Choosing your first year roommate - yay or nay?

I would whole heartedly disagree with separating by grades. That sounds very segregated and somewhat demeaning. Some kids work their tails off and still pull a C. I would think you would want kids who are struggling to be intermixed with high achievers. It could certainly help those who are struggling. And oh my I can’t even imagine the high and mighty attitude of the high GPA and scholastic accomplishments dorm.
Now change segregation of dorms by GPA to segregation by income or race.
Horrible idea in my opinion.

I think the old system is better. My first year I chose one roommate through Facebook and the other was semi random (barely met). It worked out well as I still Room with the roommate I chose via the applicant run Facebook group. It’s like in elementary school when they try and force you to be friends with everyone. Sometimes it’s better to let people find who they are compatible with.

There’s no ideal rooming situation. I think it’s going to be hit-or-miss no matter what you do.

My college did completely random assignments for freshman, barring vaguely-themed living such as “Wellness” and “Adventure”. I think that was a great experience for me and everyone I know. Did it suck at the time? Yes. Did some of us hate our roommates? Yes. Do I talk to any of mine from freshman year? No, but so it goes. I’m not sure how much success I would’ve had choosing one, especially someone I knew from high school.

Second year, I chose one roommate (my best friend) and had two random assignments. The four of us were four completely personalities and I enjoyed living with one of the random ones the best despite us being complete opposites.

Most college freshman won’t know what they like or not in a roommate. I’ve found I’m more the type to prefer my roommates to be friendly ghosts. However, I know not everyone is like that and everyone’s going to have their thing.

Facebook seems to be like the happiest medium, in my opinion.

I went with completely random each of the 4 years of college and it was fine. But I’m not in touch with any of the 4 roommates, and just realized I can’t recall any of their names for certain.

DS is a freshman. His roommate selection involved a 2-week process to be sorted into houses, tarot cards for room-pick priority, and than the lucky ones on the tarot card ranking drafted roommates sort of like FRC robotics alliances.

Not sure how it will work next year for room selection, but I think he gets his own choice as to roommates.

My youngest DD tried to do FB roommate but it fell through (which is common) so ended up with random. At first she was upset because her roommate seemed to be the opposite of her on the questionnaire…e.g. went to be late and my daughter went to bed early or whatever. But it worked out fine and they were friends.

Eldest did random and ended up with a sluggy type person who didn’t leave the room much. It worked out fine enough.

I am a fan of not having a roommate.

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I would favor random but match up with certain preferences such as non-smoker, sleep before certain hours or maintain certain level of cleanliness. It’s one thing to try to get along with a different personality but not if I can’t get my beauty sleep due to my roommate’s constant tapping or movements during late hours.

I don’t think it matters. I have had roommates I have been randomly matched with, roommates I met on social media and roommates with whom I was friends. How I met the person didn’t really seem to determine whether or not we got along; that was determined simply by our lifestyles and preferences for how we wanted to keep the space. In my experience as an RA and a hall director for undergraduates, college students tend not to know that very well about their future roommates regardless of whether they are perfect strangers or best friends since birth (since BFFs tend to have never lived together before).

The benefit of finding someone on Facebook is that you do get to talk to that person ahead of time about standards of living and what you each bring to the arrangement, but some schools are connecting their randomly matched students ahead of time to do that anyway so…shrug.

In both my kids’ experience contact info for the assigned roommate was given a couple of weeks to a month before they arrived, so they could talk online or by phone.

After arriving they signed housing agreements with rules and such for living in the dorm.

D’s school additionally had them go through an exercise together where they ID’ed possible issues that might arise and how they planned to resolve them, and both signed off on that “custom” contract with each other.

I think colleges should give students a choice to room with a friend or get assigned one. I am not a fan of using the college years like a giant science experiment.

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I got a random roommate back in the day…she was a horror show. Starting with the pet boa constrictor. Ending with her getting high in our room with friends while I was at work and wondering what would happen if she put my hamster in her snake’s tank. I think you know how that story ends…

S17 used the FB page. Contacted the guy via text, they went back and forth a bit and it’s been great. They are the best of friends. I still think it’s a bit of a crap shoot, but at least made him feel like he knew what he was walking into to an extent.

@NJWrestlingmom
You lost a hamster but gained a great story.

I still like the random roommate approach.

I chuckle on every college tour when the tour guide brags about the unique process that is used at said school to perfectly pair a set of freshman.

That being said … it worked well for me over thirty years ago and worked well for my college sophomore last year. I think it is a part of the whole college process.

True and two of mine got “random roommates” that worked out exceedingly well…both ended up living with that person all 4 years. #3 had a very good friend from Kindergarten throughout high school and they both ended up attending the same big uni and lived together. Ended up well for them, also, they added new friends to their circle plus found random friends of their own. If some kid wants to room with someone they do I see no reason to force them into a random lottery “just for the experience.” It should be of zero consequence to the college or university.

We went to an accepted students event yesterday, and the Dean of Students told us that problems often arise when the surveys aren’t filled out honestly. He emphasized that students who are “hygeinically challeneged” should not feel like they can’t admit to being slobs. Unfortunately, S18 wasn’t present.

My daughter found her roomie via the admitted students Facebook roommate compatibility app. They were both athletes, not on the same team, but their similar schedules and lifestyles set up a basis for cutting each other slack when things might have gotten tense. Sophmore year she roomed with someone from the team, and I haven’t heard about next year yet.

A hundred years ago I got a 3x5 card in the mail from Residential Life with a stranger’s name on it. Fortunately Bismark, ND is pretty small and I was able track him down before school started. We weren’t best friends but we had a good room. Every afternoon at 3:00 about a dozen people would show up to watch He Man and the Masters of the Universe, so we had to scrounge extra seating and leave the door unlocked most of the year. It worked out fine.

My freshman lives with another lacrosse player – they chose to room together. They are still friends but she doesn’t consider roommate her best friend. She is moving next year with a group of players to an on campus ‘house’- her roommate there is not her ‘best friend’ - which I think is best; my worst roommate ever was supposedly my best friend - D and the roommate from this year will still be friends. Both are cool with the changes.

Need to throttle down the expectations of what defines a good room mate. Too many go in blind thinking they will be best friends. We explained to our son that all that needs to happen for him to have a good transition to college is for there to be compatibility. If they become great friends, that’s a bonus. You simply want respect and courtesy towards each other. Fast forward and they were completely random (100% random required at his school). They get along great. Are friends but don’t do a lot together. They have their own groups. Own interests. But they are very comfortable around each other, talk to each other a lot one -on - one. One joined a frat and the other didn’t. Had neither joined, they would likely choose to room together again. Compatible.