College Admissions for Kids with Struggles/Diagnoses

Applying to College
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Hi. I’ve read that students with struggles…whether it is an external circumstance like illness of a parent, or more internal such as mental health diagnoses, etc, can get that information into their college apps to explain a drop in grades, lightening of courseload,etc. Is the main pathway that this happens a letter from the school college counselor or guidance counselor? I ask because my son, a high school junior, is in this boat…mental health struggles. He’s my third child so I am experienced with the college app process for kids without these circumstances. But would like more information, for those who have been through this, of how it happens. Our school college counselor, let’s just say I don’t have faith in her. She does not know my son at all, is not dialed into what he is going through at school now, and I have not been impressed with her with the other two kids (the school, on the other hand, meaning principal and teachers, is fantastic and is really doing a lot to help).

What are the general ways that ‘explanations’ for things on the transcript that have (hopefully) been overcome are communicated in the college app process? Thanks.

And further, is it a risk, to communicate that the student has mental health diagnoses and/or ADHD? And for reference, we are NOT talking top or elite schools here. We are hoping for any four year college or university, hoping that in the next year he has overcome his challenges and is ready for college.

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The general advice is not to disclose that type of information as it will not improve, and may harm, admission chances.

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The common wisdom is that you should NOT disclose mental health or other issues. The schools want to admit kids who are likely to succeed, and any struggles the student brings up can count against them.

Once the student is admitted, you go into action and contact the office for students with disabilities and come up with a plan.

And just remember, it’s not a race. It was obvious our middle child was not ready for college after his mental health struggles in high school, so we encouraged him to take some time off. He took 2 1/2 years off and completed two training programs through a Christian organization. He spent time in Jordan and Lebanon with the programs, and ended up going to college in Beirut. At 26, he’s thriving in France. If he had gone straight to college out of high school, it would have been a disaster.

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Some colleges have a prompt that asks for that type of information, that is the place to disclose that information and how your kid is beginning to overcome those challenges. Other than that, stay away from emailing them with that info or doing something similar. Additionally, I would suggest applying broadly around his range with a good number of safeties and maybe even consider transferring to a better school later; this will ensure your child has the best chance to succeed.

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This may seem obvious, but I would also be really attentive to the schools your son applies to. Does your son do better when he’s one of the best (try and have his stats be in the top 25% or so), or does he thrive when he is surrounded by high-achievers? Does he prefer the ability to be anonymous and blend in with the crowd, or does he prefer a more intimate environment where he feels seen and heard? What does the office of disability services offer? Are their services provided for a fee, or are they free to all with the necessary documentation?

How long does it take to get an appointment with a mental health provider? Are the sessions limited, and if so, to how many? Does the area have good broadband access (most campuses do, but if your child lives off-campus, that might become an issue)? This is important if your son is intending to have telehealth appointments with medical providers back home. Does your health insurance have good coverage in the areas where the college is located?

There are obviously more questions that could be asked, but trying to find the best fit for your son’s success is really crucial here. It could be that taking time off might be helpful, or it could be that your son could go straight to college at a certain type of institution but need a break before attending a different type.

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Thank you for the responses so far. While I find the answers helpful, and appreciate the encouragement for sure, I also am feeling pretty discouraged. Mental health problems in teens was a rising problem pre-pandemic, and from what I am reading affects 30-40% of high schoolers now, that’s a pretty large problem to ignore in admissions or keep hidden. The current juniors have had one semester of non-covid-life grades. :frowning:

So it sounds like it may be OK to somehow disclose the mono infection that knocked him out of a quarter, but not any mental health conditions. I realize that I sound bitter and it is not to those responding, it is to the situation in general.

@AustenNut thank you for that. We are definitely looking at fit and are fans of smaller schools/class sizes in general. And you raise important issues with services that will be important to look at as we get closer to building a list.

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I disagree with other posters on this and will PM you. Don’t despair!

