<p>HudsonValley,</p>
<p>I think some of the frustation is parents being expected to be frugal, and then seeing administrative costs at colleges soar. I suspect this will be changing.</p>
<p>Some of these schools are inching towards the $60K mark. I know NYU Tisch is up there already. If you don’t get the middle of the road or cheaper housing, COA can get way up there fast. City school also can just eat up the money. </p>
<p>That’s is the concern we have. Even though we have been active in the college scene for a long time now, it was still a bit of a shock when my last kid got a $25K merit scholarship, and it hit us that it still left $30K to pay which was what we had figured was really them maximum we could responsibly afford. </p>
<p>Looking at my next one to go to college, the $30K figure isn’t going to cover half the COA of those private schools. Effectively, the way we have lived our lives, saved and are making what is a big salary is not enough to pay for private colleges. Combination of the market, some personal hits, and increasing college costs made it so we just could not keep up even when we did plan.</p>
<p>Modadunn, Actually, my parents paid for summer camps for their kids so that they could travel or just have a peaceful summer with us out of their hair. I never had that attitude, but if I did, I could not afford that either. My kids went to a few day camps that were run the the Y and each had one 2 week experience at a sleep away camp through the Y programs, or one week at a BSA camp. That is all we could afford. In our area the prices of camps have soared the roof because of insurance the property values. Many camps in our area have closed, bc the land value was worth cashing in, as it skyrocketed.</p>
<p>My kids have never been sent abroad for any of the teen camps, programs, etc. Frankly, we could not afford that either. Every year I shopped for price as well as experience for my kids. It was never easy. I am very thankful for Y and BSA programs.</p>
<p>As far as driving my kids around, yes, I did that and was very happy to do so.</p>
<p>Queensmom, your home sounds like mine. We never bought a bedroom set (all inherited from family “hand me downs”). We did buy one couch and one wall unit when we were first married. We never bought a dining room set either. That is another inherited family item from a great aunt.</p>
<p>Kayf, I think that you are right, and I hope that you are right. One quesion, how do you think that will happen? Who has the answers?</p>
<p>I am so glad I drive a 9 year old mini-van & have an ancient sofa with one of those $25.00 slip covers (that the dog chewed holes in) Time to get a new slip cover! Maybe now it is “in” to be frugal & if you have it, don’t flaunt it! </p>
<p>The trouble is many parents don’t bother to research the cost or calculate their own EFC’s & do the math. I have always done so-it matters WHAT schools my children apply to. We strive for looking at schools that meet a high percentage of need. But if a school says they meet 90-100% of need, that does not necessarily mean they are going to meet your child’s need. Some parents pay more attention to buying a new car, stereo, HD TV etc by reading Consumer Reports & doing research online, then they do about financial aid. That is not right, a college education for 4 years will cost them a lot more than any electronic gizmo or car, truck, SUV etc. will.</p>
<p>Actually the only thing that gets me angry about FA calculations is that they add back your 401(k) contribution.</p>
<p>Queen’s Mom, They do? No wonder my EFC was higher than I though it should be.</p>
<p>Yes, they do, which makes no sense to me because if you don’t contribute you are losing a tax deduction and paying more taxes which is not taken into account. However if you do contribute, they just add the entire thing back with no allowance for increased tax.</p>
<p>My head hurts.</p>
<p>It’ll hurt more if you start listing the things that are off in the way financial need is defined. Lots of crevices.</p>
<p>Yes, they definitely manage to give you a very thorough exam in each and every crevice, don’t they? Maybe it’s not just my head that will be in pain at the end of it. ;)</p>
<p>Maybe you should keep paying into 401k and borrow. Stop contributing into 401k when you kids are done and pay back the money borrowed afterwards. Also, should I start looking for night school to get some minor degree certificate at a local community college? With the kids away from the house, I should have some extra free time to do night course.</p>
<p>ttparent - my daughter is not a top 5% kid (not even top 10%) and she got a merit scholarship worth over 50% of her tuition at a small private school. It isn’t a “National school” but a “regional school”.</p>
<p>The best way to fight college costs is to refuse to pay. They charge so much because people will pay it. They build the fancy dorms, “health centers” and recreation facilities because parents will pay to send their children there.
