Hello! I’m a 9th grade student at a public high school applying to multiple private schools in Massachusetts. I’m applying to Phillips Academy Andover, Phillips Academy Exeter, Groton Academy, Milton Academy, Concord Academy, Boston University Academy, Commonwealth School, The Governor’s Academy, Thayer Academy, and Deerfield Academy. I recently decided to apply to Commonwealth, Governor’s and Thayer as safeties. I added Deerfield so I could have more options. This is also my first time using College Confidential. Andover and Exeter were my first choices, but I visited BUA and liked it more. Also, BUA is one of the only schools I would be a day student at. I’ve left a pretty good impression on BUA and Exeter, however I started crying during my interview with Andover upon finding out I would have to be a boarding student, and my interviewer made the relation that the sacrifice my parents made to come to the U.S illegally was similar to me being a boarding student and how I would have to make that sacrifice. I don’t see the similarity between the two, because my parents left their country because of endangerment, which isn’t the same thing as me going to boarding school. I’ll be taking the SSAT soon, but I usually score a bit below the 90th percentile with standardized testing, so I’m not too confident. Also, I don’t come from much so I would need generous financial aid. Could you please chance me? I haven’t won many awards, but with all my heart, I want to go to BUA. My current school environment isn’t the best with numerous fights occurring often. I’m also slightly buddy-buddy with someone on the admission team. However, BUA only has 1-4 spots available for 10th grade, and I’m very worried about my chance of acceptance. Since the start of middle school, I’ve always maintained high grades with my lowest being an A that I received twice. Other than that, I’ve always gotten an A+ in everything.
These are my interests, extracurriculars, and achievements:
I was elected for Vice President of the Class of 2026 at my current high school
I was awarded the Valedictorian Award at my middle school
I have 3 years of experience with playing the violin
I have been on a city wide leadership team for the past 3 years called SPF100. We strive to prevent youth substance use within our community. We have given presentations to Patricia D. Jehlen, Massachusetts State Senator, and worked with other government officials on this topic.
I was accepted to join a Statewide Leadership Team for an organization called The 84! We have similar goals as SPF 100, but to a larger degree. We host, plan, and create events such as Kick Butt’s Day and Youth Power Summit. Along with that, we work with government officials at the Massachusetts State House.
I was nominated for Crimson Summer Academy, a rigorous and selective boarding summer program with Harvard. An automatic acceptance to Harvard’s Summer Program is included with this.
I was nominated for SMASH Academy with Northeastern University.
I was nominated and accepted into MIT PRIMES Circle, a competitive mathematics program with Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
Due to my current involvement with mathematics through the Art of Problem Solving, I will be able to take Calculus next year, or at least have the appropriate knowledge for this subject.
I was accepted into a programming and computer science program called Inspirit AI where I am currently working on a project on Skin Cancer. My mentors are Ivy League and MIT Alumni.
At a class at MIT, I was able to work on a project identifying Cancerous Cells through creating my own computer program.
I am part of the Debate Team at my current school and I won the second Boston Debate League Tournament.
I have been doing community service for the past 3 years and I’m a part of the Community Service Club at my school. I have an estimated 150+ hours of total work put into community service.
I have 2 years of Chorus and singing experience.
I have 10 years of experience with rollerblading and have even given lessons to others, such as strangers, on how to skate. The type of skating I do is called Slalom Inline Skating, which is an extremely competitive performance sport.
I have 6 years of experience with figure skating.
I have assisted my city’s current mayor with her campaigning work. This includes being in an interview video for her along with being included in her campaign photos.
I am part of the cast at my school’s Theater Program and have 2 years of theater experience.
I have 2 years of Volleyball experience
I am on the Robotics Team at my current high school
I am part of a Non-Profit organization called Dear Asian Youth. We strive to uplift Asian Communities through education, activism, and celebration.
I have 2 years of experience with playing the Flute
At my middle school, I accomplished starting a Social Justice Club which I was the president of for the 3 years I was there before high school.
I have 2 years of Basketball experience
I am part of the Non-profit organization called Best Buddies, where we are dedicated to ending the social, physical, and economic isolation of the 200 million people with intellectual and developmental disabilities.
I have 3 years of experience with learning Spanish and scored advanced on the STAMP and APPLE test.
I am elected onto my school’s Student Advisory Council, where we work directly with administration and the Superintendent on policies, systems, and more.
