<p>Deciding on housing for my son who will be going to Skidmore College this fall - and mulling over the pros and cons of
Co-ed vs single sex dorms. As well as "substance-free" vs general dorms. </p>
<p>Does he care?</p>
<p>You may want to read this thread <a href=“time mag article "Sexual Assault Crisis on American campuses" - Parents Forum - College Confidential Forums”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1653908-time-mag-article-sexual-assault-crisis-on-american-campuses.html</a> . Lots of frosh go into college naive about alcohol and sex, increasing the risk of getting into compromising situations in the early part of frosh year.</p>
<p>One D had single sex dorm by floor freshman year, the other had sub free coed.
Both had good experiences, I think it depends on the kid & the school.
I like coed dorms, I think they get to know a wider variety of people.</p>
<p>Many moons ago I was in the co-ed dorms and had a great experience. I was very comfortable with guys though… my friends were always guys, I was in a field that was male dominated at the time. Personally, the idea of living on a floor with only women sort of scared me. I imagined a lot of drama though that was probably unfair. I admit that as a mom though, I’m not crying over the fact that D’s college separates freshmen not only by their year but by sex (and not by floor… by buildings lol.) They have special circumstances for transgender kids but it wasn’t an issue for us so I didn’t ask for them to elaborate. In some ways, I think D would be happier in co-ed because she is very much the “little sister” sort but it’s not an option so we’ll see how it goes.</p>
<p>I’d let your son decide.</p>
<p>Id let the son decide as well, although for instance if he was in recovery, I would probably mandate that he be in sub free.</p>
<p>My D was in sub free at a tiny LAC mainly because she has ADD, and needs quiet to study and we decided together, that a dorm without substances would likely be calmer than a " quiet" dorm which only had to be that way after 10pm. ( Reeds dorm rooms are mostly divided doubles, allthough she was given a single, I guess because of the ADD, which i worried about at first, but she made it work for her)</p>
<p>She was first gen college & it was long before we found CC, so the learning curve was a little abrupt.
For instance, when we helped her move in we were a little surprised to see family style bathrooms.
I hadnt even thought of that. But it was fine, and as the dorm was relatively small ( I think about 25-30 students), it was like a family, or a club. They had two or maybe three bathrooms and they would vote whether to make them single sex or community. Generally they just wanted to be able to use the one that was closest to their room.</p>
<p>On the other hand, my daughter who was on a womens floor, and who had a shared room barely bigger than her sisters single ( although it was on the top floor with a cathedral ceiling and windows so it seemed much bigger), also had a good experience. Kids are pretty flexible.
( she did opt to move off campus the next year though)</p>
<p>I didn’t know there were single gender dorms still out there.</p>
<p>More common to have all women’s dorms than all male, I think. I believe the 3 all women dorms/buildings that were there when I went to U of MIchigan are still all female. Let your son decide. My D2’s college send the housing survey form directly to the student and does NOT include parents in the decision process. It works very well for them.</p>
<p>Co-ed dorms provide opportunities for enduring friendships between boys and girls. Sitting together in dining halls, seeing each other in sweat pants and studying together give more natural views of people as humans, rather than weekend ‘conquests’. </p>
<p>There is a stigma against developing a physical relationship with someone living in the same dorm, termed “dormcest”.Both parties know they will bump into each other so they are more cautious about casual hookups. </p>
<p>I agree with others . . . let him decide!!</p>
<p>I’ve always been curious about segregating freshmen from other students - are they trying to protect the impressionable freshmen from the bad influence of older students OR are they protecting the older students from crazed freshmen??? </p>
<p>Proud Mary: the latter!</p>
<p>Agree- let son decide. </p>
<p>A single gender dorm with no restrictions on visitation may as well be coed for the opposite sex in the halls so you can’t rely on no need to wear your robe etc just to go to a hall bathroom. A coed dorm with separate floors will only have the same gender sharing the floor, but likewise visitors from other floors. I noticed when son was in a coed dorm with alternate floors/same “house” that walking through the woman’s floor was so different than his. After a week and before classes got going the women’s rooms seen through open doors typically had nice decorating- bedspreads, wall stuff… while the men’s rooms seemed to only have tech gear.</p>
<p>Having both genders in the same building seems natural.</p>
<p>It just struck me as funny that most people prefer coed dorms and even find single sex dorms, especially for the guys, rather odd. But then for many kids at many schools, the first chance they get they join a fraternity or sorority and go off to live in a single sex house. Interesting…</p>
<p>Neither of my kids were interested in attending a school with Greeks.
