I’m an extremely extroverted and involved student. I LOVED high school so much and was extremely active. I had great friends and family. Now i’m at college and i really like it and have a couple of close friends and am working on making more. i love my dorm and campus, classes are hard but they’re okay. but, i still don’t feel adjusted or right yet. i’m not homesick, i’m just not comfortable yet. it’s been three weeks, i’ve joined a sorority and other organizations but it just doesn’t feel fun. Like it’s so tiring and exhausting constantly trying to get comfortable with new friends. Everyone says college is so much better than high school but it doesn’t feel like it. How long until i’m comfortable and adjusted?
There’s your answer, right there.
You have been with your high school friends at least for four years, if not longer - my daughter had a group of friends in high school, many who she had known since kindergarten. Because of that, you forgot just how tiring it is to make new friends, while also adjusting to a new environment, a new system, etc. You also do not have your own room and bed to which to retreat every evening to rest and recharge.
You have been in a group in which you could read what was going on without putting much effort. You know that when Jane frowned like that, she needed a couple of moments, and when George started changing his position in that way, that meant he wanted to say something, etc. Now you need to focus a lot more and learn the personalities and behavioral nuances of a whole new group of people. Even for an extrovert that can be exhausting. It also takes a lot of the fun out of interacting.
Perhaps you should take it a bit slowly, and rather, than try and jump in and socialize with the same level of energy as you did in high school, take a bit more quiet time for yourself. I am a pretty extroverted person myself, and there is no way that I could be “on” for more than a few hours with people I do not yet know very well.
Also, allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. There is no rule which says that we have to be happy and adjusted all the time. There is no rule which says that things have to be “better than high school” within the first few weeks. Give it time.
You also don’t have to be the same person you were in high school. Part of who we are in any social group is determined by the group itself. You were, in part, defined by how you fit within that particular group. Trying to maintain the same shape when finding yourself in a different puzzle can also be exhausting. Perhaps you should try to find out who you are in this particular setting.
I attended three different elementary schools, three high schools, the military, and two different universities, and that is just my educational route. So I am pretty familiar with the travails of starting anew in different social groups. Every time you move, you feel that you will never be as comfortable with new friends as you were with your “old” friends. But it happens, and you will almost certainly be having as much fun in college as you had in high school.
Take care, and enjoy yourself, but do it responsibly! Don’t forget to wear your face mask and to socially distance yourself when you are with your friends!
Read these posts. Many feel the same as you do…because everyone is in the same boat.
Every person is different. I don’t think my D fully adjusted and felt like a “college student” until going back for Sophomore year. At the earliest.