College Out of State - What was the hardest thing about your child's transition?

<p>There are two kinds of out-of-state school situations.</p>

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<li><p>The student attends a state institution in another state.</p></li>
<li><p>The student attends a private college that draws its student body from a multistate (maybe national or international) area.</p></li>
</ol>

<h1>1 is harder because most of the students are from within the state, and there tend to be friend groups already formed. If that’s the kind of situation you’re talking about, anything you can do to help out-of-staters make friends would be helpful.</h1>

<p>Another issue (for both 1 and 2): There is usually at least one time during the year (the start of Winter Break) when the dorms close and there is a potential for bad weather in some parts of the country. It would be helpful to out-of-state families if you could provide advice on what students should do if a snowstorm either in the campus community or in their home community prevents them from traveling home on time. Will the college be able to provide them with food and a place to sleep after the dorms officially close? If not, is there a list of motels in the community that are willing to rent to students, including those who are under 21 or under 18? Or are there volunteers in the community who can provide these kids with a place to stay? What other advice can the college provide for students who are trapped under such circumstances? I think that colleges need to do this even if they are in areas that are never impacted by snow. It doesn’t matter that you’re in Florida if some of your students are from Massachusetts and Massachusetts has a blizzard on the day the dorms close.</p>

<p>Personal note: One of my kids attended an out-of-state school (situation #2). There were no significant problems, but I worried each year about the possibility of a snowstorm at the start of Winter Break and couldn’t wait for her to move off-campus, where it wouldn’t matter.</p>

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Yes. D1 was very sick twice. Each time we had to bring her back because she had no one to get food or fluid to her. She literally couldn’t get out of the bed because she was so sick. Her friends were very nice, but they all had classes and activities. She wasn’t sick enough to go to the hospital. I think it would be nice if school has an infirmary where sick kid could got for few days when they were too weak to take care of themselves.</p>

<p>I just saw on DD’s college-to-be website that they have an option for sick kids where the sick kid can give a roommate their dining card and they will send food with that roommate. You can also call in and order a boxed lunch if you are on the fly and don’t have time to stop and eat a meal. That is a really nice option! </p>

<p>Oldfort-my roommate junior and senior year was a nursing major. When I got horribly ill one time, she took pretty dang good care of me :D. Good tip for kids that are prone to being ill–room with a nursing major!</p>

<p>S1 at OSS 3 plane rides away…loved the week long wilderness orientation. S1 made a good friend from Virginia that is still a friend today. Dorms stayed open over Thanksgiving and Spring Break which is a good idea as many kids do not travel home for the short holidays. No food, but kids can always buy food that week. Negatives, zero shuttles to and from the local/regional airports was a problem and worse in the winter. Once during the four years he had exams on the last day and the dorms closed that night so he had to sleep on a friend’s couch before catching a bus to get to the airport. S1 never had any trouble with physician’s or hospitals…it was a small town so that went smoothly and we never needed to get out there for anything, including a surgery, in fact a nurse drove him home when he was released after surgery because it was “on her way home.” So my experiences are like many here: orientation, transportation, healthcare and dorm closing schedule were the main areas that were positives and negatives. S2 is also far away, the orientation was also wilderness based and he did make friends that “stuck”, his town has a better system for getting to and from airports, dorms closing right after exams is still a problem and he hasn’t needed the healthcare system so can’t comment on that.</p>

<p>Basically if your kids are pretty self sufficient and social they should be fine. If they are kids that like to have everything smoothed out for them or don’t make friends easily it could be more challenging because the far-away kids often don’t head for home over long holidays, often need a place to crash if dorms close right after exams and the plane flights don’t work out, and might be lonelier over holiday weekends, breaks, etc. Usually this is all mostly a “freshman” issue as many kids move off campus sophomore year and most kids have found close friends by the second semester freshman year.</p>

<p>I’ve got a junior S halfway across the country at college. Many of my suggestions are repeats that have already been mentioned upthread.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Summer storage - offer services that make it easy for OOS students to store their belongings on campus. It is a real hassle to take things to a private storage facility without a car.</p></li>
<li><p>Provide transportation services to/from local airports at holiday breaks, e.g. charter buses every few hours for a few days.</p></li>
<li><p>Don’t close dorms/cafeterias during short breaks. My S has sometimes had to stay on campus or return early because of an EC. His University allows students to use their dorm room if requested in advance, which we appreciate, but there is no food service, which is not. </p></li>
<li><p>Provide a lot of on-campus events during the first month or two of the semester, to discourage local kids from going home for the weekends and providing OOS students opportunities to make friends.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>sacchi–I think your #4 is KEY for getting out of state kids to come. If there are only a handful of kids in the dorm each weekend, it gets pretty quiet. Our oldest found that his freshman year–EVERYONE went home. He was the only in-state kid that did not and there were about 5 other kids from out of state that stayed. He did not return to that school after freshman year because of that. I’ve learned that as we have gone on tours to check the boards around campus to see how much is going on through the weekends.</p>

