@belleforbroadway it is not uncommon to hear schools wanting early commitments. I agree with @EastchesterMom - there are rules that the schools are supposed to follow which cannot compel a student to commit before May 1. However, if the program has rolling admissions and the program reaches capacity, I don’t know happens.
That is my dilemma. My d likes the program but it is hard to commit without knowing what your other possibilities may be. On the other hand, it would stink to turn down a program you like and get in no where else. This is going to be a long year!
@belleforbroadway - Find out chapter and verse on that rule, and if and when you get to that fork in the road, I would gently cite the rule and ask for more time. This assumes that the program in question wasn’t early decision (it doesn’t sound like it) or rolling admissions (I have never heard of rolling admissions in a performing arts program, but I guess there’s a first time for everything). Knowledge is power!
@belleforbroadway. This is my opinion. I would wait till all your acceptances are in. I don’t want to assume but does your daughter have auditions in January and February? I would wait till all your cards are on the table artistically, academically and financially. I see no reason why you would need to make a commitment now unless it is her dream school. And really that dream school might change by April. Best of luck on your journey.
The more I think I know about this crazy process, the less I actually know about this crazy process 
@belleforbroadway - The NACAC Statement of Principles of Good Practice, which almost all schools are part of, require schools to permit candidates to choose among offers of admission until May 1 - and the May 1 deadline “applies to any academic major or special program to which the candidate has been offered admission” (see excerpt below of the NACAC rules below). I believe the part of the rule stating that this “applies to any academic major or special program” was added within the past few years, so some theatre departments may not be aware of the rule and still believe that the May 1 deadline only applies to offers of admission to the university, not offers for specific majors (the old rule).
A good first step might be to contact the department and politely request an extension as the deadline approaches (I don’t think there is any benefit in attempting to address the issue at this point).
If you want to push the issue, you can contact the admissions office for the college, inform them of the situation, and ask them to intervene with the department. Admissions counselors should be happy to work out a solution to a problem like this.
@EmsDad - thank you…I knew one of the veterans would know where to find the rule!
@belleforbroadway my daughter had an offer last year early . Like Dec. or late nov? Anyway they wanted her to say yay or nah and my D just emailed the MT director and said “I’m very interested in your program but cannot make a commitment right now as I have further auditions & my family & I need to evaluate financial aid” they said that was fine & to keep them posted. It never became a factor later but they seemed to expect her to say that tbh. She ended up not going there but did consider the school down to last decisions.
Plus when your D ends up mentioning the financial aid factor and parents needing to see how the $ works out, they tend to back off lol.
Are there BFA programs that offer ED?
@Sammy8028 NYU offers ED and it is binding if accepted.
This 2008 NYT article is a little dated (especially the price of tuition and the near-ubiquitous use of coaches nowadays), but it still hits the nail on the head for the most part. Cut and paste in your browser: https://nyti.ms/2ljWcvY
@EastchesterMom what an awesome article. I will be sharing it with my S this weekend.
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@EmsDad, @Ducky312, @EastchesterMom, @artskids, @bfahopeful Thank you all so much for your input and taking the time to give me advice. I feel well armed now to help my daughter deal with it appropriately. I am so thankful for everyone here. I have no one in my area that I can ask these kinds of questions to.
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@belleforbroadway When S auditioned for music programs last year, he had some schools really pressuring him priot to the deadline. It turned out they just wanted students who were definitely a NO to turn down the offer so they could open a spot for someone else. When he told them he was seriously considering their programs but would need to get all his complete offers, it was no problem at all.
That said, it is good form to turn down an offer the minute you know your D is not going to accept it. 
@belleforbroadway - Neither did I - CC saved my D, and I have been gratefully trying to pay it forward ever since, as have many other veterans out there.
Guess what, on a whim I googled the name of the young man in the 2008 NYT article. He graduated with honors from Gettysburg College with a BA in Drama/Theatre Arts. Then he got a MA from the Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama in 2013. He has a couple of IMDb credits, notably, he played Nurse Billy in the movie “Dr. Strange” in 2016. He’s making it as a working actor!
I need advice so I’m turning to the professionals. My daughter has received 3 acceptances to her safety schools. One of which is a very high contender if her #1 doesn’t work out. She has auditions scheduled for her #1 and 2 other schools that have offered academic acceptance so she has 3 absolutes and 3 that she in the school and needs to audition for program she also has 9 other schools that she has sent in applications for and done prescreens for and is waiting on those results. Now she is thinking that she doesn’t really want to even go to some of the schools we are waiting on. We would be saving so much time and money not auditioning and the pressure would be lessened and she could really just prep for the 3 auditions she has scheduled. If for some reason they don’t work out she does have the safety that she really did like in the bag. I am so torn, one part of me wants her to follow through and be able to have a ton of options but my realist side sees that if she doesn’t get into her #1 dream she will be at #1 safety so why bother with all the others. So if she were to drop the 9 we are waiting to hear from should she formally withdraw her app or do you just let it fall by the wayside? And more importantly are we shooting ourselves in the foot? I hope this is somewhat coherent, if not I apologize.
@emdcollege - Congrats on the early success! If you have visited the 9 schools and she is now positive that she would not attend even if accepted, the right thing to do is to formally withdraw her application. If she hasn’t visited, or at least spoken to faculty/students/alumni, how/why is she certain that she no longer wants that school? The fit between the artist and the program is so critical - you really don’t know if you rely only on the school’s reputation, website, word of mouth, etc. There are kids trying to transfer, and even dropping out, every year - guess why. It’s still early in the game; do a little more research before you decide. But if a school is a definite no, then a formal withdrawal is the correct thing to do.
I remember reading that article when my daughter was going through the process. Great read!
@emdcollege I agree with @EastchesterMom - you should be very careful about canceling auditions unless your D is absolutely sure she wants to attend the school(s) for which she has received acceptances. Having said that, it is not an uncommon practice to cancel auditions for schools which your child has placed below the one(s) to which she has received acceptances. Keep in mind before you cancel that the acceptances need to be both academic and artistic. It wasn’t clear to me that her safety acceptances included artistic acceptances.