<p>I’ve reported FitFemLove to CC admin as a spam user; this same sales pitch was posted in 42 different threads today!</p>
<p>I strongly urge everyone to think long and hard and get at least a week of good sleep once this process is over before seriously going down the road of thinking of going into any real debt to buy your child their “dream school.” One very VERY well respected coach told us that “6 months after graduation, no one will care where they went to school.” You can argue with that statement, and people will, but be careful about jumping on the prestige wagon because those school loans will last a VERY long time. My daughter narrowed her final choices down to 2 schools: BoCo and Montclair. And I was not beyond bribery. But it was also reality. We had diligently saved for college, but I told her that if she went to BoCo she would have to earn ALL her own spending money, and there would be NOTHING left over at the end of 4 years to help with any transition to the next step. The fact that she was even vacillating between the two before I even said that led me to want to help her “decide” – but seriously, 65K a year is a LOT of money when there are really good alternatives. And state schools can be some of the best schools out there! University of Michigan is a state school. So is Texas State. Montclair has some of the best facilities of any school we visited and a first rate program which, even for out of staters without financial aid, is less expensive than most of the private schools with financial aid. I thank the wonderful taxpayers of New Jersey every day for helping to give my daughter such a great place to spend 4 years. 
May cool heads prevail, and congratulations everybody!!</p>
<p>I so strongly agree with Calliene. MtorBust said earlier in this thread that her son referred to her as a Dream Crusher over the financial aspect of the decision, but let me tell you, I can think of few Dream Crushers worse than spending four years training for your dream, then being so crushed by debt that you have no chance to pursue your passion.</p>
<p>However, to return this to the lighter side, which I was so enjoying, and hoping that posting this link doesn’t violate rules and get zapped, here is something from the Onion, about training for an Improv career.</p>
<p><a href=“Parents Urge Son To Invest In Improv Comedy Education”>Parents Urge Son To Invest In Improv Comedy Education;
<p>I will happily second Calliene’s post even though we are at the completely opposite end of the spectrum with a kid in a very expensive private school. My daughter is broke and does have to supply her own spending money but we will endeavor to get her out of there with no more than 25K debt if we can. Is my kid at the best most perfect’est’ school for MT in the world? Duh…Of course she is! And so is Calliene’s and Theatremomma’s and Times3’s, and Flossy’s and Momcares’s, and _____ feel free to fill in the blank.</p>
<p>I do not regret our choice at all. It’s terribly expensive and a burden. But it is what we decided to do even though we had many other options. I think we did it for the right reasons for us with a cool heads that did prevail. That is excellent advice whatever decision that leads to. Carpe Diem. </p>
<p>edit: OMG Mt4life… perfect and hilarious!!!</p>
<p>
Haha – @MT4Life, this is so perfect. If my kids grow up to work for the Onion some day, I will be one happy mom. :)</p>
<p>Halflokum, thanks for the insightful (as always) post reminding us that every family is allowed to do what they think is best for–and with–their almost-grown-up child. My son didn’t end up at his MOST expensive option, but it wasn’t his least expensive option either. It was in fact his first choice, and we were incredibly grateful that it was manageable. We’ve had different arrangements with each of our three kids, but have made it work; all of us will be paying for it over the years to come, but…like halflokum says, for us it’s been worth it. No regrets–only gratitude!</p>
<p>We’re another family that has chosen to make sacrifices to enable our kids to attend their schools of choice, but I am also a huge believer in financial honesty and that debt can be the ultimate dream killer. Oh - and three years in we have found that we really CAN manage our EFC, even though it was heart-stopping when we first saw it. </p>
<p>I admit that I did have sleepless nights when I realized how expensive D’s ED school would be compared to her alternatives, but honestly we have seen it paying off on so many levels that I now consider it easily the best money we’ve ever spent.</p>
<p>@times3, you know I am bordering on being misty eyed about the subject. I’m coming off of a weekend visit to NYC were I finally got to see my kid in a student production and see not only her, but her peers in action. It was thrilling even though she was in this beyond weird modern play interpretation of a Greek classic thing that I didn’t really fully understand what it was about and I doubt half of the student actors did either.Anyway, I also saw a concurrently running musical that many of her friends were in but she wasn’t. The musical was delightful. Gosh the talent is redundant.</p>
<p>Meanwhile back in strange play land… I loved it. Not for reasons many might think to love it. I LOVED walking away from all of the performances I saw knowing from my head to my toes that my kid is somewhere where she is working with people that are as good as she is… who will push the heck out of her from freshman year until they graduate. I’ve heard that from her, but only just this past weekend got to actually see it. Small space, weird show, free tickets because I’m fairly sure nobody other than parents would pay for it. I loved it. And I loved these quotes from my daughter over Greek food which by the way, was yummy:</p>
<p>“People say Tisch is really big and they are right. But I’m so happy that I am going to school where almost everyone I’m surrounded by gets the arts and respects what it take to be good at the arts. When I tell people I’m majoring in musical theatre, nobody reacts like they think it’s a soft major.” </p>
<p>“Some people have a hard time coming to a program like this after having always been the star. I have no problem not being the star. I love that maybe I’m not the star or maybe I could be the star but then I’ll trade that job with one of my friends. It makes us all better.”</p>
<p>Sample of one school but gosh these kids are GOOD and I feel like it is money well spent! </p>
<p>. </p>
<p>Awwww, Halflokum, now I’m misty-eyed too.</p>
<p>It’s been exactly a year since my feet touched the ground after my son “got the call” from that first-choice school, and on Friday morning I’ll be driving out to see him in his first college production. It’s incredible how much he’s learned from this first small role, and I think I"ve said a billion times now that it still doesn’t quite seem real. I’m bringing a sock to stuff in my mouth so I don’t sob out loud when I see him walk onstage. </p>
<p>Cheers to all, and big high-fives to all our kids! 