A more personal achievement of mine is that I beat Social Anxiety. For 3 years I struggled with being able to speak and talk to others. I was able to overcome this just recently, an accomplishment I am extremely proud of.
Please chance me. Do I have a shot with these schools, especially BUA?
I don’t know if I can chance you, but you seem like a good applicant. It would easier to assess this post if you could separate your EC’s into different categories and elaborate on your positions, involvement, awards, etc. That makes it easier to see it the way the admissions committee would see it on paper.
And anyone, correct me if I’m wrong but I feel like you shouldn’t list extracurricular activities that haven’t been at least developed or there is nothing really behind them. That’s the vibe I’m getting from some of the 2 year extracurriculars, but please correct me if I’m wrong.
Also I don’t know whether Andover would be the best fit for you especially if you’re not keen on being a boarder.
I don’t chance, because I can’t, but I want to say that you are a talented and intelligent kid, with drive. These traits mean you will go far in life! You are going to do great things!
Just to make note, Exeter is in New Hampshire and not Massachusetts. Not at all sure where you live, but with your list, the distance between some of these schools would put MANY out of reach of you being a day student. Deerfield alone is 2 hrs from Thayer! To be a day student you typically have to live in certain towns which are fairly close to the school. The amount of time spent on campus 5, 6, 7 days a week is not conducive to someone who lives an hour away with no traffic, add traffic and you are going to be spending upwards of 3 hrs in the car everyday…and someone likely has to drive you. These schools do not cancel for weather like your public or general private schools do, the reason being is they consist mostly of students who can walk to class in any weather. Yes they make exceptions for day students needing to drive in really bad weather, but most will get to school on what would typically be a snow day for a regular school. When you need to be at school from 7am to 8pm, you do not want an hour drive to get there, no one wants to drive you an hour to school to turn around and go an hour home just to repeat again at night. This is why Andover requires you to be a boarder based on what your zipcode is. I’m not sure why it was a shock during the interview that you would have to be a boarder, their website, as do the other schools’, lists exactly which towns you can live in to be a day student. All the rest must be boarders.
Sorry about that! The shocking part with Andover is that I actually only live 20 minutes away. At the other schools, I would be a boarding student except BUA, Commonwealth, and some others. I just found that a bit strange that if you live in Wilmington Massachusetts, you can apply as a day student, but not my city.
I mentioned this, but the interviewer had asked me about my family life, and when I stopped sharing, he asked for more. I told him about how my family came to the U.S illegally, and how it was my grandparents who came here first. At the time, my dad couldn’t come to the country, so he was left alone with his younger sister for 7 years. After that, I talked about his bipolar disorder and suicide note. He stated that I would have to make sacrifices to attend Andover, one of them being a boarder, just like how my family made sacrifices to come here. However, being a boarding student is nothing like leaving a country where you’re drowning in destruction and poverty, so it just felt insensitive. He said that if my family loved me, they’d be happy to see me go. I was mostly sad about talking about my father’s suicide note and Bipolar Disorder, something the interviewer had initially asked me to talk more about. The part of me being a boarding school student just added to it.
I’m so sorry that you had to go through that and I completely agree that that statement was insensitive. Are you still considering Andover despite what he said?
To be honest, I don’t want to, but I am. If I get the chance to go there, I might. However, I’m definitely leaning more towards BUA because I would be a day student. I always wanted to go to Andover, but after the interview and attending multiple events, it doesn’t seem like the right fit. I have 2 friends who go there, and someone I know applied, but was wait-listed (despite being in the Junior Olympics).
Not having been a part of the conversation of course, and with how much this interaction upset you, perhaps you should consider withdrawing your application. The encounter seems to have given you a seemingly visceral response to the school’s requirement and the interviewer’s analogy.
We live right across the street from our town line that separates us from a school’s demarcation of ONLY day student and choice of day or boarding student. So my child has the choice, but his friend across the road has none. We would drive the same way to school (in fact he has to pass our house on the drive because driving through his town would add another 20 min!) and we could hit his house with a rock that is how close he is. The students on the other side of his friend’s town are far closer to the school because of the way the town is laid out. But they live in a day student only town and we live in a choice town. Whatever the reason be it is. There are other required boarding towns that are closer from some points in their town than we are, but again, the school designated which towns fall into what groups and they explicitly explain this on their website so it shouldn’t have been a shock to hear you’d be required to be a boarder.