Except for those who were dead.
Regarding freshmen dorms.
At older daughters college all freshmen take the same full time & 1/2 class.
Sharing a dorm makes it easier to continue discussions into the night.</p>
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<p>Not all schools do this. My D2 goes to a college where they have freshman in every dorm. Even some rooms in suites are reserved for freshman. This works really well, as it is a very difficult school academically. The older students really mentor and help the freshman, it is an integral part of the school culture to have mixed age dorms, IMHO. My D2 (freshman this year) went to graduation to see off a couple of seniors she got to know well through this mixed housing arrangement. We did see a few other schools that also reserve spots in each dorm for freshman when touring colleges, too.</p>
<p>My university integrates and segregates simultaneously. They have all freshmen dorms, and mixed dorms, but the precedent is that freshmen room with freshmen. They try not to have a junior paired in a room with a freshman. </p>
<p>OP, you should let your son decide on what dorm he should live in. After all, it is he who will be waking up the environment and he who will be having to live in it. Go with what he is comfortable with. </p>
<p>
It is definitely the latter! If I wasn’t a mentor this upcoming academic year for freshmen, I would be in an entirely different dorm for the obvious reasons. :))</p>
<p>
It’s termed a little different in my dorm based on the layout, but “dormcest” is a hell of a thing to deal with. Things get messy and everyone will know. </p>
<p>I shudder at the thought of bathrooms in an all male dorm. I guess, if the college has a great housekeeping staff, it’s okay.</p>
<p>Let your son decide.</p>
<p>I guess I was odd, but I LOVED being in an all-women dorm. Mine was a beautiful private dorm. It was so strict that guys could only visit one day a semester. Even in the 80s, that was considered very old-fashioned! But it meant we could wander around in our underwear if we wanted. I got to know most of the girls on my hall really well. I lived there all four years.</p>
<p>The dorm has more visiting hours for men now, but they are still limited. I guess they’ve done away with the nightly sit-down dinners, although they kept the Sunday dinner that way.</p>
<p>@SlackerMomMD - I don’t know about all that. My brother worked as a custodian all through high school and college and he said women’s restrooms were usually a thousand times worse.</p>
<p>Although I went to a women’s college, my dorm freshman year (1971) was coed, because of the 12 College Exchange. There were 6 or 7 guys, all together in their own little wing. (The entire dorm was only about 130 people.) The freshman rooms were all grouped together at the end of the hall on a couple of floors, and the “Vil Juniors”–aka RAs for freshmen only–lived adjacent to us. A junior who lived almost across the hall from us had her boyfriend, a Harvard grad student, living with her. And there were guys around all the time, visiting. So it was a combination of the situations described above.</p>
<p>I would definitely say that the other students needed protecting from us, rather than the other way round. :)</p>
<p>My S’s college has coed freshman dorms, single sex by room or suite but both genders on every floor. Every floor has two bathrooms: one male, one female. It seemed to work out well. (I don’t know what the arrangements are for transgender students.) Again, these are not huge dorms. Probably a couple hundred students, max. The sub-free housing is a floor within the same dorms as everyone else, so they are not completely segregated.</p>
<p>Let your son decide, but generally I feel that co-ed is a good choice - young women and men should learn how to form platonic healthy relationships and living in the same building forsters that.</p>