Choosing a BS because of a sport — Pro/Con

<p>Thanks SevenDad- that will be fine!</p>

<p>@photographermom: you have PM turned off…so I can’t write directly. Here’s the message I get when I try to send a PM to you: “photographermom has chosen not to receive private messages or may not be allowed to receive private messages. Therefore you may not send your message to him/her.”</p>

<p>At least for boys, I don’t know a lot of kids who are talented enough to play on a varsity team but choose to do yoga instead!</p>

<p>I have found that BS athletics are very different from public school or day school athletics. DD excelled at her individual sport and while the BS she attends has a strong team, it is known for another sport. Knowing that the BS had an athletic requirement, I assumed that her off campus training could substitute for her athletic team requirement. I found out that this was not the case. As a result, she is not able to play or train in her individual sport as much as she did at home and she plays on a team as required by the AD. She enjoys learning a new sport and being on a team. It has been a good experience for a new student. Yes, she is tired but she is very happy because she is challenging herslef athletically and academically. To be honest, I think it was harder on me than on her to adjust from being focused/obsessed with a single sport.</p>

<p>@peteri: Does your DD do both a school team and her outside individual sport?</p>

<p>Depending on the school (should she get in anywhere, of course), I think 7D2 could do that (thirds teams) or get her requirement waived due to outside individual sport. I have asked at all the schools on our short list and the answers on getting requirements waived are mixed.</p>

<p>“varsity teams end up being essentially reserved just for the athletes that get recruited”</p>

<p>Is the above typically at most of the larger boarding schools and some of the medium sized? Would the smaller (>=300 & <400) boarding schools not have reserved varsity teams, especially the smaller that are among the top 20 academically? For example, I’m wondering about the small boarding schools of St. Andrew’s DE, Groton, Middlesex, St. Mark’s, Westminster, & St. George’s. Or the medium/smaller medium like St. Paul’s and Deerfield.</p>

<p>Sevendad we were in your same position last year - I will chime in later today</p>

<p>@chemmchimney: So she gave up her old sport totally? And has not regretted that choice so far (from your post I’m assuming she’s in her first year of BS)?</p>

<p>jjs123, the smaller boarding schools don’t field teams comprised solely of recruited athletes. If a school offers between 13 - 20 sports, just recruiting 10 athletes per team would mean half the school would have to have been recruited, which is not the case. Most students are required to play, but the schools admit students with a variety of interests. Some students grow into the varsity teams over the course of their boarding school career.</p>

<p>SevenDad here is our story: My daughter plays a non-traditional sport and has competed year round for the past 3 years, averaging 4-5 days a week in the gym, so it is also her only sport. There is only 1 BS that offers an actual team in her sport and that school was not a fit academically so, yes, she gave up her sport entirely this fall. She fell in love with a BS and there was no looking back for her. There were many family discussions along the lines of Are you SURE you want to do this. Have you thought this through? etc. (She was in a great public school and did not have to go to BS). So far she is at peace. There have been moments, but no major regrets. </p>

<p>At her new school, she joined a team that was open to novices. She is a first year boarder, and to date she has met a ballerina and a figure skater who made a similar choice to give up their high-level sport to try some new things. Although there is a PE class in my daughter’s sport, and dance classes for the dancer, these kids all came to the same conclusion - its better to try something brand new than to continue their sport in their new school at a less intensive level. </p>

<p>As a parent, I feel it has been a little harder for her to find her crowd and settle in at school without her sport which has been a big part of her identity, but overall the transition has been okay for her. She didn’t love her new fall sport which was unfortunate. Having to give up both her team friends and her school friends and start over again was tougher than she imagined. </p>

<p>Now we are just past midterms, and lo and behold, a tentative opportunity to compete in her old sport this spring did materialize last week. Although I think she has not regretted her decision to go to boarding school, the potential chance to get back to her sport definitely lifted both of our spirits. Coincidently, I recently reached out to teachers to see if they could help her to connect with the other kids on campus who share her interest, but they have not yet responded so I believe it was just serendipity that she found the one day student on campus that likes to do what she does and that their schedules are compatible. </p>

