I did so--I truly did think it was all wonderful!), and paid for lessons, instruments and equipment. </p>
<p>Good luck and congratulations on being proactive in supporting your D. I have heard of so many cases where parents think music study is a waste of time as far as a career is concerned. That is not the case among cc parents.</p>