College Essays

College Essays
1

<p>Hey
I'm from Scotland, and our college applications require none of the essays that your colleges ask for. Therefore, I have no support over here and I get slightly confused. English is not my first language, even though I can speak it well, so I get confused slightly sometimes. </p>

<p>I am puzzled over how to write my essays. This is mainly because of over here, modesty is greatly encouraged. And I know that generally, americans are much more open with their ambitions and goals. I know this is stereotyping, but I really admire it, most people in Scotland hide all their goals behind false modesty, which gets nowhere. I know this makes people see americans as arrogant sometimes, but I know it's not, it's more confidence. Man I'm really off to a good start here, my first post and I'm calling most of the users arrogant and stereotyping you all horribly. </p>

<p>So, anyways, I have a choice of essay, either A or B.</p>

<p>Essay A Tell us about an experience which, at the time, really felt like "the end of the world" -- but had it not happened, you would not be who you are today. Describe the process through which you discovered value in the negative.
Essay B Describe the world you come from, for example your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? </p>

<p>Which should I do? And what about?</p>

<p>For A, I could do something about my business, being given a huge contract, then materials being delayed, thinking I'd lose the work and was ******, then having to work 20 hour days to make sure the job was done. No one else thought I could make the deadline, but I did. I could say how this taught me to work harder, to trust no one, to trust myself, that I generally am right, to make sure anything important I do myself, but this doesn't sound fantastic to me. What qualities could I draw out of this? Or should I do something else, if so, what? An example essay would be excellent, not to copy, just to get an idea of.</p>

<p>I could draw something out about climbing, saving my parteners life on a big wall, a big storm, and thinking he was in big trouble, he had hypothermia, rewarming him, getting him fixed, and dragging him back. This taught me to be strong, to be determined, not to give up.</p>

<p>For B, I could do: Being told I was not good enough, only motivated me to succeed further. I don't do failure. I wanted to escape my childhood, which wasn't great, I learnt that whatever I do, I want to be the best, I want to succeed, I hate mediocrity. I could do something about my massive academic and sporting workloads, that it taught me to work under pressure. I could say that when I grew up, I knew that I always wanted better. Although I fear this may end up like a sob story. </p>

<p>Your comments and feedback is greatly appriciated.</p>

<p>Thank you all.</p>

2

<p>Have I frightened everyone off? I'm sure you're all lovely really.</p>

3

<p>Hoot mon. I love Scottish accents.
Bump.</p>

4

<p>Would I have had more success with responses if I had typed this in an unreadable scots accent?</p>

5

<p>i would do the business one for A, since the saving the friend one about "not giving up" sounds, while a great personal accomplishment, a little cliched for a college essay </p>

<p>also, in all your essays, don't do what you did above--"to work harder, to trust no one, to trust myself, that I generally am right, to make sure anything important I do myself"...first of all i would question TRUSTING NO ONE, that's not an admirable traitat least for me. </p>

<p>but in general don't tell them how it helped you like that ("X experience made me determined, a hard worker, and goal-oriented.") you have to use the experience and show them how it changed you without blatantly listing it all out for them.</p>

6

<p>You know, in my opinion, you should write whatever you feel most comfortable writing. The thing with American colleges is that the admission's officers have read a lot of the "pity" stories. So, being told that you're not good enough may only disservice you, however, writing about your own business shows a lot about your potential, and that a good thing. The number one rule is to be unique.</p>

7

<p>I'm equally comfortable writing about either of them. And the choice is essay A or essay B, not both. </p>

<p>I know trusting no one is not a good attribute, but I am struggling to see how I can draw out how it changed me other than that. I have always been ambitious, determined, extremely hard working, extremely driven etc. Should I lie and say I wasn't before the incident?</p>

<p>My business is pretty unique I suppose. I just struggle to see what I can say I gained from the experience.</p>

<p>I know you should show, not tell, but over here, we're told to do for example: "Working 20 hour days to meet a tight deadline taught me to work harder and gave me valuable experience of working under pressure."</p>

<p>But, for US unis, should I be saying just, "I worked 20 hour days to meet a tight deadline."?<br>
i.e not mentioning anything I gained, and relying on the reader to realise it themselves?</p>

<p>Thanks alot everyone, I greatly apprecaite your help.</p>

8

<p>Choose the topic that allows for the most personal, detailed, honest and revealing essay.</p>

<p>For guidance on what good US college essays might look like, check out:</p>

<p>Essays</a>, Admission Information, Undergraduate Admission, U.Va.</p>

9

<p>Hi Fisherman, The important thing to remember when writing your essay is that the reader does not know you, what you have done, and what has made you what you are. It is only through your essays that the adcom knows about you as a person. Hence hiding your light under a bushel does not help. If this is a business school essay, being aggressive is important, as only by aggressively following your dreams can you succeed. And business schools require successes as brand ambassadors. Second, an adcom member reads thousands of essays per season. They do not have time to think about meanings. You have to show how you went about doing something, what you learnt from it and how you have utilised your learning in later life. So don't expect them to read between the lines. As someone else mentioned - to trust no one, to trust myself, that I generally am right, to make sure anything important I do myself, - this is a definite no-no. Colleges expect you to work in teams, if you don't trust anyone, you will end up being a loner and loners are no good in the 21st century environment. You can rephrase this by saying - you learnt to rely on yourself, to work independently and to take decisions leveraging on your own experience, knowledge and background. This works just as well without saying that you didnt work with anyone else.
Hope this helped.</p>

10

<p>It's not a business school essay. I want to do physics, not business. I think I've already got sufficient knowledge in business that to do a degree in it would be pretty pointless. And I want a physics degree so I can learn the knowledge that will help me design innovative and successful products that I can market. And I love physics, it's what's most interesting to me. I just don't have the knowledge of physics at degree level.</p>

<p>Speaking of risks, I might have a topic.</p>

<p>I used to be heavily involved with pyrotechnics. I was making a lot of rockets, quite sophisticated things, and also fireworks. The maths and physics behind it all was pretty complex. I also dabbled in special effects. But, I was raided by the police, and questioned under the terrorism act. I wasn't actually breaking any laws, but I was treading very close to the line. I had absolutely nothing to do with terrorism though, it was just possessing explosive materials. </p>

<p>I was never convicted or even charged with anything. But, is this topic too risky? Because, I know the US is pretty cautious about terrorism nowadays. So, do you think this essay would be too bad an idea?</p>

<p>It would fit nicely for essay A. I could start off like this: I'm sitting on a hard seat in a windowless room. The tape recorder runs. Sitting across from me on the other side of the table are two policemen. On my left is a legal advisor. I am being questioned under the terrorism act. But, I am not a terrorist. Why am I there? It all started....etc etc</p>

<p>I could say it taught me: to think under pressure. And I was under extreme pressure. Interigation can be quite intense. (biggest understatement ever) I was paranoid about being shipped off to guantanemo bay, even though I knew I did nothing wrong. But after the event, it taught me to stand up for myself, to not back down when I knew I was right. I had to argue with police over the law, which I knew better than them. I became more in favour of resisting changes to our law, like the proposed 90 day detention without charge for terrorists. And against extradition. </p>

<p>What do you guys think of this idea?</p>

<p>Cheers</p>

11

<p>Anyone got an opinion?</p>

12

<p>Frank opinion - don't think it would work...for whatever reason, I doubt the univ authorities would take too kindly to someone even under the suspicion of terrorism...best to avoid it.</p>