College overnights

<p>Any advise on the number of overnight visits is reasonable between February and April. My D has 5 acceptances with a sixth possible. She is working to rank the schools and we both figure she will try to have overnight stays at the top 3. She is concerned that without visiting the others she may be not getting a true feeling about the school.</p>

<p>I haven't been there yet but what I would assume is that it is all up to what your time and budget limits will bear. I'm thinking that if there is a close tie between 2 or three schools at the top of her list then she should definately do the overnights to break the tie. if all 5 or six schools re that close to her heart I don't see a problem with staying over at all three.</p>

<p>Another thing to explore is the relative deciseiveness of your D. Many adults are parlyzed by an inability to make a decision without gathering "just one more fact" If your D looks like she may be heading down that path, maybe visiting her top 3 is a better route to take.</p>

<p>Last year my S had 5 schools, all at which he had been accepted. He did overnights at his top 2 choices and it really helped kernalize his decision between the two.</p>

<p>I am not a believer in college overnights.</p>

<p>The problem is that the visitor spends the night with the kind of student who is inclined to host a stranger in his or her dorm room overnight. These people are, by definition, not representative of the entire student population. (Most students do not host overnights.) In particular, host students tend to be more social than average -- which may either please or horrify the visiting student (depending on personality), but in either case may give the visitor an unrepresentative view of life at the college in question.</p>

<p>I disagree with Marian. When my S did his campus sleepovers 3 years ago, both hosts just dumped him w/freshman, as they were both upperclassmen for the evening. He took advantage and roamed the frosh dorms and met students on his own. Quite honestly, it worked well for him. I admit a bad host can lead to a bad visit, but S took advantage of the bad host and made the most of his time on campus. </p>

<p>AND the sleepover really sealed the deal for my S. He knew he could not live at one of the campuses due to the nature of the students and their activities in the dorms, but could honestly see himself at the other school. It has worked out well for him.</p>

<p>I think campus overnights are very important in making the final decision. That said, try to schedule them to those schools your D ranks highest. It can be deal breaker, so wouldn't you rather know now than next fall?</p>

<p>Agree with The Mom. A 24-36 hour period of time can give a perceptive kid a pretty good sense of the campus unless it's a gigantic university. The kids "know" that their host most likely won't be their new best friend and believe me the kids are looking hard at everything when they go on an overnight. They are mentally deciding if they could "find friends", which dorm might they want to be in, how the food is and could they eat it 24/7 for the next four years, what's the attitude about drinking/drugs, etc. They are sitting in on class or two and getting a sense of the intellectual atmosphere. They may not say anything to the parents, but believe me, that's what they are doing. Internalizing. There are those rare people who are happy wherever they land, but mine never have been. I have the strongly opinioned type LOL. My oldest, at age 4, came down the stairs and announced "I'm not the type of kid that wears that type of shirt" after I'd laid out one of those darling printed turtlenecks for him. Plus if the school is far away, send them off. They are the ones that are going to have to get there and back over the holidays and navigate the transportation schlep without any handholding. That in itself is a "decision worthy experience".</p>

<p>I also disagree with Marian. We REQUIRED our daughter to go on two overnights because the schools were on the opposite coast from where we lived. At one school (where she is now attending), she was hosted by a fabulous girl who did a nice job of introducing her to a lot of other students on the floor. She found activities to do in the evenings, and generally was a wonderful hostess, but not "in your face". At the second school, her hostess was awful and basically abandoned DD and another student to find their own way to dinner, and to find something to do in the evening (which the two prospective students found very challenging). Surprisingly to my daughter, no one else in the dorm pitched in. She thought the place was mighty unfriendly. DD is now a student who hosts others for overnights. Yes, she is eager to "sell" her school, but she also involves others so the student can get a better picture of the school as a whole. AND my kid always has a variety of evening activities and even dinner spots from which to choose.</p>

<p>DS, on the other hand, didn't do any overnights but he spent a VERY long (9 am to 11pm) day at his first choice school which included time with the adcom in his department, classes, ensemble rehearsal, time with the private teacher, an ensemble performance and a jury class.</p>

