<p>I feel so sorry for this young woman! I agree with getting your Dd’s pediatrician involved. He/she knows your Dd and what is healthy for her much better than anyone at her new school. Does the school have anyone who is responsible for your Dds overall progress and social health outside of the athletic department, perhaps a Dean, who could also be an advocate for your daughter?</p>
<p>“Momofthreeboys, but that rule just means the boat would have to carry deadweight to make up the difference. It doesn’t mean Coxswains have to weigh 110 pounds.”</p>
<p>My understanding (and it is second hand) is that the cox trick is to be heavy enough at weigh-in, so that the boat doesn’t have to take on extra deadweight. Then, the cox tries to loose a couple of pounds (i.e. water weight, emptying the bladder, etc. before the race begins). So in competitive boats, the cox is under pressure to stay in a pretty narrow weight band. (and, this info is second hand info from a friend of a cox, so I’m not by any means especially knowledgeable). </p>
<p>I do not know if this kind of pressure is playing a role in your D’s weight saga, but it’s another avenue to explore, the role that the demands of the sport are playing in decision making on your D’s health (especially as interpreted and told to you through the mind of a compliant freshman girl). Since this sport is new to your family and daughter, the inside scoop might be complicated to pry out. </p>
<p>Personally, I don’t think too much of the BMI measure as the range of acceptable weights is too large yet it still fails to adequately take into account different body types. When I was 9 months pregnant with a very large baby and could barely waddle around, by the BMI chart I could still gain another 8-10 lb and still be a “healthy” weight. That was clearly absurd. It just seems way too crude to be useful.</p>
<p>"The online BMI charts I looked at for a 19 year old put her at the first percentile. As in 1%ile. She’s certainly an outlier. </p>
<p>It also means that even at a smaller college with 1000 women enrolled, there should be 10 students just like her on campus. </p>
<p>It would never have to get as far as litigation, if the only justification the college had for the policy was that low BMI or having an eating disorder was reason enough to kick a kid out of school. Either one would be enough media fodder that that school would never wait for a lawsuit to be filed. Can you imagine that headline?</p>
<p>However, I think the OP has been misinformed and the policy only applies to being allowed to compete in sports. It makes sense that a college wouldn’t want the liability from allowing a student who might not be healthy enough to participate in sports to join whatever team. That’s the same reason sports teams generally do require a physical exam from their participants. In that case, I agree with @awcntdb in post #75 that it’s easier to convince them that your child is an exception to the rule than to convince them the rule is wrong.</p>
<p>Completely agree, @dustypig. I certainly would hope no one at the college really thinks they can deny her attendance for something like this; it just seems beyond absurd. If it weren’t for absurdities of similar magnitude actually having happened at colleges, I would have dismissed the possibility out of hand.</p>
<p>Seeing a lawyer does not mean litigation; in fact, if you do it early, and tell the school what the lawyer said, with a smile, you can avoid a lot of trouble.</p>
<p>My main concern here is that they might cause an eating disorder.</p>
<p>Both my daughters had peers in their dorm who were “too thin” but these individuals had other signs of eating disorders (including, in one case, excessive interest in what my daughter was eating). Their presence was upsetting for some but the colleges still did not kick them out. I do believe they were required to be in treatment and have a weight goal of some kind, but I don’t think they met it that first year.</p>
<p>Eating disorders are also often associated with other dangerous behaviors. The schools don’t want anyone dying on campus, that’s for sure.</p>
<p>This spill over onto a girl who may be naturally thin would seem to demand an exception. I think that is a good idea. To go for an exemption from a rule rather than change the rule entirely.</p>
<p>At least for staying on campus. I have no idea of the legitimacy of the rule for the sport. I would rather my kid leave a sport than risk an eating disorder through weigh-ins and forced eating. Or maybe she likes milkshakes-?</p>
<p>There are standards for athletes. I know this is a bit different…but my daughter wanted to be a pole vaulter in HS, and she would have been a good one. But you had to exceed a certain weight, and she didn’t. So she couldn’t do it. period. </p>
<p>I would not get a lawyer involved…but I would get your daughter’s permission to talk to the health center folks about this, as well as your family doctor. </p>
<p>As noted upstream, the NCAA has some concerns about weight and its athletes. While an inconvenience for your daughter, I’m going to say…better safe than sorry.</p>
<p>I am a high school rower. While part of this worry is clearly the athlete standard, it’s possible that even if you can get the school to back off, she will have to maintain a minimum weight as part of regatta standards. While coxswains can carry ballast to bring them up to the minimum weight, regattas sometimes set a maximum amount of ballast a coxswain can carry. If she is coxing for a girls boat, 95 pounds is probably okay, though 100lbs might be a minimum requirement at some. She is probably too light to cox for boys al all, as she would have to carry some 25 extra lbs at races. </p>
<p>My daughter was in crew all 4 years at her NESAC school. I asked her about this, and she said there is a high rate of eating disorders among coxains, so I can see the school could be concerned. However, the OP and the daughter have docunentation of her health and verification from the pediatician that her health is fine…and her BMI is fine for HER. That should be good enough for the school, IMO.</p>
<p>^^I’m guessing it is probably “good enough” for the college and the OP could potentially “get” the college to back-off, but I’m willing to guess that the athletic department is trying to be able to keep her playing her sport and for this sport and her position weight is an issue. This distinction will be apparent I think when the OP actually reads the file until then we’re all simply “guessing.”</p>