The important thing is that he has found effective treatment. It is fine to mention mental health struggles in, say, and essay. I would not rely on a guidance counselor who does not know your kid. It is better if he is back to functioning well with treatment, so using a diagnosis to explain a dip in grades, for instance, is not recommended. Ditto with an ongoing medical issue, if that is any comfort.

It is also fine not to mention it. Once accepted he needs to register with the Office of Disabilities for accommodations. Submit documentation and for any letter signed by a professional, you can write it and list accommodations needed, and the professional can sign.

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Stress related problems in high school students are quite common in the US. This is probably partly caused by the fact that growing up is inherently stressful, and partly caused by the fact that we put way too much stress on our high school students. Humans also might just not be the most stable creatures in the world.

How you deal with this for university applications is a difficult question. However, I think that it is not the first question to ask.

To me the first question is how to deal with this in any particular case to make sure that the student is healthy and on the right track. Is there a treatment, or a change in environment, or counseling, or a medication, or a combination that will help to set things right and get the child on the right path?

Then you might want to consider what sort of university or college is the right fit for the student.

Then you can think about how to present things on an application. This is likely to go better if the illness has been well dealt with, and if the student has found a few colleges or universities that they are confident will be a good fit.

One professor I know has stated that he thinks that all of the smartest students that he has dealt with have suffered from depression at some point in their lives. He might be exaggerating, but at least this is common.

To me the main point would be to have a clear and credible reason to believe that the student will do well when they get to university.

And yes I agree that you need to be careful how this is presented on a university application. However, if you have come up with a good solution to the problem, to me this is likely to help with how it is presented.

One daughter had an acquaintance in high school who had 1 1/2 really bad years (grades 9 and the first half of 10) followed by 2 1/2 really good years of high school (second half of 10 and everything after that). This acquaintance applied to 25 colleges because they were so unsure where they would get in. However, they ended up with at least 15 acceptances, being successful in admissions at significantly more schools than they expected. I am pretty sure that they were happy where they ended up going, but we did not know her well enough to keep in touch once university started. Finishing high school well I think helped them a lot in admissions, and I would guess probably helped them after that.

I think that this is important also. If a student is not ready, then wait until they are. Life is not a race.

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It may not be fair, but it is better to be thought of as an immature late bloomer ( especially for a boy) than a mental health risk on campus. Admission officers are risk averse and trying to increase their percentage of on time graduates. Mono likely wont affect that; mental health issues may.

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Like @compmom I disagree with the flat “disclosing will hurt you” thinking. Either in an essay or short prompt or by providing the guidance counselor specific feedback for their letter, a challenge can be addressed. The story is how your student dealt with the challenge. So less “because A happened, my grades dropped to X” but more “Like many people my age, I’m learning to manage A and take control of my experience. Through building skills in self-advocacy, understanding my learning style and blah, blah, blah I know myself better than I ever thought I would at 18 and really look forward to contributing in a meaningful way moving forward.”
It’s what it taught you rather than what it did to you.
Colleges like maturity and resilience. Tell that story.

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Thank you @roycroftmom , looking at it that way helps.

@DadTwoGirls , yes, we are absolutely working on the first step which is a multi pronged treatment plan. The ultimate goal here is health and stability, not college acceptance; we do not have that backwards.

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Wow @ububumble truly eloquent!

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Yes. And it’s important to remember that most telehealth appointments can’t cross state lines, even if insurance coverage is good, unless the provider (doctor, therapist etc) holds an active state license to practice medicine in the state where the patient is physically located during the appointment. For example, if I am a doctor with only a Minnesota license, I can’t legally do telehealth with a patient of mine while the patient is located in Madison at the UW campus. (I would be able to do a legal visit with this patient only if I also held a Wisconsin license or the patient crossed back into Minnesota for each telehealth visit.)

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Thanks! My insurance (self insured) doesn’t cover telehealth, which seems pretty unethical in today’s world, where at times my provider would ONLY make telehealth visits due to covid. But that’s a battle for another day. It’s a great point to realize that for this kid, mental health services will be a part of choosing the fit of a college.

