<p>It is hard to say if that is realistic or not. My D was just near 2000 in SAT practice score at the end of sophomore. She also only took 1 AP in sophomore and 2 in junior. After a whole summer of preparation for SAT/ACT, she got above NMSF cutoff in Junior and reached 2300+ in practice score by the end of first semester in Junior. Practically, one would try all his/her best in those exam and then pick schools (matches, reaches, safeties) according to the credential. It is nice to have a high goal during the college preparation but it may or may not be on the list of schools for application at the end.</p>
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<p>It sounds like your mom is, if not actually divorced, legally unmarried for the purposes of FAFSA, so he probably wouldn’t be required for that. But very few schools give much financial aid without requiring the Profile form (and they also want the non-custodial parent info). </p>
<p>If your HS counselor or similar person can attest to the fact that your dad is unfindable, doesn’t pay child support and doesn’t see you ever, you can try to get a waiver for schools that will want his info for financial aid. Not all schools will give it but if he’s truly “ghost” then that may be an option.</p>
<p>The general advice here on CC for those planning on medical school is to keep debt for undergrad very low because you will likely have to borrow a lot for med school. </p>
<p>I know this isn’t about Ivies or not Ivies, but these are really important things to plan for. If your mom can’t pay more than a few thousand a year for school and there isn’t a college fund, then you will need either a meets full need school (see above with respect to those and your dad), or one of the automatic full tuition or full ride schools linked above, or plan to go to a community college and commute from home.</p>
<p>If you look at the auto scholarships, you can see what GPA and scores are required for those and aim to get to at least that level, now.</p>
<p>@temir100, the problem with thinking about paying off debt once you become a surgeon is 1. first you have to get into medical school and there are no guarantees. 2. You will likely take on considerable debt in medical school. 3. If you are planning to be a surgeon you will be a resident/fellow with limited salary for 5-8 years after you graduate from medical school. Your loans will be due. 4. With ACA and changes in medicine, no one knows what doctor salaries will be like in the future. So best to do undergraduate with as little debt as possible.</p>
<p>And remember, even “meet full need” colleges figure out your “need” on their own, from the detail you supply. That’s not what you think you need. They often expect a contribution from student summer earnings and work study. And loans. Run the NPCs for each college.</p>
<p>OP, do you have any idea what med school costs and how big that debt will be? Plus, many highly competitive colleges weed out pre-meds (making the required courses ridiculously challenging, to reduce the number of hopefuls.) You may be much better off at a college where you can thrive, then be able to confidently apply to med school.</p>
<p>Yeah, I know I can graduate with about 250k because medical school forces you to drop stacks for it. Sadly, my mom doesn’t see it the way I see it, she either sees Ivy League or Non-Ivy League. And for me I’m really having a hard time right now, I can’t go to a community college or my mom might kill me for that. It’s really hard for me to choose a decent school that offers good financial aid. </p>
<p>@lookingforward Prices at meet need schools will vary, but for the most part they’ll still be cheaper than schools that gap (the majority of colleges), unless merit money makes the offers comparable.</p>
<p>Lil, nothing like being surprised when the award letter comes. I was adding to posts 18 and 21. OP can apply to a meet full need college and still have a bill larger than her mom wants to pay. Or can pay. They don’t say, oh, you want X dollars? They do the calculating. Some state/local schools are less, depending on where you are. She needs to run the NPCs. Eyes wide open. In the days before NPCs, plenty of devastated parents and kids posted about how they thought “MFN” meant ideal financial aid.</p>
<p>@lookingforward Yeah, she definitely needs to look at the NPCs. Results do vary per family, specially since it seems it’s only the OP and her mom at home. $75/year + typical assets will generally yield great aid, but colleges will be less generous with a family of 2 than a family of 4-5.</p>
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<p>Regardless of where you wind up in college, you will really need to do much better than you did in HS if you want a shot at med school.</p>
<p>And BTW, you’re correct any very highly selective school is going to out of reach for you.</p>
<p>What is NPC?</p>
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<p>Your mom will not kill you. If she threatens to physically harm you in any way, call the police. Unfortunately, there is little you can do about the emotional abuse except for agreeing with her. and doing your best. Time will heal this. </p>
<p>If I didn’t make it clear, there is no reason to discuss non-Ivy schools with her right now. Go along with the Ivy plan. You are going to have to apply to Ivys. This is a given, and it will be painful no doubt. </p>
<p>No worries, you are unlikely to get into any Ivys. This will all pass and the problem will be overcome by events. She will eventually get over it. Or not. This is not within your control. You may need therapy to help overcome the abuse. </p>
<p>What you can do besides doing your best at school, is perhaps READ the Fiske Guide in the library so that she doesn’t know that you are doing it. YOU can research colleges and try to figure out what you want and can get. </p>
<p>Perhaps make some college visits with friends. I’m not sure how tight your leash is. </p>
<p>In the spring your guidance counselor will suggest to both you and your mother that you consider non-Ivy colleges. That’s your opportunity to suggest realistic schools to visit and apply to. </p>
<p>Nothing good will come from fighting about it now. Nothing whatsoever. </p>
<p>NPC is Net Price Calculator, available on every college web site. You plug in accurate financial info in response to their questions and they tell you what you may get in financial aid. That’s assuming income and assets are straightforward, no self-employment, no unusual types of assets, etc. </p>
