<p>Marian forces me to speak up, so she doesn't feel so alone. My son did a couple of overnights. He didn't find them very useful compared to private visits with professors (very easy to arrange), sitting in on classes, and attending accepted student events, where he spoke with a lot of other prospective students.</p>
<p>Interestingly, the school my son attends seems to have eliminated overnight visits as of this year. I gather the damage done by a "bad" visit exceeded the good done by a useful visit. Rumor has it that it was the less serious--albeit enthusiastic--students who volunteered to host the visits. This is a highly ranked school that I believe is trying to tone down the party school aspect of its reputation. My son did not do an overnight stay at this campus. Maybe that was a good thing!</p>
<p>midmo- the information you just provided helps a lot. Day visits may be a lot easier to work out. 3 schools are within driving distance of each other and if day visits, attending classes and meeting professors give enough information that would simplfy things.</p>
<p>The only reason we insisted that our daughter spend a night at two schools was that they were on the opposite coast. We wanted her to at least have a feel for these schools considering that going there was a HUGE distance from home with little to no opportunities to leave for a weekend to visit us. And in her case, it DID make a difference because on one of her overnights, she found the school to be less than friendly, but the other was just what she expected (she actually expected the friendliness and openess at both schools and was disappointed about the school where this was not the case for her). IF my daughter had resisted the idea of spending a night at a school 3000 miles from home, my husband and I would have had a serious discussion with her about matriculating at a school 3000 miles from home. I know that many students do not DO overnights at schools far away and are fine, but that was OUR family decision.</p>
<p>I'm really glad my son was able to do overnights at 6 of his 10 choices. He had a break at the end of April and we took him out of school for an additional week. Two of the schools on the west coast he hadn't seen while in session. Those overnight visits were especially clarifying for him. I think he'd have been fine at any of the 10, but I do believe the overnights helped him fine-tune his choice.</p>
<p>tom1944, when my son visited with professors, he had specific topics in mind. He also visited with undergraduate program directors, and he spoke with them about the same issues: how available is hands-on research for undergraduates, when can they start the research, will he be given enough credit for AP and university courses already taken that he can get into upper level classes quickly...</p>
<p>As you can see, he has strong academic interests. He is also extremely adaptable, socially, so he was somewhat less concerned than many about the personal "feel" of the campus. Nonetheless, he did spend a good deal of time talking with other students, and that was an important part of his assessment. He wanted to know that there were some other students like himself; he didn't need to find a place where all other students are like himself.</p>
<p>I probably don't need to emphasize that you should set up appointments to speak with profs and program directors ahead of time. Also, you can ask if they have an undergraduate who would take a prospective student to lunch. </p>
<p>For the record, I accompanied S on some of these visits just to see the campus myself. He was entirely on his own once we were there.</p>
<p>Another vote FOR overnights, as long as your child is amenable. Our approach with both kids was not to handle it through the school, but to contact each school's Hillel director (any other affinity group for your child, I believe, would work equally well) and ask them to find a freshman willing to host. With one glaring exception, the experience both kids had at a total of 7 different schools was very positive.</p>
<p>Hey Marion - I am a little ambivalent about overnights as well. </p>
<p>We waited until April for DD to stay at schools and they were all part of accepted student days. That helped because activities were planned and did not rely solely on the student who was hosting.</p>
<p>One of things we did not want was for her to be in a situation with drinking that would be okay once she was in college - but not back at her high school. We thought partying would be at a minimum during college promoted visits.</p>
<p>That said - it helped being on campus for a couple of days and helped her get a sense of what the student body was like. </p>
<p>Overall, the longer you feel you can afford to wait, I think the better. I would also space them out a bit if possible.</p>
<p>I don't think they should be forced, but if someone is interested in a college but really resisting any overnights- I would be a little concerned.</p>
<p>I also realize that visits are often difficult, but I think they are important.</p>
<p>However, D is applying to schools that she hasn't visited, we will look at which ones to visit after she hears of acceptances</p>
<p>E4 - that brings up another point. DD did not do an overnight until after she was accepted. Some of her schools were reaches so there was no sense in bonding with students only to find out she hadn't been accepted. We were probably overly protective - but it worked for us.</p>
