I am now choosing between Choate and Exeter and the deadline is sooooo soon. Please give me some advice. I am interested in science, visual art, and field hockey. I really like how Exeter uses Harkness for all classes, and at the same time, really liked the atmosphere at Choate. the field hockey coach at Choate also really wants me to come. I do not know where to go. I feel that I can be more challenged at Exeter but worried that will be too challenged. I have already revisited, and I am wishing that I could take 50% of each school and stick them together to make my ideal school!! Where should I go?
First of all, congratulations on your acceptances! What a major accomplishment! Now, know that I have not attended either school. I find out if I get into Choate tomorrow. And I was rejected from Exeter. But, I can tell you that Exeter is my dream school. So, I will always be biased towards Exeter.
Don’t worry about it being too challenging. People who stress about grades will stress about grades anywhere, and opposite. Exeter (and Choate I would assume) give you ample resources to get help and improve whenever needed. I mean, your teachers are literally available to help 24/7. However, if you will not utilize these resources, then you will struggle. If you are unwilling to put in the work, there’s that too. Also know, that they would not have accepted you at Exeter if they did not think you could handle it.
I have seen in a general way more about Exeter. I am way more knowledgeable about it and can tell you tons about the environment there. Choate – not so much.
My advice: You can’t really change your decision after you make it. Go with what felt like home. If you are a math and science person, maybe look at stats. Make a pros and cons chart. Also, for Exeter at least, you can go to the Exeter Instagram page and start looking at people who comment on their posts that go to Exeter. Then follow them and eventually DM them and talk to them and get their takes. They will be way more honest with you about their experiences than someone who you met on a revisit day. (I know it sounds creepy. But I have seen most Exeter students are very open and nice and would love to give their advice!)
Best of luck! Let me know what you decide. Feel free to reach out any time 
Thank you so much for the advice!!
If you were accepted to those and/or other great schools, you will not be overwhelmed at either school. Whether you are challenged is entirely up to you, just as it has been to this point. Both schools have incredible resources that you are unlikely to exhaust. I’m sure you’ll be successful and adapt to whichever learning methods each school uses.
At this point, I’d actually suggest abandoning stats (your head) and going with what your heart or your “gut” is telling you. Not just based on the revisits, but on the entire experience (emails, phone calls, interview, shared experiences of students and alumni, and the revisit). My guess is that you have some idea of which you prefer. Often, it is not saying “yes” to a school (or other choice) that is hard…it’s saying “no” to a school (or other hard earned and/or great choice) that is actually what makes it difficult. It is a psychological fact that we perceive loss much stronger than we perceive gain.
Congrats and best of luck!
First of all, congratulations! It is an amazing achievement to be accepted at both of those schools. I am accepted at Choate and didn’t apply to Exeter this year, although I did attend the summer program at Exeter and applied last year. This is going to be biased towards Choate, but there is no wrong decision when choosing between these schools.
My decision to not apply to Exeter was simply because I didn’t want to be surrounded in a competitive environment. I had applied last year and was rejected, but realized that my motivation to apply was based off nothing more than to make my family happy, rather than what I wanted in a school. I was accepted at the summer program, which convinced me that Exeter wasn’t the right fit. That summer I got honors in a lot of my classes, yet still felt inferior to some of my peers. I think Exeter is academically oriented, which is very appealing to a lot of accomplished students. It was a downside for me though, since my accomplishments were with piano, theater, and skiing; not academics. I’m sure you’ll be given the correct resources to be prosperous at both schools, but it really depends on each individual student. On the other hand, Choate’s arts concentration program was something I was interested in pursuing, and they usually have a successful fall sports season. Another appeal of Choate was its proximity to large cities like New Haven, New York City, and Hartford. I felt that being in a town like Wallingford would be a better adjustment, since I’m from a large city. Both communities have prosperous students, and are very diverse. I did get the impression that Choate students had more pride for their school, however.
Ultimately it’s your decision, every person’s experience varies. Talk to your revisit hosts and the coaches. I asked my friends at their respective schools for their experience when choosing between schools, there are threads from both schools on this website where you can ask questions. The decision is determined by what you want from your boarding school experience. Both schools are amazing and will offer you an excellent academic/athletic experience. Choose the school where you can imagine being happiest.