I know lots of parents who make a very decent living who send their kids to state schools or cheaper schools and don’t think twice about it.
problem is if you hang out here long enough you find that every parent has a child who is so “gifted” they “need” to be “stimulated” in an “intellectual” environment and you as a parent OWE this to your child - which you do NOT.</p>
<p>Modadunn–I agree with you about those service trips. Not everyone is rich enough to fly halfway around the world to do something away for the faraway poor!</p>
<p>
Well, in my case, perhaps because my parents paid for my college costs, and dh’s parents paid for 90% of his costs. He had a couple of thousand in loans which we paid in one swoop shortly after he got his PhD. I’ve always expected I would pay for my kid’s education including room and board - I do expect them to pay for their social lives and to earn their keep during the summer.</p>
<p>And I will confess to being an education snob - I think some schools are worth more - though NOT getting into hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt more.</p>
<p>JustAMomOf4, I completely understand the idea that in the bigger scheme of things, we are not obligated to go along with the over inflated sense of importance that our current state of society on getting our kids to the these competitive and overpriced schools. But I came from family in which my father did not go to college and they sacrificed a lot to get me through college. I tell my kids the same thing that my father told me which is to study hard to be able to go to a good college and make a life of yourself. Too bad that good college now involves amongst other things; good dorm, good food, nicely manicured campus with lots of student activities. I don’t know whether the sense of my obligation for my kids to have the opportunity for a good college is misguided but my parents did sacrifice for me and I am grateful to them to this day.</p>
<p>I know I can’t afford it, I know I will suffer tremendously for it and it is coming like a freight train, but somehow in the back of my head, I think I’ll find a way to make it work.</p>
<p>Some schools are absolutely, positively worth more especially given individual situations. I know kids that just were not suited for certain colleges but could thrive in others. </p>
<p>I have said, and am saying again that these days, kids and parents just don’t seem to be putting the old college account in place for their kids. My parents on a very small income did so. I had a nice sum in there for college. I did the same for my kids. Really more so that they had some investment in the process, and I had expected to be able to take care of their college costs. I just wanted them involved in making it a goal. I also wanted them to work jobs so that they were in touch with that part of life, in addition to learning to earn money. In this area, and I live near you, Mathmom, it is surprising the number of kids who do not do anything for college than focus on interesting ECs that cost money. When we lived in the midwest, a lot of the local businesses had high school and college students working part time. Not as much here. Most of my sons’ peers are doing internship, the more impressive sounding, the better, rather than working as a bus boy (quite lucrative) or cleaning or work crew. By taking these ugly jobs, our boys have been able to make a tidy sum that had really helped in paying for school. But more importantly, they understand what goes into making that money and what kind of work is funding their education. The loans put skin in the game, but the work puts in the blood and guts.</p>
<p>I have a houseguest right now who just graduated and is looking for a job in NYC. She is a bright young thing, loaded with loans and looking for a high paying, impressive job. The idea of being a shop clerk, clean up in a restaraunt or other such positions is not on her agenda at all. After all she has an expensive college degree. With over $40K in loans, she has never held a menial job. All summers abroad or doing wonderful thing, all spelled out on the resume. The only work she has done have been in acquaintance’s offices, personal assistant, gopher jobs in great settings. Maybe she will find what she wants, but I think that she is missing something when she does not include dishwashing on her list. And her peers (many kids I know) are doing the very same thing.</p>
<p>cptofthehouse, nothing wrong with dish washing, but it is not something I would put on a resume if I wanted to show that I had office skills.</p>
<p>Not so worried about the actual resume as the fact that I don’t think dishwashing or even waitressing is in her plans at all. I know that when I was job hunting with limited experience, though I was hoping for a career type job, I also had an eye open for other income producing options as I knew that there was a possibility that I would not find the ideal situation immediately. This is NOT the situation here. I mean dishwashing is not on her list of possibilities in thought.</p>
<p>When I was just out of college and looking for an office job (during a recession), I took a part time job helping in a vet’s office. Talk about a dirty job…it never made it onto my resume, though.</p>
<p>mathmom: I’m with you on the ‘education snob’ thing. HOWEVER- while some private schools may be worth the 50K or 60K, there are too many private colleges that are worth much less- and yet charge the same. Price is simply not linked to quality. (As an aside, the same is true for healthcare).</p>