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<p>Depends on the school, though. At a public university like Michigan where 35% of the student body is OOS–and more like 40% in some recent classes–there’s a huge critical mass of students who aren’t from in-state. I don’t think it’s particularly difficult for OOS students to make friends in that environment. Not so very different from a school like USC–a private school where 60% of the freshmen in 2010 were Californians, the bulk of them southern Californians.</p>

<p>Some publics are even more heavily OOS. Only 25% of the incoming freshmen at the University of Vermont in 2010 were Vermonters. That’s less than the percentage of New Yorkers at Cornell (35.5%) or Hamilton (31.5%) and pretty similar to the percentage of Massachusetts residents at Brandeis (23.7%), Smith (21.6%), or Tufts (21.5%).</p>

<p>I just don’t think it’s a public v. private thing; it depends on the school.</p>

<p>OOS is not so bad when you look at it from the perspective of an int’l student/family.</p>

<p>Count your blessings that you are only dealing with 1 country, 1 currency, 1 cellphone network, and 1 change of plane at most.</p>

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<p>I went to the same college as your daughters. In my time (the 1970s), there was an infirmary. It has gone the way of the dinosaurs.</p>

<p>“DD came from CA to MA, and had zero trouble adjusting.”</p>

<p>DD was CT to LA … and had zero trouble adjusting also. Much of this was due to attitude. New England has been in the import-export business for centuries. Nowadays it’s knowledge that’s traded. Going OOS was no more of an issue than sending sons to sea in the 1800’s.</p>

<p>If you’re asking what was “different” … besides maintaining a proper attitude that is … I’d say it was summer storage for dorm contents. I do agree with Marian that OOS private is different from OOS public.</p>

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<p>Student here. The most difficult thing was probably looking into the past with regrets. Once you’re this far away, sometimes I regretted things in the past that I’ve done since I realize different things. Also, there’s the “buyers’ remorse” feeling, that you wish you chose a different school closer to home since you then suddenly realize how difficult everything is. Stress from school (especially freshman year since the whole transition makes getting good grades pretty difficult too) adds to feeling down, but the bad part is that you can’t just be around your family for comfort, you know. </p>

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<p>They could’ve done a lot more. there were quite a few NSO events (NSO was right after move-in and before classes) but, idk really, not a lot of schools offer much. They just have like, events and counseling services. RA’s / GA’s aren’t usually there, at least I barely see the GA’s</p>

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<p>Not really, maybe a lot of events or I’m missing some thing, but I am not sure what they could do.</p>

<p>Having events to help OOS students learn about the community and the recreation possibilities there might be helpful. Other than that, I think many of the challenges associated with the transition to college apply to both in-state and out-of-state students. Colleges can help by offering a) settings for students to meet new friends and b) good advising.

I don’t agree with that. Most states have multiple colleges, and I think most schools will have a number of people looking to shake up their social groups.</p>

<p>One advantage to a school with mostly local students is that out-of-staters are more likely to build connections to people from the area, which can help a lot with some of the logistical stuff (storage, rides, etc.) mentioned in this thread.</p>

<p>@noimagination—I really agree with your assessment that OOS students at a school with mostly local students can build connections with kids from the area. My D is 700 miles away at a State School where she made a lovely set of friendships with a few local girls who have really helped her this term. It’s her first year and as an Architecture student she has v-e-r-y little free time for socializing. Her friends both have cars and have been very gracious in taking my daughter into town. We’ll be looking into the whole storage thing and it’s helpful to have people in the know!</p>

<p>Also, it would be VERY helpful to parents if the schools put up dates in advance not only when dorms close but when they REOPEN! I bought my kid’s XMAS and Thanksgiving tix already and I’ve got her coming back one day early after Thanksgiving break! For me to change the ticket now it would go from a little over $300 to $895! Who would have thought that the dorms wouldn’t be open the Saturday b/4 school resumes—hers open Sunday at 2 pm! It looks like an expensive hotel room if we can’t get accommodations at the school.</p>

<p>bungalowdweller - I think your college is probably in the minority regarding not posting the campus calendar. I also think it’s the norm for colleges to open the Sunday after Thanksgiving break. My son messed up by not making his arrangements early enough and now has to come back on that Saturday instead of Sunday. He’s contacted res life to see if they will allow him in the dorm a day early, but I doubt it. He’ll probably have to stay with a local friend. For a dorm to be open they have to have RA’s and other support staff there. That doesn’t seem quite fair for them.</p>

<p>Back on topic - Some colleges do do the First Year Experience right. My older son’s college did a great job of that. Their orientation consists of a service project for all freshman - they build a habitat for humanity house. They also require mixer things throughout the first year, more service projects and small group writing classes. All freshman also read the same book before college starts. I found this site that might help [NRC</a> Pubs Store. The First-Year Seminar: Designing, Implementing, and Assessing Courses to Support Student Learning and Success](<a href=“http://www.nrcpubs.com/p/70/the-first-year-seminar-designing-implementing-and-assessing-courses-to-support-student-learning-and-success]NRC”>http://www.nrcpubs.com/p/70/the-first-year-seminar-designing-implementing-and-assessing-courses-to-support-student-learning-and-success)</p>

