College advice for "recovering child

My child was attending a good high school on the east coast and by all accounts doing well mid-way through junior year. GPA was UW 3.47 and Weighted 4.0. Mainly Honors and AP courses, no ECs to speak of. Turns out there were lots of problems going on (substance abuse, skipping school, etc) and we (i.e., parents) decided a therapeutic boarding school was the best option.

Child would have graduated high school in June 16 but will now graduate December 15. Credits will be from the former high school and the boarding school. Seems as if things are better but only time will tell. Plans are to take the ACT in October. Child has indicated that he/she wants to go to college and all have decided it’s best to start at community college in January 16. I am leaning towards doing CC for 1-2 years to get an idea how things are going before going to a 4 year uni, mom/child want to do CC initially but begin college Fall 2016. I am probably ok with their plan as long as CC and behaviors are reasonable.

What types of colleges could child get accepted to? We would prefer east coast, probably MD, VA, NC, SC area. Child will not qualify for any aid.

Sorry for being vague but doing so for privacy issues. Thanks very much for any advice on the colleges.

I’m unsure about what you’re looking for. It seems as though your child will go to a local community college before transferring to a larger university. Are you asking for additional college suggestions beyond simply the local CC? Are you asking about what colleges the child can get accepted to in the mid Atlantic area after CC? Sorry, I’m just unclear about the purpose of this post.

What are the people at the boarding school saying?

Sorry if I was not clear. I am asking for suggestions for 4 year universities for which child could enter in Fall 2016 on the east coast given the transcript they will have. I am wondering if anyone is familiar with similar situations? It would seem many colleges might want to avoid students from these types of boarding schools until they have a better track record? I do not want to admit it but probably I am looking for support for my opinion to go to CC for a longer period of time, then transfer.

I think my concern/issue that I am coming to terms with is that we felt child was going to be able to enter some pretty decent colleges and then things deteriorated so I feel that we are looking at colleges that may be quite expensive for what we get. I do understand that we do not deserve to go to the top universities that were once possible.

There have been quite a few kids from the boarding school that have gone to 4 year universities, most of those finished up at their high school though, instead of entering straight from the boarding school. I do need to spend much more time with the boarding school staff over the next few months. Details of situation have been that only recently did it seem college was a possibility.

Thanks for your response, your questions helped me understand my situation better…

With a 3.7, numerous APs, and presumably average to above average test scores, there are plenty of schools your son could enter in the mid-Atlantic area. These range from St. Mary’s College of Maryland (a rural, secular public) to James Madison to Elon University.

The real question is, should he go to those schools? You said your son had substance abuse issues which were presumably severe enough to land him in a therapeutic boarding school. He may be sober now, but what happens when he gets to college, away from the parents? Statistically the average college student drinks much more than the average high schooler and has plenty of access to drugs.

I have zero expertise in any of this, but my gut says you’re on the right track. I’d give your kid plenty of time to establish a firm foundation before launching into the college experience. And then maybe look for schools that offer substance-free housing. Being surrounded by kids who are choosing not to indulge (at least not where they live) can only help.

OP, you may want to cross post this in the parent’s forum.

@porcupine98 I don’t think substance free housing does much to deter someone determined to drink and/or do drugs. And by much, I mean I believe it to be totally ineffective.

I’m wondering what the rush to college is - even CC. Maybe this is a kid who would benefit from some additional time to mature and to think through what he wants from his education and his life - in short, gap year (or two). He can take a class or two at the local CC as an adult learner, rather than enrolled as a degree candidate while he explores a bit, but doing some meaningful work or volunteering with an organization he cares about might expand his ideas about what the professional options are out there. After that, he may be ready to apply to a 4 year Uni directly with clearer sense of purpose.

I can understand if your initial response to this idea is resistence: Most parents want to get everything back to ‘normal’ - i.e., the familiar - as soon as possible because that’s where their comfort zone is. But some kids need space to figure out their own road and hustling them ‘back on track’ isn’t their best choice. Just food for thought.

I would be very comfortable (and prefer) your suggestion. Child and mom want to push forward with college.

@whenhen I agree that substance-free housing wouldn’t stop someone who was, as you say, “determined” to drink and/or do drugs. However, surely it would be a more supportive environment than the alternative for someone struggling to stay on a sober path.

If you and your spouse are not on the same page, perhaps it makes sense to talk to a third party about this. A college consultant might be able to give you some perspective on how your S’s application would be perceived with and without the gap year. A family therapist - I assume you already have one if your S has been in treatment - can help the two of you talk through your different perceptions of what is in S’s best interests going forward. Trusted friends/family who haven’t gone the ‘straight and narrow’ - high school to college to grad school/work - might also provide some valuable insight.

We had our ‘panel of parenting experts’ which were basically friends whom we agreed had ‘got it right’ and we talked to them often about our concerns, especially when spouse and I weren’t on the same page on something that mattered. Their perspectives were invaluable and even when we didn’t take their advice, it reminded us that there is not any one right way and to be kind to ourselves since kids don’t come with instruction manuals.

Attending CC (or any college) for a semester after high school graduation will likely disqualify him from applying as a frosh to many four year schools. This may require committing to CC for a few more semesters in order to become transfer-ready from the point of view of the various four year schools. Also, merit scholarships may be less available to transfer students, if that is a concern. The various four year schools may have different policies on all these aspects, so check each of them.

What does your child’s team at the therapeutic school suggest? Take advantage of their expertise.

As mentioned above, for some colleges and universities even taking one college-level class after high school graduation will turn that applicant into a transfer applicant. Each college/university sets its own policy about this, so your family needs to do some investigation. If money is an issue for your family, and your child wants a 4-year college/university, then taking a gap semester with no classes anywhere and applying for fall 2016 is the better choice.

While none of us has enough information to opine as to the best course of action (and I agree with @happymomof1 that you should seek out the advice and experiences of the team at your child’s therapeutic school), starting at a CC seems like a reasonable plan. However, I wouldn’t worry at all about where your child could transfer into in a year or two --for now I’d focus on having your child stay healthy and doing his/her best at the CC and see where things go. Take things one step at a time. Best of luck moving forward.

Is there any way via IEP to transfer back into the public school system and “graduate per IEP” while pursuing Transition? That way, would the HS transcript reflect the public school rather than the Residential Treatment School?

At any rate, I think you can expect some discrimination by adcoms toward any student with a disclosed history of mental illness, substance abuse, or behavior disorder. An RTC transcript would indicate the student might not be stable. It’s not fair, but colleges seem to not want to accept students with these backgrounds. So, my thought would be to apply to many smaller colleges that would be a good fit for which the student would be among the top quartile for admitted students stats. I don’t think community college is the route to go.

Just 2 cents.

@dyiu13

Where did it say the student had an IEP? I didn’t see that anywhere. Many students at therapeutic treatment programs do not have IEPs.

It did not. That’s the point. Register with the LSD, request eval for IEP, aim to get Graduation by IEP (not by completing grad reqs) so Transition would be covered and supported and degree would be based in the LSD rather than RTC. (Typing on phone.)