College Choices: Staying close to home

<p>I think there are certain kids that need an "outward bound" experience and others who do not... just as certain kids need intimate LAC w/ classes of 20, and other do not. Every kid is different in their needs.</p>

<p>My first son was born, raised, and never got very far away from Florida. I was fairly pushy in suggesting that he go "away" for college, just to broaden horizons and make a clean break from the home life. He went to the University of Rochester. My second son (far apart, years-wise - from a second marriage) has traveled very widely and very often and has friends all over the world. I think it's a little less important whether he goes away or not. In his case, the program he's going into, the scholarship he's getting, and the attention he's getting at this "far-away" school is worth the distance. If that same program existed at the state U, that would have been fine with me, but it doesn't. I think he's seeing this as a growing-up and getting-out-on-his-own thing.</p>

<p>Why far away? The plus of a college far away is that the culture is different than it would be at one's State U. Change usually produces growth. It doesn't mean one has to go far away to grow up, but leaving one's own environment makes one more wordly, which usually translates to more tolerance and understanding of those unlike ourselves. There's always grad school, so I'm still holding out for my son to take a risk
when that time rolls around.</p>

<p>Well, I think that the selection process should be mostly based on academics that a college/university has to offer. My impression from the CC site is that both parents and students put too little emphasis on what students are actually learning in college and how that knowledge can be applied in the real world out there, and too much emphasis on college location, campus, size, ratings, roommates, you name it...</p>

<p>I live in Madison, WI. Lots of our top kids attend UW every year. It is a great education for the cost. I think, overall, about 85% of Wisconsin kids attend either in state or in Minnesota where WI kids get tuition reciprocity. We told our kids that they could go to UW if they wanted, but strongly encouraged them to look elsewhere since they have grown up here. I know there are people who think we are silly for encouraging them to go out of state due to the cost, but hubby and I are both the product of an LAC and see a lot of the advantages of going that route. The two older boys currently attend schools in NY and OR. Youngest also wants to attend out of state, but if he chooses to go out of the midwest, he will be one of the few in his class to do so.</p>

<p>Mamochka, my oldest, who didn't want to go far from home, now believes he missed a big opportunity by going to a school where 95% of the kids are from his State, CA. When he visited Columbia where his sister will be going he was struck by the comparitive diversity. I do believe that a major part of a college experience happens outside of the classroom. Grad school!</p>

<p>For those, that want local and far away, there are study abroad programs, and summer abroad programs at many places.</p>

<p>MomofWildChild </p>

<p>Amazing is correct. My S's good friend is there now and having a great experience.</p>

<p>Kirmum, I tend to believe that the most important thing in college is education. Everything else comes after. Let me correct myself here: SHOULD be education. Are you saying that we (parents) are paying tens if not hundreds thousands of $$ to give kids 'experiences' first, and then 'whatever they can get' in terms of education/knowledge?</p>

<p>Momochka -- well, yeah. I think a good college experience, including a good education, is a tremendous investment in my son's future success as a human being. I wouldn't pay for him to go somewhere that I don't believe will provide him a good education. But I also wouldn't pay for him to go somewhere that I don't believe will help him grow in other ways as well. You seem to think that CC people don't care about education, when nothing could be further than the truth -- I think I just have a broader definition of education.</p>

<p>I believe that education encompasses a lot more than just what is learned in the classroom. There are things that need to be learned outside the classroom in order to be a successful and responsible adult. S learns a lot of these things from peers, mentoring adults/coaches and from the social experiences he has. Obviously, not many parents would send their kids away from home for a sub-par education just so they can have a good experience. I suspect the criteria is an academic school "equal or better" than that found near home.</p>

<p>I believe that the overall experience constitutes an education. Given what I see in the business world daily, I know the importance of getting to understand a wide variety of cultures. Momofwildchild's son had an amazing experience. I'm sure, going to a friend's home in Germany. Is that any less of a contribution to his development than a class? Not IMO. Probably the average class can't come close.</p>

<p>Last week I was doing business in Hong Kong. Called in a college buddy to help me understand some cultural issues which were compromising negotiations in a group that included Americans, Chinese, Japanese and French. Over an incredible meal at a restaurant I could never have found at as a tourist, he told me exactly how to approach things. </p>

