<p>I think I would say that what would be more accurate is that some guys can't stand it to be outpaced- outthrown- out anything by a * girl*</p>
<p>However I also know stay at home dads- who are quaite happy- their wives are more competitive, more career oriented and the dads are good at doing the "mom" thing and are much appreciated in the community</p>
<p>DRj4
[quote]
AnxiousMom,</p>
<p>Thank you for correcting my mistake and I'm sorry if I offended you by inadvertently questioning your daughter's elite National Merit status
[/quote]
Nope, you didn't offend me, and I did not correct your mistake in order to try to impress people or to bring attention to my daughter. The mention of her status was to show how I had personal knowledge of the issue -and how I knew that your information was not correct. I personally think that the PSATs are a silly thing to hang an award on, and, although I am happy that DD benefited from it, there are tons of smart, focused, even more brilliant kids out there that did not receive similar benefits.</p>
<p>And for all of you proclaiming that your daughters like to be top of the heap, and will not "submit theirselves" to men... :( I'm sure in your daughter's case this is true - but for some really, really, really troubling reading and absolutely disturbing information, take a look at this. <a href="http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/10464110/sex_scandal_at_duke%5B/url%5D">http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/10464110/sex_scandal_at_duke</a> Thank goodness that my strong-willed daughter is similar in this respect to Tsdad or Curmudegeon's! (And check out the forum about sexual mores on the Parent Cafe, where this article is discussed.)</p>
<p>Anxious:</p>
<p>Tsdad's child is a son. Pretty strongwilled though. I think you meant TheDad's child.</p>
<p>Oops! My bad!</p>
<p>
[quote]
But, what do these girls look for in a spouse? Studies show that succesful women STILL want a spouse that is "smarter, stronger, more succesful..."
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Ran this by my D, she said "No. He needs to be in my league, but whether he's a little ahead, even, or little behind doesn't matter." I can say that she'd be bored stiff in a relationship with a guy who doesn't have verbal abilities at or near her level. Or one who is intimidated by her.</p>
<p>The film school comparison between Dig's and TSDad's sons is interesting. In my book, they're both high-level "winners" and it will be interesting to see how their respective careers play out.</p>
<p>TheDad -- what are the odds that any of us will meet someone who is exactly the same regarding intellectual ability and interests? The differences are what make life interesting. Like your D, I would not have been happy with someone who wasn't in the same ballpark, but I can tell you that my verbal abilities are probably better than my H's. However, his math/spatial reasoning is way beyond mine. Fortunately, the kids seem to have inherited HIS math skills and MY verbal skills. It would have been a disaster if they'd ended up with my math skills!</p>
<p>???? SJMom, never said anything about either "interests" or "exactly the same," so it appears you're responding to something I didn't say.</p>
<p>My D is fortunate that she did not wind up with TheMom's sense of direction. Her math skills are better than either of ours and in the general population I'm no slouch...made it through 2-1/2 years of engineering school. However, unless the guy is positively innumerate, I doubt that characteristic will signify with her at all, either way.</p>
<p>TheDad, I was agreeing with you!</p>
<p>sjmom as you know this BB world can be a little creaky at times. (LOL. I read your post as agreeing also.)</p>
<p>my spouse is much less verbal than I- he is more organized and spatial.
I had hopes that , that would rub off... oh...well
We have similar interests- but I love to debate and to him it sounds like an argument.
We are probably equally smart but in different ways-
We did stay up very late on some of our dates, but um verbalizing wasnt exactly where we were spending most of our time- of course that could be because we were. so. young.</p>
<p>I have to weigh in on this discussion, particularly since my daughter is intending on a career in the same field (different emphasis) as Digison and Tsson. She considered EC and UST...the very same schools attended by Tsson and Digison...but instead chose NeverheardofitU (at least to most folks). She'll probably be a bit of a big fish in a small pond overall, but in the technical areas, she recognized she still has much to learn. Because she can start on Day One with hands-on training and experience, she was drawn to NHOIU. Because she wanted to continue her study of music as well, and because she recognized that many people aspiring for her career start out working on music videos, she liked that NHOIU would allow (and assist) her in obtaining a double major. Even though NHOIU doesn't have lots of internships in film, they have many opportunities in television broadcasting and stage/theatre areas, and she's confident she can make these work for her. She's also keenly aware that she has more contacts in the industry than many of her peers, so the lack of film internships through NHOIU was not a deal-breaker; she has possibilities for internships pending even now as a newly-minted high school graduate. And because of the very generous merit aid from NHOIU, she should be able to graduate with less than $5K in loans, an important consideration for someone whose career goal is essentially freelancing.</p>
<p>My daughter ended up making a very pragmatic choice, specific to her unique circumstances, goals, and talents. She had some twinges about attending as school that she knows is a NHOIU to most people, but the final decision was made when she was on the campus in March. She turned to me and said, "Every time I set foot on this campus, I'm reminded again of how much I love it." As a parent, that was music to my ears, and because of my daughter's drive, determination, and willingness to make the most of opportunities, I fully expect her to succeed in her field as well. She may well be working with Digison or Tsson some day!</p>
<p>Mezzo, Digi--we all make decisions that are appropriate for our families and our children. We make the best decisions we can, and hope our sons and daughters will take advantage of all the opportunities available to them. College is seminal not terminal.</p>
<p>Mezzo- you and I have talked before and I know a little more about your daughter's situation. I think she's in the perfect school for her. She should take advantange of EVERYTHING she can there. I can see it now: Tsson as D and SW, Messodaughter as FAD, and Digison as DP and Ed!</p>
<p>"Naming names -- Mansfield, Harvey"</p>
<p>thanks! It was my roommate who was a Gov. major not me!</p>
<p>Tsdad, well said. I look at it as similar to restaurant choices. Some folks want to sit down with a menu, with their choices clearly spelled out and the meal served promptly. Others want an a la carte menu, so they can individualize their plate a bit. And others, my daughter being one, have a clear preference for the buffet line, where they can have a large helping of this, a small sample of something new, and maybe even two desserts. Everyone ends up eating well and are sustained for another day. There isn't a superior choice; just choices based on individual preferences.</p>
<p>Digi, LOL! That would be a CC connection worth watching...now we just have to find the person to write the checks!</p>
<p>I would tell the student to give himself/herself more credit. He/she won admission to Elite College and will likely be pushed to an even higher tier of excellence by a stronger study body. </p>
<p>Take it from someone who chose University of the Second Tiers and then transferred to Harvard.</p>
<p>-T101</p>
<p>How are you paying for Harvard?</p>
<p>I cannot address personal financial issues, but these are definitely important factors. That said, my original post was only to stress that a talented student should not feel afraid of entering a pond of "big fish."</p>