What about U Chicago? It has a quirky nerdy life of the mind vibe. There is Greek life there but it also has the house system which is a bit like the residential college system at Rice and Yale.
I was also going to suggest Davidson and maybe Kenyon or Denison. All have chances for merit, although the Ohio schools may not have the social atmosphere she would like.
have you looked at RPI?
@mamaedefamilia Thanks for the feedback on Oberlin! That’s what I thought too - from what I’ve read I could see a “fit” there. And she has been going to a large public high school in an extremely liberal environment - as she says, she has a fairly well developed idea of what to say and what not to say in this regard. She just hates being afraid to speak her mind. We will try to check it out, along with Case Western (which sounded like it could be a “fit” on paper).
Since she likes Macalester so much, I didn’t suggest St. Olaf. I know Aspie’s have a huge crash and burn rate in college, and Mac is really close to her uncle and aunt’s house in St. Paul. If she goes out there I would rather she be close to family than almost an hour out.
I logged in to suggest UChicago - I see it has already been mentioned above. I would take her back to Swarthmore for a remedial visit …
@millie210 Yes - I have gleaned great insight into the Aspie college process, with all of its successes and failures, from this forum. I look forward to seeing where both of our children end up.
I initially thought Wesleyan would be perfect for her, but she read about it and said no. And she’s fairly strong-willed. Might bring it up again to see if her perspective has changed. She didn’t like Brown because it was “too big” (announced that halfway through the tour to me). I think that was both a measure of the student body size as well as the fact that the campus didn’t feel “contained” to her. She likes “contained” feeling campuses - Vassar, for example, had a very comforting feel to her.
@twoinanddone (geez I wish I were done) – excellent point, and one we discussed, but she feels strongly that she wants a smaller school. She doesn’t like to be around crowds of people, craves familiarity, routine and “structure,” and, practically speaking, tends to get lost (seriously) a lot more than most other people do when overwhelmed. With her, a campus where she feels “comfortable” might be the difference between engaging and going to class, or hiding out in her room. Smaller class sizes are also of paramount importance to her.
@compmom Davidson didn’t sound like a good personality “fit” for her. I thought perhaps Sarah Lawrence, but she nixed it after attending an information session. Clark we’ll read up on.
Muhlenberg. For so many reasons, Muhlenberg. Have a talk with the best disability office in the area and best of luck to you and your daughter!
@svcamom @Mintwood I have been pondering Reed. Will bring it up again - thanks! She is the type of student who might spend some of her spare time reading up on genetics, or Winston Churchill. She is very cerebral. Then again, she could also spend some of her spare time playing video games and watching Parks & Recreation 
College of Wooster sounds lovely - will check out. Grinnell she just saw and liked a lot.
Clark is very strong in psychology. It is on the Colleges that Change Lives list (I assume you have seen their website).
@gardenstategal I agree about checking out potential support resources for Aspie students - thanks for the tip on Mercyhurst. I know that getting into college may not be the biggest battle for us - staying in might be. Will check out Earlham.
@Houston1021 U Chicago seems to really fit her personality, but there’s something about it that tells us that she might get “lost” there. Also worried about class sizes, but I will look into it.
@elena13 I was trying to sell her on Kenyon, but she went to a local info session and wasn’t into it. May still try to get her to see that and/or Denison. Davidson just doesn’t sound like a good “fit” for her.
@sdl0625 RPI seems great on paper, but she thinks it’s too big. Case Western is pushing it, and it has less students. Ideally she wants under 5,000 I think, and honestly, it almost seems like, to her, the smaller the better.
@Momtothreegirls: It’s a wonder to see just how tuned into your D18 you are. We are going through a similar soul searching college quest for my S18 as well. If you don’t mind my asking, is D18 the youngest of the 3? I ask out of curiosity since she’s relatively so well adapted it has me wondering what role the other 2 played in social development.
With mine, he’s done academically well, but he’s oldest and his younger brother S20 has always helped “guide” him socially. Until HS, no real friends of his own (although he was well enough liked at his small private K-8,) and I’m a little surprised and delighted to find out (through the spy, S20) he’s got a little group at HS apparently and even keeps in contact with some of the boys who have gone on to college this year. His first 2 years at HS were first away from S20 and seems to have given him some independence, which of course I love to see. Nevertheless, as I’m sure you share, we’re tremendously anxious about his going on to this next step.
So I see such an excellent success example as your DD18 and am just curious on how much she, too, relied on siblings for stability and whether that is a factor in your college search. I’m really sorry if this comes off as too personal for such a public forum but wish you and yours the best in this monumental process.
Btw, I am keenly aware (as aware as you can be without ever having experienced something personally) of the crash and burn rate for Aspies in college. I’ve told my husband that our greatest challenge is not getting our daughter into college, but helping her stay there. To that end, we are trying not to focus on selectivity but on “fit,” and finding a place where she feels as comfortable as possible. She has the intellectual capability to thrive anywhere, but emotionally, that’s a different story. She does NOT want to stay at home though, and I think feels emboldened by her very successful three week field study dig this past summer where she bonded wonderfully with her (fellow quirky) roommates and had a great time.
However, some schools like Macalester and Grinnell are appealing to me because we have family not too far away (and in Mac’s case, very very close. And this is family who also deal with Aspergers, so know the deal. Actually, same with the Iowa family for Grinnell - they are familiar with it).
I am also open to any suggestions of resources to have in place for Aspie students. We just had her neurospych testing updated, so any suggestions for support or accommodations would be most appreciated.
I think she would love Uni of Rochester. Super intelligent kids, definitely not a huge party scene, though there is some Greek life, but not a lot. Plenty of quirky, nerdy kids. Not overtly political. Rochester is aRU, but it’s on the small side with about 6000 undegrads. She can study anything she likes there. And it is not intense or cutthroat, which I think CMU may be. She would certainly be offered huge merit aid if accepted.
I alos think Bates is a good choice. D attends, she and her frriends are not into partying and there is definitely a collaborative environement.
Since you said your D is a talented artist, she may want to submit an arts supplement (even though it will remain a hobby) or do the “Your Space” supplement for Vassar. My D is headed to Vassar in one week for her freshman year and I think her arts supplements may have helped with her admissions. You never know!
Make sure you are appropriately adjusting “size” to account for things like a law school (often on a completely different campus), a med school (almost zero integration with the undergrad programs), etc. A lot of “big” colleges are a lot smaller when you are comparing undergrad to undergrad.