<p>^kathiep that sounds cool, I would’ve loved to build a HFH house. Anyways, the same thing with booking a flight came with me. I have to come back the Saturday because tickets were just gone for Sunday and monday, and this was like about a month ago too.</p>

<p>My daughter made an interesting comment during her freshman year - she said that the kids were the MOST homesick were the kids that lived the CLOSEST! She said that she felt that we all spent the summer “cutting the strings” and making decisions that increased her independence as well as provided connection (e.g. I got an Iphone so we could do facetime). </p>

<p>i could see the local with an OOS backfiring when the local goes home every weekend. DD’s school has some lovely teachers and admins who host Thanksgiving at their house every year for any students who want to come (school is 70K - hope they don’t ALL come). LOVE the group shuttle idea as well as the proactive encouragement of students to look around at their friends and roommates - is there a kid that needs a place to go? that said, I remember one year lying to my parents and putting a piece of paper in the door so that I could stay in the dorm during Thanksgiving. I simply was overwhelmed with work, and knew that a quiet dorm was the best place.</p>

<p>bungalowdweller–I agree, no school I know of opens dorms the Saturday of a break. Most schools also have an option for kids to stay on campus during those breaks. Have her check with the housing department to see what their policy is on that. I found on the website for the school DD will be attending next year, dorm hours for next year already. They also have housing available for $15/night for kids that can’t go home on breaks. I have yet to see a school that doesn’t’ have a calendar somewhere for open dorm hours. You might not be able to access that calendar but your child should.</p>

<p>shoot4moon–looking back at when I was in college I would say that I saw the same thing. I think partly because they were so close that they never really had to “leave home” but also because they chose to go to school so close signaled that they were not quite ready to leave home. Obviously that isn’t the case for everyone but a lot of local kids were that way. One girl in my dorm ran up a $400 phone bill calling home every night crying (long before cell phones). She lived 30 miles from campus but her parents wouldn’t let her come home–which was probably a good thing.</p>

<p>A lot of great suggestions here. I really endorse the idea of starting classes the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. Those flights are $$$$.</p>

<p>Here’s something else that I don’t think was mentioned yet – </p>

<p>My DS is a HS senior and we will be flying to visit a college in a couple of weeks. They will match him up with a student ambassador for lunch so he can ask questions. One thing they try to do is match you with a student from your home town area, which I think is a great idea if you think that the distance from home is going to be an issue. Then you can hear what it’s really like. Something to consider for OOS recruiting.</p>

<p>I do think that if the OP is from a college that is assessing what it can do for OOS students it is important to consider the school type. If a school has a large number of students who are from the nearby area, but the campus stays full on weekends then it will be easier for OOS students to adjust. However, if the campus empties out on weekends then I think the school needs to figure out why students are not sticking around. That can be a big part of whether OOS students are happy.</p>

<p>3 of my kids have gone out of state–two private, one public. The public college had summer orientation–several sessions. It was extremely well-done, IMO. They also offered 2 different sessions (choose one) of “camp” experiences for a “social orientation.” My kid did not attend–the camp itself didn’t cost much, but the additional travel expenses–after attending a summer orientation–were a disincentive. </p>

<p>I prefer it when freshman orientation is held right before school starts–just have freshman arrive a few days earlier than upperclassmen. Saves on transportation expenses.</p>

<p>What could be done better? At the large public u., which has mostly in-state students and a lot of commuters–I was surprised how LITTLE was done in the freshman dorms at the beginning of the school year. Just one hallway “meeting/social activity” the day before school started? (which my kid missed due to an academic meeting/review held at the same time.) RA didn’t seem to make an effort to meet students, talk to them individually. (Not at all what I remember from my college days at a big public u.–the first month+ was filled with ice-breakers,etc. RA always came around the first semester to chat, see how we were doing, ask if we had any questions, etc.)
When freshman dorms are co-ed, I think it is a good idea to have a MALE and FEMALE RA assigned to each group of students (even if it is a larger group.) When the only RA is the opposite sex, it could be awkward to approach that person depending on what kind of question/problem a student has. </p>

<p>I wish colleges helped facilitate airport shuttles/rides for beginning/end of school year and Xmas break. Sometimes students organize something, but it is hit or miss. It would be nice if the college provided information and helped students get together/save $ on this. By the time students have figured it out, they are graduating and another crop of clueless freshmen comes in. There must be an experienced staff member who has observed this chaos year after year and knows a way to bring order to it. (Remember riders’ boards? LOL)</p>

<p>Providing food/minimal dining service during short breaks for those who can’t afford to go home would be nice. (S once spent a Thanksgiving in his dorm with no food. Other times professors invited him over for dinner. )<br>
Stop kicking kids out of dorms/apartments immediately after finals! Please, make it the next day–at least for the long-distance travelers. Kids are already exhausted from finals–how can they drive home that same day, or pay for a hotel if their flight is the next morning?</p>