<p>I really encouraged my son not to fall in love until he was accepted. Until April first, he listed his schools in alphabetical order. In fact, it was almost May first until he had sorted it out, but he certainly got into his dream school.</p>
<p>My son only did overnights as part of accepted students weekends. I think he had more fun at the Carnegie Mellon one ( it was a Sunday night and he stayed with three theater guys played video games with them - one comp sci major did homework till 3 am - so he got fair warning!) than the Harvard one (freshman single philosophy major who didn't do much beyond providing space on the floor, but he managed to have a good time at Harvard, spending most of the time playing board games and watching sci fi movies with one of the clubs. Still it was the charismatic characters at CMU and the depth of the computer program that ended up selling him on the place. (And I have to say from what I saw - CMU seemed friendlier and more outgoing.) He also went to two accepted student days that were just daytime affairs. RPI's for some reason schedules their's on a day when there are no classes to visit, so be warned! He saw four schools in about two weeks in April - two day trips, two weekend into Monday overnights.</p>
<p>I agree with the suggestion that overnighting at "dream" or reach college before a student is actually accepted there might do more "harm than good". Also strongly agree that if a student is accepted at and considering a college thousands of miles away from home, an overnight visit is on order, if only for them to understand just long it takes to travel back and forth, and the other consequences of being so far from home. It made a difference for our family- Son had never visited the Ivy he was accepted at until accepted students weekend [ we live in Calif], an Ivy which is also known to be very isolated. In the end, he just couldn't see himself there, with no car, at a college where drinking and partying seemed to be the weekend activity of choice for most students.</p>
<p>i decided to do an overnight at bucknell last fall when i saw the option was available. it was my #2 or 3 at the time, but i figured why not. it was definitely the best decision i made in the whole college search process. i had a great host who introduced me to people and showed me around, and everyone there just loved being there and wanted to sell their school. lehigh, which was my first choice then, told me that i could not stay overnight there when i asked.</p>
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I don't think they should be forced, but if someone is interested in a college but really resisting any overnights- I would be a little concerned.
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<p>It depends on the kid, emeraldkity.</p>
<p>My daughter had no interest in doing any overnights. The one time she stayed overnight in a college community (at an accepted students' event), she slept in a motel.</p>
<p>This didn't surprise me or worry me at all. She's an introvert. For her, being in the constant presence of others -- especially people whom she does not know -- is a strain. All she would have learned from an overnight is something she already knows -- that she isn't the sort of person who would enjoy a sleepover with strangers. </p>
<p>She's halfway through her freshman year of college now, and she's fine. She can't wait to get back there after Winter Break. She has friends on campus and plenty to do, but she can get away from people for a while when she wants to (quite easily, in fact, because she lives in a single). </p>
<p>Her closest friend at college, a much more gregarious person, sometimes hosts prefreshmen for overnights. My daughter often joins the host and guest for dinner, which is probably helpful for the visitors since my daughter and her friend are in different academic units at the university and participate in different extracurricular activities. But my daughter wouldn't want to host a student overnight anymore than she would have wanted to participate in one a year ago.</p>
<p>I agree with menloparkmom that an overnight visit to the campus and its surrounding community is definitely in order if the student is considering going to a faraway college, so that the student will get a realistic idea of the transportation challenges. But I think that such a trip could be just as valuable if the night was spent in a Ramada Inn as on a stranger's dorm room floor.</p>
<p>I don't think they should be forced, but if someone is interested in a college but really resisting any overnights- I would be a little concerned.</p>
<p>It depends on the kid, emeraldkity.</p>
<p>I agree. thats why I said I would be a * little* concerned not * very * concerned.
But if you have a kid who is extremely introverted, you are probably already a little concerned - but are dealing with it by the time they get to be a senior.</p>
<p>I think that in some ways the overnights were good for my introverted son. It gave him more time to suss out the college. He could observe without being force to be quick about asking questions. He saw more of the campus and a great variety of kids. He was also much more interested in doing them once he was down to the wire and had to make a decision.</p>