Let me know what your final decision is. Good luck!
Choate!
I applied to both schools and I see where you’re coming from (If only you could combine the best aspects from each school). I unfortunately was waitlisted at both places, so congratulations on getting in. I wouldn’t worry about being too challenged. I think being challenged could only help you learn how to thrive under pressure and just comes with the boarding school experience no matter where you go. I think the Harkness method is a great way to have an engaging class. I wouldn’t know much about field hockey at each school, but make sure you talk to both coaches and maybe some players. Good luck and let me know what you decide! (And wherever you don’t go I wouldn’t ldnt mind taking your spot there! 
Did you have a chance to revisit?
I am going to Exeter in the fall, and went to the revisit Friday; if you were unable to go and you’d like to hear my impressions based on that, I’d be happy to share.
I agree 100% with @Altras! We just went through a similar experience with our final two school choices and realized that deep down, there was clearly a ‘winner’ and we knew it – it was just so hard to give up the other school where we’d had an equally wonderful experience. On reflection though, the school we picked was the school where my daughter felt most comfortable, enjoyed the kids the most and could totally see herself being a part of without ANY reservation. For me, it was definitely in my gut that she should attend but we took her to both revisits anyway and that was the defining moment for her. Go with your gut!
Both are great schools so regardless of what you decide, you’ll have made a good choice. Both will challenge you.
Reading between the lines, I think you feel you’d be happier at Choate (and I agree with you). I say follow your heart.
@SportyStudent21, I, in fact, was there on Friday! I would like to hear about your experience, too!
@mashar0122 I think you maybe meant to user-tag me?
@Ravenclaw3 yes, sorry, got it wrong;p
My daughter did field hockey at Choate and unfortunately did not have a great experience. IMHO lots of favortism by coaches. The place to go is Hotchkiss for field hockey, lots of national championships. Go red! Go Exeter.
It’s fine
My impressions of Exeter:
-Lovely campus
-Friendly and welcoming students, faculty, staff
-Engaging and varied classes
-Contrary to popular belief, at least 95% of the student population is human (not sure about that other 5% . . . :)) )
-Can’t say much about dorms, as I will be a day student and didn’t see them, but the Day Student Lounge is nice
-Students seem busy and some seem stressed, but for the most part, people seemed pretty happy
-Close community
-Good food
-Wide variety of available activities
-Awesome library
-Seemed personally invested in current and prospective students (the person who interviewed me found me to have a nice little catch-up conversation)
-I didn’t feel like there was a “cool kids club” of alumni parents during the registration/closing times
@Ravenclaw3 By the way, the food you have on revisit day is slightly better than a regular day at all schools, but I would not base your entire decision off of the food anyways. Especially since Exeter is right near a pretty nice town. (Exeter, NH)
Also, dorms are pretty nice! I applied as a 7-day boarder and got a glimpse into the dorms on my tour. They (obviously) were not 5-star hotels, and some were certainly nicer than others, but none were gross by any means.
They do NOT make the food better at EXETER…trust me! Of all the schools we revisited, it was one of the worst for food. SwimKid said the food is the same not matter if it is revisit day, parents day or a plain Wednesday.
@momof3swimmers I disagree. I have heard that they do ramp it up a bit for revisit day as they want you to have the best possible experience.
@coppii I wouldn’t decide based on food . . . but I also didn’t have to decide as Exeter was the only place I applied (parents would only let me apply to a school where I could be a day student). Mainly what I appreciated about their food was that it was pretty good, if not fantastic, and they had a lot of choices, including stuff that I could eat during Passover. Also, I would say that beyond being near Exeter, PEA is kind of in the middle of Exeter
Yeah, that is what I thought. But I was not sure. I know when I went up to tour and interview with my family, we stopped at a nice little pizzeria just down the block. If I remember correctly, the food was very good.
So even if you did not like the food, the nice town of Exeter coupled with the open campus makes for a world of possibilities.