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Very well said!

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It’s frustrating when organizations won’t stay up with the times. The state of New York is still requiring that half of continuing education credits for professional engineers be in person. But nobody is putting on in-person seminars at this point! He completed enough online credits and just put “yes” for the question about fulfilling the education requirement. I hope he doesn’t get audited.

My son’s psychiatrist is seeing him in his office. He said almost all his appointments are virtual now, though.

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Its really not fair for students dealing with mental health struggles in high school. I completely get you. But you have to realize that college admissions counselors are in no way bound to treat your child more ‘fairly’ than a student who suffered from a broken leg.

There are federal laws that prevent discrimination, but under the guise of “holistic review” these admissions committees basically get to do whatever they want. To further obscure things, during the recent trend of FERPA requests to see admissions deliberations, most college admissions offices have scrubbed their notes. So it makes it impossible to see what they were thinking when making an admissions decision.

Its far easier to deny a student who may potentially have mental health issues, than to hope they make it. The admissions counselors are not mental health professionals. They have no way to distinguish someone who has mild autism vs a more serious pathology like homicidal ideation.

So for all of these reasons, I agree with the others to keep your son’s mental health struggles private, and to refer to them in general terms – about overcoming challenges without getting into details.

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I am a student who had mental health struggles in hs that put me out of school for months at time and lowered my grades. I still got into the NESCAC, t20 public schools and I didn’t get rejected anywhere. What I did was in the additionally info section I put a statement about how I struggled with medical issues my first two years of high school that put me out of school for months of time and significantly impacted my ability to perform academically. And it worked. I think it’s a huge mistake not to say anything because that takes away from the students story and often time leaves bad transcripts with no explanation which can be worse. Tho I agree stating mental health could be a mistake (disagree with a lot of these posters tho because I actually know people who have talked about mental health struggles and got into t50s it’s about the way you approach it) but it’s definitely safer just to say something vague like medical issues. Leaves things open ended but also explains poor academic performance. Colleges care WAY more about context then most people know. Good luck :slight_smile:

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YOU parents shouldn’t ignore this when looking for colleges. Do your due diligence in terms of finding colleges that have supports for students with the issues your student has. Some colleges are better than others.

Other things you should consider (in my opinion)…

  1. Proximity to off campus mental health services. OR proximity to home so your student can continue with the provider they currently have. You need to also check your insurance to see if OOS services can be covered.

  2. How well does this student advocate for himself? And does he or she recognize when to ask for help?

@MaineLonghorn does NAMI have any podcasts or courses related to college selections?

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@TS0104

I think you’ve gotten a lot of good advice on this thread (and I am sure you received even more via PM).

As we’ve been helping D23 with her college search, we’ve come to realize that her particular set of requirements is leading to a much smaller number of colleges that will ultimately work for her (and our budget) than the search we had with D20. Her choices are limited.

Right now, we have found six schools that meet her needs and also fit the budget. Of those, she likes three enough to want to apply. As we’ve looked for other schools that might work, we keep on getting stuck not on minor stuff but on non-negotiable stuff.

D23 may well apply only to the three schools we have already identified. She has visited two of them, the third would probably be visited after admission results are in next year. Thankfully, these are very likely schools for her to be accepted to.

While I know this can fly in the face in the advice often given here - I think it is more than ok if your child’s list of schools is fairly small if you can find schools that fit the budget and fit your child’s needs that they are likely to be accepted. They can only attend one school, after all.

When your child has specific needs (not wants) and you have a budget to maintain, the list of appropriate schools may well be fairly small. Don’t be discouraged if this college search is different than the ones often described on CC, remind yourself that the point of this process is to find the school that will be the best match for your child and their needs. And no school will be perfect.

I am sure there are schools are there that will want your child, and will have the resources to support him throughout his college career. Remain open minded with when looking at schools and the new criteria by which you may be judging them. And remember that this process is to find your son his best school, not to find The Best School ™.

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