Thank you. I appreciate the idea to not talk anymore at this point. This has been such a hard process. I could just let him know I’m always here if he wants to talk, and reduce the conversations to travel and scholarships. I’d also like him to know that everything will be OK, so I guess that would require a little bit more talking if he comes to me.
While we did discuss expectations, we did not make plans A, B and C, which was smart of you to do. I know where he really wants to go and I know which schools are safeties, but I don’t know much about his vision for the doable mid-list schools. I think that enthusiasm will grow if he can visit.
I got some good advice here last time around regarding ‘not talking’. When your child exits the audition room you don’t ask anything about it. Instead you offer food, drink or anything else random. Later, when your child is ready they will share.
Yes! We went straight to food. I asked in general how it went after we were no longer on the campus. By now, several weeks later, he’s offered some fun details.
ETA I think I got this advice here, too. I asked if he wanted me to go with him or stay nearby during the audition. He gave a very kind heck no…exactly what I expected and what I would have wanted, so I got it.
It is a crazy hard process - so much more work than with my older (not a musician) son - with all the prescreens and auditions. My son was so burned out by the time he put in that last application. (They really need a better way to do this - like a “common app” for prescreens).
I was not always successful at staying off college topic and yes, exactly, sometimes I would just say to him - "how are you feeling about it all today? I am here if you want to talk " and I believe he appreciated that even if he didn’t feel like talking. I think the experience of performing for so many years has built in a resilience for music kids. Mine was a pretty cool customer through most of this process - at least on the outside.
Exactly. We created a huge bulletin board with index cards to try to wrangle it.
Beyond the logistical nightmare there was the stress of trying to perfectly perform so many pieces while also looking professional and having a great sounding recording. My son had to record 10 different pieces. Too much. I say let the students create a music “portfolio” like fine art students do - surely that will give a school enough to decide if they want to offer an audition.
After we took in the exciting good news about his acceptance (which came through a live audition with no screening) my son and I looked at each other and said " All those prescreens!" Hours and hours of work and in the end, not needed.
because almost every female is a soprano so just a huge volume of auditions are sopranos. That being said mine started out as a soprano but now sings as a mezzo and might even be a contra-alto. Voice change as you age and my kid tells me females don’t mature until 30 so long time for her.
Also there are always more girl singers than boys. I guess some boys think “it’s for girls” or something along those lines, because all the way through high school and college the voice things my daughter has been a part of have always been well supplied with girls but never enough boys. The opera at her university- the girls roles all double cast, the boys roles - not. I don’t fully understand what keeps the boys away, my earlier sentence was just a guess.
Yes! My son is a vocalist and has been landing lead roles and solos since we can remember partially due to his talent, of course, but also due to the fact there are so few male vocalists. My daughter on the other hand (soprano 2) has to fight tooth and nail and has been disappointed more often than not. Overall, Vocal performance is competitive. There is no doubt about that but the male field is certainly less crowded!
And yes, voices, male and female,will continue to change over lifetime. My husband’s (also a vocalist) voice is not what is was when he was in his twenties
I’m always so envious of the men. My daughters boyfriend is a tenor and he is very very good, but he’s also one of the few tenors at their school so he gets every lead, solo, etc. he probably would even in a more competitive situation but it’s way less stressful this way.
Just joining in on the VP love. My D started as a pretty solid mezzo and has slowly moved up. Her UG teacher said to her early on: I think I hear a soprano in there. My D is terrified to be a soprano. She is 30 now and she is a lyric mezzo but can sing soprano 2 as well…as long as it’s not a big role. In MT, she can do either mezzo or soprano (of course within the higher or lower ranges of those voice types).
She told me as she was reaching 29…I wish that I could go back and tell myself at 22 to mellow out. She was working again on a piece that she had sang in grad school…which was so challenging…and at nearly 29, it was a joy to sing. It took her voice fully coming in…but also just a lot more experience with music…performing, technique work, expanded repertoire…it finally started to all come together…where before there were always aspects that seemed “out of control”.
For VP, it’s a loooong game. So again, not going straight to grad school is OK. But if it works for you do it. No doubt throughout your 20s, you’ll continue to grow…a LOT.
And yes, it’s easier for the guys. In opera (and MT), there are more male roles. Guys used to (and probs still are some places) paid more (supply and demand was the excuse). This is another element of equity that I’m noticing some of the more progressive (and smaller operas) and music theater house acknowledging by making sure that their year isn’t all about the “guys” with one shining soprano…and an old woman (mezzo). It IS getting better…hopefully we don’t slide back…
Young voices haven’t necessarily quite have found where they are going to land. My son (current UG senior) auditioned for UG as a baritone, oh my gosh, his voice has come WAY up since he was a freshman and his range is quite a bit larger too. I don’t know that he is quite a tenor, but he’s definitely a higher and more developed bari if nothing else. He is getting put on more tenor parts. Hindsight, he was quite an immature vocalist when he was applying. Well I guess he still is.
I do think if you are applying as a more mature vocalist or if your vocals just settle when you’re younger that can make a difference at those UG auditions. My kid applying this year is old for grade and she is SO much more prepared than she would have been a year ago. Vocally, but also in terms of confidence and she will handle the process better. She is labelled a soprano but some teachers might call her a mezzo (according to her current teacher).
I do think teachers in strong music programs will just pass on un or under prepared UG male singers if they aren’t ready as well. When my son was applying it always seemed like there were plenty of guys around on audition day and it sure didn’t feel easy. Where he clicked with someone though he got great offers. The program my son is currently in seems to have a good supply between UG and grad students and do double cast the guys in some roles. And maybe they budget better to get guys in - my kid did get a financial offer we didn’t expect from this school (in a very good way). But there are most definitely plenty more treble singers.
My son has a deeper voice. Hes applying for vp as he wants instruction on how to improve. He does MT as well. The deeper voice is a blessing and a curse at the same time.
Regarding calls about timeline or process, there’s one school that my kid keeps not calling. Grr. We need both the timeline for music decision and a portal login so he can do a scholarship application. What do you think about a parent making that call?
Have you tried emailing? We have done that as a first line. And at times that has meant me typing up something, forwarding it to kid and standing over kid and watching her forward to a music or admissions dept?
That might be worth a try first if you can give it 24-48 hours anyway and if you don’t hear as a parent calling and saying “my kid emailed and is at school but we need this piece of info”. I really don’t think it is the end of the world if a parent makes some of these calls anyway. Students are in school during most open office hours when someone would be available to pick up.
Right! This morning my son is making two other calls during study hall.
I’ve actually talked to this admissions officer before, when I had some questions about a virtual event, so he already knows me. It’s a really friendly school. I’ll ask my son to email.
if he comes to me.
It’s a really friendly school. I’ll ask my son to email.