<p>I am late to this discussion. While I agree that BMI is a pretty crude measure of health, I do sympathize with the athletic department’s concern for the health of its female athletes. Girls in weight conscious sports can and do hurt themselves. Coaches have been too short term in their interests, letting girls get too thin so the team can win, then discarding the girls when they have stress fractures or become otherwise unhealthy. </p>
<p>Eating disorders are extraordinarily difficult to overcome. People die from them. </p>
<p>OP, if it were my child, I would be sure there wasn’t something wrong with my D’s health, as has been noted by other posters. Make sure her bone density is okay. Make sure she is getting her period. Make sure this is really just due to her natural thinness and not a change in her condition. You mention the issue just slipped out during a conversation you had. That would worry me. (She didn’t call outraged). You mentioned that it is not unusual for her to have irregular periods. That would concern me as well. If D is fine, then I would go about gathering her old medical records and asking for her to be exempt from the extreme monitoring. I’d acknowledge the need for being careful of girls’ health, especially in weight conscious sports, but then show how D is a healthy outlier. </p>
<p>To return to the OP, she wrote:
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<p>In my opinion, the college is doing its level best to give this student an eating disorder. Through their efforts, they are turning obsession with her weight into a time-consuming extracurricular. If 110 were the goal, that would be pressuring her into gaining 12% of her current weight. That’s not healthy. </p>
<p>If she does not need to play the sport to financially pay for college, I would urge her to drop the sport. I would also get much more aggressive with the college, by seeking legal advice to discover if they can threaten her with expulsion due to her BMI. </p>
<p>However, in my opinion, it is not a “helicopter parent” moment. It’s a “welcome to adulthood” moment for her. She is still functioning as a child, doing what adults tell her to do. She needs to learn how to push back, and how to make others drop unreasonable demands. She has to work with her lawyer and her pediatrician to get the college to stop trying to force her into harmful behavior. </p>
<p>If the college persists, I would look into transferring. I would also demand repayment of all financial outlays. The college accepted her at her normal weight. If she was not eligible to stay on campus due to BMI at that point, their offer was deceptive.</p>
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<p>This is a D3 school. There are no athletic scholarships.</p>
<p>It’s still not clear if the issue is the sport or attendance at the school. The issue may have been raised “early” because she is playing a sport.</p>
<p>Also, I found this confusing by one poster:
“On the college app, one must disclose any medical / health conditions that could affect your attendance or performance, as a member of the community. If a student shows up with something, which was not disclosed that is grounds to dismiss for providing false information.”</p>
<p>I was working with my son on the Common App, and I saw no such thing. What colleges ask this information on an application?</p>
<p>Or do you mean that when a student actually accepts and is registering, they have to disclose medical information?</p>
<p>My son has a 504 plan due to a learning disability because of a genetic disorder, and there was absolutely no place where he was required to list either having a 504 plan or having a genetic disorder. The genetic disorder is extremely rare, but we have documentation that it does not impact his ability to play and do extremely well at sports (he is targeting a few D1 but mostly D3 schools to play in college). Are there going to be colleges that ask him health information <em>before</em> he accepts a spot at the college?</p>
<p>We would want to stay clear of such places.</p>
<p>I’m not certain it’s a college issue per se; it could be an issue with a particular doctor. </p>
<p>If it were my daughter, I’d want to know if the college also harasses male students about their weight. </p>
<p>I’m not convinced BMI is a good measure of health, either. One of my children is very skinny. And yet, his BMI by one measure is well above average. I suppose he’s particularly dense. I also have several relatives (male) who have very fast metabolisms. They don’t watch their diet, eat full-fat everything, multiple desserts, and don’t gain weight. It would be very difficult for them to gain weight. </p>
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<p>Probably not. The poster you quoted above was making stuff up to try and support an argument.</p>
<p>I know people who are very thin but is considered to have more fat on the skin. No exercise, no muscle.</p>
<p>Why doesn’t she request a letter from her primary physician who has known her since childhood, who can indicate that she has always been in a specific percentage range of height and weight. The doctor can add the additional information in the form of specifying family history -that all women are between a certain height and are a certain weight in this family. This should get them off her back. She might even suggest respectfully that she prepare it (or you do, to save her time and because you have more experience with the family tradition) and ask the doc to sign, which would save him time, and of course, he would be free to add whatever he thinks pertinent. </p>
<p>No way would I do nothing here. The college is WAY overstepping into her personal business absent any evidence whatsoever of a health problem. </p>
<p>She sounds like my daughter, who, by the way, is extremely tall yet is very thin, and has been the case since birth. That’s just the way she is. She’s super confident and outspoken with US, but not in a position of pressure like this. She’d prefer not to make waves. I JUST found out on Friday that TWO YEARS ago, a dentist failed to give her novocaine after her specific request, and she didn’t bother to tell me or stop the procedure. The dentist filled her cavity without numbing it and it was extremely painful…and she did NOT tell me! That surprised me. </p>
<p>Your daughter has told you so direct her how to handle this in no uncertain terms. </p>
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<p>What a horrible story! I’d have yanked my kid out of that class so fast that teacher’s head would spin. </p>
<p>I agree with you that this is a time to take charge, not stand back. If she can do it with Mom’s direction, fine, but otherwise, Mom, Dad, Doctor and possibly attorney need to step in. </p>
<p>I would be surprised if a call or note from the OP’s daughter doesn’t fix the issue. The sport at that school is very prestigous…I hope her daughter gets to stay</p>