<p>Ssomeone used the term worldly. To me, becomming worldly is a big part of an education. Foreign study programs can be great, but on many you live in a dorm with your fellow Americans and are taught by American teachers. Living among a virtual United Nations as I did in college taught me more than anything else.</p>

<p>We could just send or kids to trade schools to crank out professionals with the necessary skill sets on paper. But to me, it is the subtle skills, the interpersonal, the broader thinking, global awareness, cultural sensitivity that you can get in a diverse college environment that you'll have trouble picking up elsewhere in life.</p>

<p>Close to 70% of D1's graduating class last yr are attending college outside of CA. She nixed her CA acceptances and only considered those in the east. I agree that a college education extends beyond the classroom. On fall break, D traveled by rail to visit a friend who attends Princeton. Spring break she is traveling with classmates to NY to work on AIDS project during the day. They will be staying at a student hostel and checking out NYC in the evenings. Sounds worthwhile and fun...</p>

<p>Mamochka, it's not what WE (the parents) may think, but it's what OUR KIDS might think. And it's not just a matter of distance but, for my kids at least, a matter of "style of life." My son wanted to be in a major league city, but not Detroit. Closest option with an outstanding college that was also to his taste: Chicago (200 miles away). My daughter wanted to be in a city, too (not Detroit). She, too, could have chosen Chicago to study art (she did in fact do this in summer school), or Pittsburgh (350 miles from here) but the best school she got into (and arguably the best art school in the country) was on the east coast -- and so off she went, 800 miles from here.</p>

<p>You might say that my kids were "indifferent" to the region of the country but had strong preferenaces about the type of place they went to school in.</p>

<p>Here's an interesting article that touches on the disconnect between the experiences kids get in college and life after college: <a href="http://chronicle.com/free/v51/i24/24b01101.htm%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://chronicle.com/free/v51/i24/24b01101.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Going to an international school makes for some interesting choices among the students.</p>

<p><a href="http://www.wis.edu/academics/colleges.asp%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.wis.edu/academics/colleges.asp&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Still many stayed in the eastern US. The large number in Canada is explained in part by the subsidies that the variuous international banks pay to their employees whose children go to college outside of the US. Toronto and Montreal are not that far from DC.</p>

<p>macinaw, from what I see, the attitude of the parents is a major influence on the kids. I know dozens of kids who were raised in homes were the belief is that UCs are the world's best education and you would be stupid to look further. If parents are send out signals that going far is a negative, only so many kids will stand up to it. Believe me, it was hell with my parents!</p>

<p>mamochka - Last week on CC there was an entire thread devoted to Lavine's article.</p>

<p>Kirmum said it best: But to me, it is the subtle skills, the interpersonal, the broader thinking, global awareness, cultural sensitivity that you can get in a diverse college environment that you'll have trouble picking up elsewhere in life.</p>

<p>Kirmum, I'm inclined to agree with you. We set no particular proximity limits on the kids. We're from all over the place ourselves (both coasts) and have relatives all over the place. We encouraged our kids to look for a set of schools that were attractive to them according to various dimensions and factors (along with the usual reach, match, safety criteria). Distance just wasn't in the equation, but type of place was, along with the school's programs and other qualities. We were fortunate enough to not have major worries about the costs of different schools</p>

<p>I grew up in L.A., and 3 of my sibs attended UC's, one went to Caltech, and I went to Reed (1000 mi. from L.A.). We didn't wander all that far -- at least not away from the west coast. But my parents also didn't put any limits on where we could go to school.</p>

<p>
[quote]
My D did not apply to any in-state schools. The closest one she applied to is about an eight hour drive

[/quote]
The above comes close to describing my S.</p>

<p>But, digi, we of course aren't "there" yet, so don't know if he will have any close to home second thoughts. He didn't leave himself an "out" if he does.</p>

<p>I am wondering, though - our family has lived on both coasts (altho he was a tot when we left the left coast), travels frequently to visit friends/vacation up and down the east coast and across country. H and I both traveled extensivly in our jobs so it is "no big deal." Could this be factor in a kid not considering any close-to-home schools, ie comfort with moving about by plane/road trip? </p>

<p>Isandin - was your family a move-about family also?</p>

<p>mac - after reading your post: we, too, did not put geography in the equation except as a positive where a location was "interesting."</p>