<p>The schools we visited were all equally frank in saying that they would not be able to help us much with the logisitics involved with getting her to events off campus, and I can see that this might be a hassle going forward. All the schools supported her desire to pursue her sport, but the 5-6 we toured told us pretty frankly that it might be difficult for the schools to make it happen for her so she made the choice to give up her sport with her eyes open. I guess the one tip I would offer if you plan to pursue this route is don’t underestimate the difficulty of trying to coordinate trips off campus, especially if the school is rural. You can imagine that the schools are wisely reluctant to let a 14 year old hop on a bus and go into the city unchaperoned for a dance class. Some parents may also be reluctant to let their child drive off campus alone with a stranger, although I would be okay with this. </p>

<p>I asked every school we visited if they offered sports exemptions, and I remember Lawrenceville did offer this. It was relatively new for them. We also got mixed responses similar to yours. The sense I got from most of the schools we visited was that your child needed to be very established in their sport in order to be granted an exemption, and they didn’t always get you out of school’s sport commitments either. </p>

<p>The primary reason my daughter decided not to compete in her sport this fall was because she wanted time to adjust to her new school and boy am I glad that she was wise enough to make that choice! She is busy from 7 am - 10 pm every day. It really would have been nearly impossible for her to be on a school team and make time to go off campus to do her main sport even if the logistics hadn’t also been an issue. I think you would need to be a superkid to manage it (at least your first year). She averages 4 hours of homework and her prior workouts were also exhausting - trying to do both would most likely have been a disaster. It may be more doable for her in the spring without a school team sport. </p>

<p>During the application process, my impression was that although the school’s appreciated my daughter’s dedication to her sport and her achievement, it was not a significant “hook” for her and not playing a sport that the school offered may have hurt her chances. If there are schools on your list that offer your daughter’s sport, they would probably be thrilled to have her and even if they are not a HADES school, they might be a good option for your family. </p>

<p>Once the pro shuffle board kids are on campus, as many have noted above, they are unlikely to join varsity or even JV teams without prior experience because kids are selected specifically to fill any holes in these rosters. However because they are athletic, they might move up quickly. My daughter was bumped up to the JV level pretty soon after try outs even as a complete newbie.</p>

<p>I hope something here is helpful and good luck to Sevendaughter!</p>

<p>Thanks for the blow by blow…on top of your insights/advice, I’ve had some really good conversations with parents and AOs this week. Rest assured that, so far, we are sticking to schools where it’s relatively doable to get her to/from the outside training she needs…and for wife and I to get to (to take her to tournaments near and far).</p>

<p>I will say that, as I’m sure you daughter experienced, competing at an elite level in any sport requires the kid to be particularly good about time management…which I think will serve 7D2 well, no matter where she ends up next Fall.</p>

<p>[Can</a> I Make Varsity?: How Andover Athletes Have Made the JV to Varsity Transition | The Phillipian](<a href=“http://www.phillipian.net/articles/2013/10/24/can-i-make-varsity-how-andover-athletes-have-made-jv-varsity-transition]Can”>http://www.phillipian.net/articles/2013/10/24/can-i-make-varsity-how-andover-athletes-have-made-jv-varsity-transition)</p>

<p>It’s a longer article. I’m not a “sports fan”, so I haven’t read it but thought it might have something you are interested in.</p>

<p>I know I’m probably stating the obvious ( post not directed at SD), but I’ll share one important tip to keep in mind during the BS interview process: Don’t try to hammer out details (or get a yes or no answer) until after you’re accepted. During the interview, listen to what the AO and the coach say very carefully and don’t linger on the subject. You and your child will be able to gauge the reponse ( and likelihood ) very easily- It usually ranges from wildly enthusiastic to not happening.</p>

<p>After March 10th decisions, call the AD or coach ( I called both) and have a conversation that clearly outlines expectations along with goals and objectives. (Also- remember it’s a two-way street and it’s very likely you and your child will be making concessions, too). </p>

<p>It’s very important to get confirmation ( and have a very positive gut feeling or vibe ) before you send in the deposit check. If you love the school and you can imagine it working- go for it!</p>