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<p>Net price calculator. Look for it on each college’s web site to get a financial aid estimate.</p>
<p>You can’t just borrow unlimited money. Only a teenager will think it doesn’t matter how much college costs because they will be rolling in money later. That is just fantasy thinking. Even Drs have money problems if they have too much debt. You yourself can only borrow 27k for all your 4 years. The rest will be your mother borrowing or co-signing. So you are going to have to consider if she will do that and the risk to her if she does.You will also have to think if she can qualify to borrow every year. She will not get credit for anything else no car nothing. Only crazy or stupid would try to do that–or someone with no clue, like a teenager.</p>
<p>You have realized that you don’t have to go to an Ivy to get med school. Now you can take the next step and learn that you don’t have to go to expensive private either, or find ones that give great aid for your income. Look at mt Holyoke perhaps , others like that.</p>
<p>Although you need to keep your goal in mind, you also need to keep in mind that it may not go the way you want. I think about 1/2 of premeds drop out the first year, who knows how many else do over the 4 years and there are the ones who can’t get into med school. So the odds are you may not actually go. To ignore that is foolish.</p>
<p>Just try to take an approach of learning with your mom, the ivy admit rate is so low everyone needs backup or they get shut out and go to a CC, so ask her to Learn with you about safety and match schools. Ask HER if family relations should be ruined over this. Was everything ok before? Or if she is really not going to have real talk about it, maybe she will listen to your GC.</p>
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<p>While this is common wishful thinking among students, there are also sometimes situations where the parents try to pressure the student into going to a more expensive college that will result in excessive student loan debt (and the parents won’t pay the extra cost of the more expensive college).</p>
<p>Yes, can you get an appt w your guidance counselor, w your mom in attendance?</p>
<p>We sat w S1’s GC and found it very helpful to chat about expectations.</p>
<p>This is a problem that is not just because of college choices. I think the OP might want to talk to a GC at the school and see if some form of counseling is available. Also if the parent can be advised of some facts in the way things work. A major problem here is that the parent wants top school performance regardless from this point on, and the OP is not so committed. It’s an age old problem I wasn’t insistent on top level performance but the discrepancy between parental standards and my kids’ was a major point of dispute and problems through out. It’s an old story,and striking a balance is difficult in that area.</p>
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<p>Indeed, but ultimately, we all have to make decisions about the course of our own lives, and often those decisions are not met with parental approval. Whatever decision we make, we need to try to make them the best we can, and we have to take responsibility and live with the consequences. </p>
<p>We all make mistakes that we learn from. I’m sure that there are many many mistakes that I haven’t even made yet. Seek wisdom, but make decisions and when mistakes are made, reflect briefly and pick up the pieces</p>
<p>Nonetheless, as a parent, I know how hard it is to relinquish the reins, but by junior year of HS, what was once the helpless baby is a pretty fully developed person with a will and a mind of her own. My own kids were pretty competent in telling me to butt out, LOL. Unless it involved risking life and limb, I did. </p>
<p>Sigh. I wish I felt I could have. My kids still needed nudges, pushes and often kicks in the tushes even in college to get a little more action in certain areas. Whether it would have been better to have let it go, I don’t know. </p>
<p>I can see a single parent, particularly one who places very high priority in academic achievement, getting tunnel vision about excellence in the area, and becoming focused on this when the kid just doesn’t hold it as high of a priority. Kid knows that HPY is out of the picture most certainly, and likely other top schools too, and wants to ease it up. Doesn’t quite get it, certainly doesn’t feel it, that stepping it up is still highly beneficial.</p>
<p>I can tell a lot of true tales about such scenarios. See it all of the time. My closest friend’s very bright DD slacked off starting junior year and had a disappointing result in terms of college choices even by the DD’s own standards. In their case, it was not such a big deal as money did not figure into it–parents could pay here way, but when merit money or substantial financial aid rides on academic achievement, that can really cut down on options and choices. In this case, if money were in the picture, the student would have had to have gone to a local smaller, directional state universiy–commuted as she was turned down by the flagship, a huge shocker. It was an important lesson to her. She went to not so selective private university paying full freight, as her parents could and would, made top grades and has since transferred to a top 25 university. She learned first hand what a difference it makes to have those grades. Couldn’t get this through her head when in high school. </p>
<p>OP should understand that putting the nose to the grindstone and getting the grades, working on test scores is important, though mom is in a frenzy about this that is not healty. But she may see things he does not, like his chances of going to anything other than a local school might be shot if he does not buckle down. If that truly is something the OP feels is acceptable to him, then the mom needs to back off.</p>
<p>My son has a friend from elem school who is going to go to a local school. No college angst for him or his parents as it’s all understood that he will not be applying to sleep away colleges, selective schools. He’ll work part time locally and go to school full or part time as he can handle it, commuting. Parents and kid on the same track, peace in the household. It’s when there is a huge divide between expectations that the problems arise.</p>
<p>Mt Holyoke is a great suggestion. Check their NPC and look at both their reputaiton and the consortium they are part of, with Amherst and Smith. (if you don;t know these two colleges, look them up. Quite Fine.) Last I heard, 6-7 years ago, MHC’s pre-med was “cooperative,” versus the brutal weeder schools. </p>