<p>@Bestfriendsgirl - I was thinking girls don’t just aim and pray? But then on the girls’ side there’s the hair and just stuff. I guess it balances out in the end.</p>
<p>I lived in both kinds of dorms in college (co-ed freshman dorm, then lost in the dorm lotter – took what i could get, which was an all-women’s dorm). I ended up staying in the women’s dorm for 2 years. It was SO MUCH MORE CIVILIZED than the 1st year co-ed dorm. No one ever puked outside my door, shouted in the halls at 2:00 am, or pulled the fire alarm in the middle of the night in the dead of winter. We have a beautiful living room with a grand piano, and no restrictions on male visitors. But I let my kids make their own choices. They are starting to have to make grown up choices anyway, and this is one where they have to live very directly with the consequences of their choices. </p>
<p>I will say that both my kids ended up with not-great roommates freshman year. That was a learning experience for them, too. If there is one thing I would discuss with my kids ahead of time (if I could do it over again), it is how to handle roommate conflict. Easier to put some ideas in their head before they get to college than in the heat of the moment when there is a conflict that has blown up and you are just finding out about it.</p>
<p>It’s a myth that women’s bathrooms are cleaner than men. You forget how much stuff girls have… the hair but also periods and all the mess that can goes with that. You forget how in public restrooms, it’s the women’s that gets the most traffic by young children. Women use more TP. Boys generally have the use of the urinals or the toilets… girls, those stalls get heavy use.</p>
<p>Boys never have the pretty waiting room attached but for the most part, outside of a truck stop, the upkeep on the men’s room is far better than on the girls. </p>
<p>Fwiw, I lived in a co-ed dorm for both years I was on campus in what’s considered one of the biggest party schools in the country. No one ever puked outside of my door and I was constantly on the guy’s side because I get along with guys a lot better. I’m not sure I would’ve had nearly as many friends in a single-sex dorm.</p>
<p>Just let your son decide. </p>
<p>As for in-your-dorm dating, it can be awkward if you break up but sometimes it can work out well. I was warned against it, but ended up dating the boy in the room below me. We’re getting married next year ;).
OTOH, I had several friends who dated within dorms. There were no terrible break-ups so it was fine. Everyone was mature about it. </p>
<p>My son chose a coed floor because “guys can be a little crude when girls aren’t around” He had a great experience with his hall being very close.</p>
<p>First, congratulations on your S’s acceptance to Skidmore. But IMO this is something your S need to decide on not you (and that is coming from a pretty involved parent). You can discuss the different situations with him, but he should choose the environment he wants to live in. Here are some offhand random comments.</p>
<p>-It is important to pay attention to how the co-ed dorms are set up. Many dorms are co-ed by floor or by hall and often bathrooms are not co-ed. See if he is comfortable with how things are set-up in the co-ed dorms at Skidmore. Both of my kids independently opted for dorms that were co-ed by floor/hall with single sex bathrooms and it worked out well for them. If the bathrooms in co-ed dorms are co-ed, he needs to consider if that is something he is OK with.</p>
<p>-Wellness should only be considered as an option if that is 100% what your son wants and is committed to. It is unfair to him and to others in the dorm to encourage him to enter a wellness dorm when he wants to have even an occasional drink with friends.My S did a wellness dorm freshman year (he didn’t drink at all) and was upset by how many people went into the wellness program because it was housed in a “really nice” dorm or because their parents pressured them to. A number of these people drank/smoked and hurt the overall dorm while others who really wanted the wellness dorm experience got closed out of it.</p>
<p>-Up to him if he wants a single sex dorm. It was not especially attractive to either one of my kids, but they both have friends who were in single sex dorms and liked it.</p>
<p>Women’s bathrooms are DISGUSTING.
I’m still going to be in an all-women dorm in college, though. I’m thrilled- it’s just so much more chilled. (Okay, okay, so it’s because it’s an all-women’s college… but it was even better because of that; I mean, when I was there girls literally wore sweats to class. It just looked fun, nobody was trying to put on a show. It was real. I know people have said the same about other all-women programs as well.)</p>
<p>Is it unusual to wear sweats to class?
We live in the nW, people wear * pajamas* both to college, but also to high school.</p>
<p>Some could say those who wear pajamas to class are the ones putting on a show. That they don’t care about class enough to get dressed properly. It can be seen either way. ;)</p>
<p>It’s not unusual for students to wear sweats to class. Students wear what they’re comfortable in which is most important. I generally don’t wear sweats, unless you count leggings and crew-necks sweats, to class only because I feel underdressed. </p>
<p>When I was in college most of us wore whatever was on the floor next to the bed. Usually semi-clean jeans and a tshirt. :)</p>
<p>I remember visiting BU and being stunned to see so many girls in SKIRTS!</p>
<p>And then there was my DD2’s college with coed bathrooms…</p>
<p>There’s also the bathroom type to consider, regardless of genders. I would much rather have the bathroom down the hall than one in the suite that the suite members are responsible for cleaning themselves (my source on this sort of suite is CC). </p>
<p>You don’t have to attend an all women’s college (shudder- can’t imagine giving up the top notch research U for one of those) to have casual dress.</p>
<p>
Been there. Found out it wasn’t my cup of tea. One thing with communal bathrooms is that I found there was a lack of privacy. There was always someone walking in when you got “comfortable”. I switched to a suite soon a couple weeks into freshman year. At my university, the suite bathrooms are cleaned either once a week or twice a week. Plus, if they like you, they’ll sweep your bedroom floor! :))</p>
<p>"You don’t have to attend an all women’s college (shudder- can’t imagine giving up the top notch research U for one of those) to have casual dress. "</p>
<p>Pu leeze. So you wouldn’t send your kid to Swarthmore, Amherst, Williams, Oberlin, Middlebury, …or another one of those “non-research” U’s? The top women’s schools are up there on a par with those. </p>
<p>The punctuation police recommend that you hyphenate single-sex. without it, this thread takes on a whole new meaning. :)</p>
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<p>That is pretty rude. I would send my kid to a couple of them I can think of before I would send them to the “top notch research U” I attended as an undergrad – huge, impersonal, many TAs who barely spoke English, professors who were so full of themselves they had no time for lowly undergrads and didn’t have much in the way of teaching skills to start with. No thanks.</p>
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But, yet… ;)</p>
<p>Oops, I see that I hit the wrong emoticon. Thanks for the correction.</p>
<p>Many kids grow up sharing bathrooms with siblings of the opposite sex. </p>
<p>My son is in a coed suite. You just wait until the person is done using the bathroom before you go in. My d is going to be in a co-ed dorm by floor. The south tends to separate the kids more than the north. Bathrooms will be gross regardless of the situation, imo. Whether they take turns cleaning them or the staff of the school cleans them it’s not going to be “home” clean. </p>
<p>My son chose a sub-free room, not dorm. He and roommate both agreed no substances in the room and stuck to it. </p>
<p>
To me, going to class, etc. in pajamas is what going out with your hair in curlers was when I was growing up. </p>