<p>Also important for parents to remember:</p>

<p>You’re building a partnership that goes beyond school and family. Chances are you’ll be introducing an outside coach into the mix which needs to be (delicately) brokered and facilitated. In our case, everything has worked out well for everyone (we’re all friends!) and it’s been a great deal of fun- but it’s also been a lot of hard work! You really have to ask yourself if you have the time and energy to devote to this cause. If you don’t- I would definitely think twice…</p>

<p>I agree with Photomom - we didn’t discuss many details with outside coach or school till after acceptance (and we kept questions casual and noted multiple places that she was ok without her sport too) but for some kids applying hinges on these (half) answers and it was a comfort to know whether or not there was any precedent for an outside sport- current school granted an Olympic curling champ an exception!</p>

<p>This thread really hits close to home for me. My DD played a sport at an intensive level and I believe it did give her a hook at her school. She will play on the team in the spring. We understood that attending BS would not allow her to play as often as she had at home. We encouraged her to think about quality and not quantity. We located a high level local program, interviewed locals and had a tryout, also contacted a local car service to arrange for transportation from campus for th e ten minute ride to the facility and back. During the interview process we understood or perhaps misunderstood that this would all be permitted by the school. Alas, we found out that DD would still have to satisfy her athletic participation on campus on a team or serving in some team manager capacity. The school held strong on this position because of a league requirement. Bottom line is that DD goes off campus two times a week AND playsfield hockey. She really enjoys it and beingon a team allowed her to meet new students and become part of her school community. She has enjoyed it so much that she proclaimed she wants to be a three season athlete. She may not be competing as much but I have never seen her happier. In hindsight I was very concerned about whether she would lose her hook for college but seeing how happy she is and well adjusted at BS, it has been worth it. Bottom line, it is a lot of work to continue to practice your sport off campus but it can be done. She doesnt have a spare minute but she is thriving and is happy. Harder on me than on DD.</p>

<p>I don’t mean to be provocative or insulting, but why would anyone in their right mind pick a BS because of a sport? That’s like the tail wagging the dog. Afterall, it is a school we are talking about. The sport isn’t the main event.</p>

<p>Redblue a lot of kids, even at the age of 13, have already put years into mastering a sport so whether or not they can continue to play it at a particular school is important. That doesn’t mean, however, that academics take a back seat. In fact most of the people posting in this thread have commented on the sacrifices their children have made/will make in terms of level of play/amount of play in their sport in order to access a better education. For some, the sport may also help pave their way into college and families are reluctant to lose that “hook” if it is possible to maintain it. Sport is not the main event ,but for many it is also more than a side dish.</p>

<p>I don’t think anyone is proposing to pursue academically deficient schools, just for the sake of pursuing a sport. </p>

<p>Fom my initial list of academically rigorous schools, S2 refused to visit the ones that did not offer his sport on a competitive level. We agreed. </p>

<p>We don’t expect his sport to be a hook for college admission. But in light of how stressful the academics can be at the rigorous boarding schools, we think it very important for him to be be able to engage in a activity he loves, to be happy and to decompress.</p>

<p>What chemmchimney & GMTplus7 said…</p>

<p>If a kid in 8th grade was good enough at an individual sport for him/her to be a D1 recruitable candidate four years from now (and has expressed an interest in pursuing sport through high school and perhaps college), would it not make sense for the ability to continue to develop in that sport to be a factor (however large or small) in selecting schools to consider?</p>

<p>For some kids, it IS all about sports at this point in their lives. Any passion can be the organizing principle in a life, and anything that motivates and focuses a kid should be celebrated. </p>

<p>One of my kids plays a sport at an elite level, and focused mostly on that sport during his boarding school search. We, his parents, limited the schools he looked at to those that met our academic and community expectations, so he was free to dwell on his sport to his heart’s content. </p>

<p>Many kids who will be the thinkers and achievers and academics of the future do not know that about themselves at 14 or 15. Anything that provides a “home” at school, friends, a reason to get out of bed in the morning, motivation to work hard and stay out of trouble, and provides the rewards of improvement, should be encouraged!</p>