College-Decision and Admission Chances ruining my family relationship, need advice please.

<p>@planner03 and also, what do you think about Binghamton? It looks a lot more selective, but I think I have a fair shot. </p>

<p>Cornell could be a <em>slightly</em> lower reach than the rest of those schools
maybe just apply there to please your mother. hey, who knows, you might even get in</p>

<p>@AmbiD77‌ I heard that it’s a really, really difficult school. Not even sure if I would go there if I got in. </p>

<p>It is pretty difficult, many friends of mine go there right now
I completely understand your position in relation to your mother, but if you feel like it’s destroying your relationship maybe it’s just better if you give in and apply to one ivy
(I just suggested Cornell as an idea c: )</p>

<p>Especially of your parents are paying for college; you might need their approval of your choice</p>

<p>I actually highly doubt that my mom will pay for my tuition as she said she won’t when I asked her, I think I’m on my own. So I think a SUNY is a best choice.</p>

<p>What? Where did this twist come from? You can’t be ‘on your own’ for tuition unless you get a ‘full ride’ scholarship. At least you are looking at some affordable options but your mom has to come up with any money over your own loan and aid. You can’t get a loan for that. She will have to get the loan.</p>

<p>Even if you do as she says in regards to the ivy sitch?</p>

<p>@BrownParent‌ You’re right, I did a lot more research and find out there’s a really small portion of financial aid that I can get independently as a student, such as loans. I guess I’ll have to convince my mom to get a loan. </p>

<p>Out of curiosity, have you run any NPCs yet?</p>

<p>@lookingforward‌ I’m going to run a few in the next few days. I actually ran a few a few months ago when I found my mom’s IRS worksheets, and I believe it was for Lafayette College, not sure but I think I got 35k aid. I am not sure though, could be wrong. I’ll run a few and let you guys know. </p>

<p>$35,000 aid off $59,000 tuition still leaves Lafayette too expensive for a student to self-fund at $24,000.</p>

<p>If your mother won’t pay at all, but her income and assets will cause you to see net prices of $24,000 on just need-based aid, then you need to look mainly at full ride merit scholarships, like those listed here:
<a href=“http://automaticfulltuition.yolasite.com/”>http://automaticfulltuition.yolasite.com/&lt;/a&gt;
<a href=“Competitive Full Tuition / Full Ride Scholarships - #46 by ucbalumnus - Financial Aid and Scholarships - College Confidential Forums”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1461983-competitive-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-p4.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>I wonder: if you try to tell Mom she needs loans, it may only increase her drive for you to apply to an Ivy. Make absolutely certain you’re entering the correct NPC figures. If Lafayette is roughly 62k, if you did remember correctly, that would leave you about 27k- about 43%. Seems high, unless there are big assets. If the NPC doesn’t note line numbers on the final tax forms, you may have to google for explanations.</p>

<p>Hum, I have a million thoughts for you. But you are really picking up a lot and seem to know yourself pretty well. Any chance you can talk to your mom about exploring an array of colleges aside from Ivy? Like you need choices because many don’t make it. Like the SUNY for safeties and price. Like some "meets full need’ colleges, likely LAC, you might get in with a lot of aid. Like somewhere you might get big merit aid, even BU. All in the name of being wise with costs, getting free money, and having choices next fall. You can always turn something down, but when you are shut out you don’t have anywhere. Instead of saying it is my choice, say you would like to both listen to each other’s picks and learn some new ones. </p>

<p>Why don’t you run the NPC for Mt. Holyoke. Couple of reasons:</p>

<ol>
<li>Not to push it unnecessarily, it just came to me for these kind of reasons, but there are others you might prefer elsewhere, even Smith in the consortium–just take as an example: </li>
</ol>

<p>Selective LAC–perhaps your Mom could be persuaded on it’s general eliteness even if it isn’t a huge university with a well known name, it is one where upper class send their daughters traditionally One of the “Seven Sisters” with lots of history and tradition. (not sure what impresses you mom but you can find literature to support) </p>

<p>Like all LAC, it has all the core academics like your math, science, english, arts in good array, but the classes are all small right from the beginning. No huge lectures. So lots of interaction with profs and support. Atmosphere is more cooperative than competitive and that seems what you’d like. They care if you succeed, there is support if you need help, and academics are strong.</p>

<p>It is small but it is in the 5 college consortium near Amherst so you can register for classes and socialize at other schools. UMass in the consortium has a medical center. Beautiful campus and a real community of smart young women.</p>