Sniff…sniff…</p>
<p>I feel your pain, everyone. Now imagine that you work at a university where your child could attend for free…BUT they have no MT program! AARRGGHHHH! So I gave in and let her pick two schools to “give it a try.” So now we wait for those FA packages…but don’t think they can match “free.” X_X </p>
<p>MT4Life - that Onion video would be funny except that just what my daughter did through college and is still doing now that’s she graduated! Almost all improv all the time. She’s been successful in both Chicago and New York and she’s the first to admit that there’s no money in improv, but she’s discovered she loves improv more than any “regular” acting. Good thing she’s debt free!</p>
<p>I’ve been here now for somewhere between 3-4 years I think. We’ve seen the price tag of some of the private schools move steadily up, but the financial aid packages (merit scholarships/grants, not loans) stay the same or actually decrease. It’s a sin. Some of the middle of the road privates (40K-ish) seem to give better merit/grant packages) than the big ones (62K-ish).</p>
<p>Kids saying “thanks but no thanks” to the supposed golden ticket programs used to be unheard of. It was “if they get in, we’ll figure out how to pay it.” It is no longer a given. BUT, I am of the opinion that their loss is everyone else’s gain and it is leveling the playing field. It makes the quality of other programs better. There are more solid programs and more parity among them now more than ever. </p>
<p>This horrible process has taught me a couple of things…one important thing is that in the BFA world, the “big name” school doesn’t matter, as it does for the rest of the world (sorry; I’m an Ivy grad myself, and it opens doors to this day), and being a “school snob” won’t help you and will in fact hurt you. My D’s father (also an Ivy grad) discouraged her from considering some very well-known MT schools - schools we had visited and that blew me away with their facilities – because “if it doesn’t work out for D in theater, what good is a degree from THAT school?” D listened to him and refused to apply. This is part of the reason why D is facing the real possibility of NO ACCEPTANCES and moving on to Plan B. But playing the blame game won’t help her now.</p>
<p>Being a “school snob” will definitely hurt you if the goal is to get into ANY BFA program. But, that is not everyone’s goal. The overall quality of the school does and should matter to a lot of students. Maybe, Plan B will be just fine.</p>
<p>EastchesterMom. Everyone really has a difference of opinion on this subject of big name schools or local schools. It is such a tough decision to make. My son chose the path of the well known schools. He felt after a ton of research this would be his best chance of getting where he wants to be. He felt the connections you get from these schools after graduation pays for it in the long run. Not saying he is right or wrong but this is what he felt was good for him. Hang in there lets hope she gets an acceptance and you are not having to deal with the Plan B.</p>
<p>Wish I knew then what I know now…thanks, everyone, for the positive energy!! </p>
<p>I totally agree. We would have proceeded totally differently but I think you have to have faith this will all work out for her!!</p>
<p>Also, and this is not a widely known statistic, but only 33% of Americans have a college degree. So, no matter where your degree is from or what it is in, you are still ahead of the vast majority of people. And yes, this stat is correct. :-)</p>
<p>@EastchesterMom i totally understand what you are going through. My D finally got an acceptance with scholarship $ to Rider, but she has gotten at least 6 or 7 rejections so far. We were terrified of the odds, so she applied to over 20 schools! We are still waiting on a bunch, but she was sick during unifieds (when she audioned for most of the) so not very hopefull. Maybe we will both celebrate some acceptances in the next couple of weeks! In the meantime…valium. </p>
<p>bwaybabie congrats on Rider. We didnt realize how this process was going to be and he only applied at 6. We got one acceptance one wait list and still waiting to hear from 2. I am very greatful for what we have. HAng in their this will all be worth it in the end!!</p>