Did you previously ask for special permission to bypass this requirement? If that is the case, I would be sure that person is aware of the confusion and makes it clear to the committee reviewing your application. If not, I would certainly rethink applying there. Your interviewer might be skeptical at this point of perhaps your maturity, perhaps inability to be prepared with knowledge about the school that is readily available on the website and application portal, perhaps whether you’d be a candidate who thinks rules don’t apply to them. These are all things that could throw red flags on your application. Again I say may and could, we won’t ever know, but you have to admit that being unprepared for this piece of information is solely your responsibility. The interviewer may simply have been trying to make conversation in an awkward moment when you started crying when you were unprepared. They tried to use a piece of your life and story to connect with you which did not resonate with you but had you done your due diligence and knew you had to be a boarder, that conversation would never have come up.
It is perfectly ok to say, “nah, I don’t want to go there anymore” for whatever the reason. Many kids think they found the best school then visit and say eww for whatever reason, and that’s ok! If it hit a sour note with you that’s reason enough. You’ve got a lot of schools on your list that you should put your effort into, don’t waste effort on a school that you feel doesn’t understand you.
The interviewer doesn’t decide whether you should be a day student or a boarder. She also is not all PA has to offer. Don’t let one person be the only reason you want to go or not, be it an AO, interviewer, tour guide or a friend. You make the call.
Andover has traditionally been a school for students that are independent and are able to take care of themselves, more so than other schools. That being said, if you are crying over the prospect of being a boarder, you need to do some self reflection and decide if Andover (or any boarding school) is right for you. It is okay to not be ready. I’m not saying you aren’t, but if you don’t think you’re ready yet, reconsider your options.
From personal experience: listen to your gut. It may be what you want right now, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be what’s best for you in the long run.
My understanding from OP’s post was that this student was upset because of the way this particular AO handled and compared a traumatic family history to going to boarding school. I think OP is applying to several boarding schools and understands full well that s/he would be moving away. And OP can correct me if I’m wrong, but I read that s/he felt that this AO compared the hardship/trauma/threat to personal safety experienced by family as somehow comparable to going to away to school. They aren’t.
For me as a parent, insensitivity around what is clearly family trauma, especially when talking with a child, would raise a red flag for me no matter how prestigious the school. Yes, I went to a GLADCHEMMS school myself (and loved it - no bones to pick here), and I’m well aware of how challenging and competitive that environment is, how many qualified applicants want to go to these schools, whether kids are ready for the grind, etc., but that doesn’t mean we walk away from decency and compassion when kids share troubling personal experiences. We adults (AOs too) are talking to kids after all, no matter how elite the school they want to attend or how qualified they may be.
OP, I agree with those that say you make the call about the right place for you. Picking a school is about more than the name. You sound like a really interesting person with diverse experiences and interests. You have lots to offer the school that will be the right fit for you!
Thank you for this! Yeah, I’m still a kid and boarding school is a huge decision. I was more sad about the comparison the AO made. Plus, the school I go to will most likely dictate where my sister goes as well. She has to have weekly checkups due to a huge potential cancer risk and anorexia, so a boarding school environment would not be the best. Also, for all I know I may not have a ton of time left with my dad, so a school like BUA would be the best choice. Thank you for the empathy. I have to go through the application process alone because my parents are extremely busy, so any help is appreciated.
You have a LOT on your plate. As I said upthread, you sound like you have the tenacity and resilience to succeed, whatever your path turns out to be.
I also agree with @Longview43’s take on the AO. And I’d add that some CC posters don’t seem to realize they aren’t talking to another adult, but a possibly vulnerable 13 year old child. I hope you won’t let some of the replies you’ve gotten here bother you.
However, I emailed one of the admission officers who said that most students are accepted for 9th grade, but for 10th grade, they have 1-4 spots open. Many students do not apply for 10th grade, so the process would be less competitive. What do you think? During the tour I was at, there were only 2 other families present. However, the friend of mine who attends BUA is a genius scoring in the 99th percentile for standardized testing. Plus, he’s taking Calculus as a freshman. My math skills aren’t too bad, and with the path I’m on, I would be taking Calculus next year, or at least Pre-Calc.
If the admissions rate is 60% then probably not that many 10th graders even apply. You should ask the AO how many 10th graders applied last year. Otherwise, I feel like you have a very good chance. I wish you all the luck!