<p>They are ^very^ generous with financial aid, and they are a ‘meets full need’ school. They will work with you if you show interest in them. Easier to get into than the academics suggest (all women, not competing with males for space) They make sure you have opportunities/research and such.</p>

<p>They are TEST OPTIONAL. If you don’t get your SAT up you don’t have to send it (however you will have to check if you need it for merit aid.)</p>

<ol>
<li>If you look at the NPC, it will break out aid in a few ways. One big component for you will be grants, but they also award good sized merit and show you the estimate. So you can sign in to College Board or other, and save your numbers and run a few scenarios with different gpa/course rigor to see if/how that changes merit aid. You may also get some work study and a loan for 3k to 5k depending on your mom’s numbers. </li>
</ol>

<p>This may show you directly why Jr year is the year to push yourself, as some people are trying to explain above. Really you and your mom will want to squeeze all the free money that you can.</p>

<p>Your mom, and you too, may not know that Yale and Harvard College (where the undergraduates go) are at the heart LACs, Liberal Arts Colleges. The other stuff–grad schools, institutes, law–are add on–you as an undergrad are not going there. You are really in a 7,000 person LAC in a way. Brown and Dartmouth are even more like LAC. No business, nursing and the professional schools at undergrad level.</p>

<p>Whether you apply to ivies or elsewhere, you are going to need the highest scores possible…so study and take both the ACT and SAT.</p>

<p>You can only borrow $5500, so if you or your mom think that you can pay/borrow your college costs, that is wrong.</p>

<p>I doubt that your mom will want to take out loans or even co-sign big loans. Her credit will take a hit, and if you cant pay them back, she will get stuck with them…</p>

<p>You need a good strategy ONCE you have new scores. Come back then, start a new thread, and we’ll come up with some suggestions.</p>

<p>PS…you need to show your mom the middle quartile score ranges for ivies. And explain that those in the lower quartiles, and even some in the lower-middle likely have hooks…ethnic diversity, regional diversity, etc. If you live in the NE, then you wont be adding any regional diversity. And, even the high scorers only have a small chance of being accepted.</p>

<p>But, agree to apply to a few to shut her up.</p>

<p>Bottom line:

  • Do your best junior year grade wise and test score wise.
  • Apply to the Ivies (all of 'em if she insists) to make your mom happy, but odds are you won’t get in to any (possibly Cornell if you get your test scores up).<br>
  • Find a couple of SUNYs that are strong in pre-med prep that would be okay to attend and that are fairly affordable. Know that odds are strong that you are going to end up there.
  • Honestly, doubt your mom is going to listen, so I might just move forward with this plan. The only thing that might work is to ask your guidance counselor to have a word with her.</p>

<p>Also if you want you could show her case studies that maybe she will understand. I have a Chinese female, 1st gen, Salutatorian very high gpa in very rigorous program SAT scores about 600 pts higher than your estimated, difficult life circumstance and tragedy to overcome that admissions would be very sympathetic to, and doing that well, all self directed. This year was rejected Harvard, Yale, Brown, Duke, and waitlisted at Dartmouth. But she has her instate choices, and she has other ‘meets need’ selectives that she got to choose from with the financial aid.</p>

<p>Maybe she will understand the difficulty. This girl could have gone to any, even waitlisted at Dartmouth but they didn’t take anyone from the waitlist this year. </p>

<p>But if your mom thinks you can just study and go from a 1500 psat to 2400 sat then she should know that most people just raise by a couple hundred pts at most from soph to jr year even with prepping. It isn’t something you can just do like study for your class.</p>

<p>at colleges like Lafayette, your need won’t be met in RD cycle unless you get merit based aid. Everyone told you need to work on test scores. they count a lot when comes to giving out aid at some colleges as far as I think. </p>

<p>About Mt Holyoke. Not really meaning to fall back on the USNews rankings, but if Mom is thinking along those lines, national prestige, think about this: Amherst is #2 among liberal arts colleges. It seems to occasionally swap with #1, Williams. Smith is “top twenty.” In the consortium, (MHC, Smith, Amherst, along with UMass and Hampshire,) a bus runs between campuses, you can easily cross-register. It’s encouraged. A huge MHC selling point for Mom may be: “Mom, I can register for classes at the #2 prestigious LAC.” MHC is also cooperative, not killer competitive. Its women are highly prepared and respected. And the feedback on their experiences, as well as Smith, is generally uniformly positive.</p>

<p>@lookingforward‌ I’m a guy, don’t think I can apply there lol. </p>