<p>I'd say 3 is a reasonable number. Now if after the ovenites she is having second thoughts about them all(unlikely) maybe a few more would be advisable.</p>

<p>BTW, if she happens to have hs friends at any of them, staying with them might be a good idea. Our son did this at one college and had a great weekend.</p>

<p>Overnights are great, especially if you take advantage of them and not spend all your time with your host in her room. Talk to the other kids in the dorm, visit classes that you are interested in (and not just the ones that your host attends - you might be completely different in terms of major!) and try to come with a list of things you want to see on campus or learn more about. </p>

<p>I host overnights at my college, and I recently had one that I felt went poorly. My prospective student wanted to visit my classes and not the ones in areas she was thinking of as majors and she didn't have questions for anyone (even me!). I had a hard time thinking of things that we could do together because she didn't have any requests ("can we go downtown?", "can we spend time in the student center?", "can I see the gym?", etc) when I had cleared the space in my schedule and done all my homework in advance to help her maximize her visit.</p>

<p>I did one overnight, hated it, and went to the school anyway (where I'm very happy). I don't think overnight visits give much helpful information. Students during one visit may be in the middle of midterms or finals, may have been hosting prospective students all week and be tired of it, may be tired from a 3 AM fire drill the night before, or whatever else. Someone could end up with a host who didn't even sign up to be a host if there are a lot of students visiting at once. At my college, there are big personality differences from dorm to dorm. There are dorms known for socializing and partying and dorms known for students who play video games or study on weekend nights. A student's experience could vary drastically depending on where they get thrown. Overnights rarely give a very good picture of what life at that college actually is like, and they never give a complete picture. I am of the crowd who believes that most students can be happy at any number of schools. I'm all for sitting in on a couple classes, eating in the dining hall, and talking to current students. That's not a complete picture, either, but students usually know it's not. Students who have bad overnights likely feel that they'd have a bad experience at the school, and that's simply not the case. </p>

<p>If it helps narrow the field, then great, but it's a pretty arbitrary way of doing it. A pro/con list is cheaper and can narrow it down just as easily.</p>

<p>Staying with a friend at the college is a different experience, I think, and may be worth doing.</p>

<p>Thanks everyone.
borgin- is there certain times to avoid visits- obviously spring break week but how about the week before or week after spring break. Also exam weeks etc.</p>

<p>My D HS break is April 21-25 is that to close to the May 1 deadline- should we just schedule visits and have her miss classes?</p>

<p>She shouldn't miss many classes before those AP tests in early May. AP scores often give college credit or placement.</p>

<p>Tom, you may want to contact the colleges directly about overnights. Many have very specific guidelines about these (who can attend, when they can take place, etc). At my daughter's school NO overnights are allowed during the exam periods, and I believe they are not allowed the first or last week of each quarter either. Also, some schools only allow accepted students to visit during a specific period of time, some have accepted student overnight "events" that they encourage folks to attend, and some don't allow overnights at all (unless your child has a friend to visit).</p>

<p>My D found the overnight visit INVALUABLE! She basically followed her host to every meal and class for 24 hours. It enabled her to really picture herself at the school.</p>

<p>As to the OP, I assume you have done daytime campus visits? We found those helpful. As for timing, I would do them as soon as possible. It's a great feeling when the decision is finalized.</p>

<p>I don't think there's a specific week to avoid - at my school, midterms are spread out over the course of the semester and the bad weeks differ from student to student, but we can choose in advance when we host so we can avoid the day before an exam or only host on a night when we don't have extracurricular activities, etc.</p>

<p>We also don't host during breaks (because many students aren't even on campus, and there's no meals offered during those weeks, as well as no classes). If you call the colleges directly, I'm sure they'd tell you if a day was not available. We also only host Monday through Thursday evenings, but this might be different at other schools.</p>

<p>My high school allowed juniors and seniors a certain number of college visit days each year - two or three. I used these to do overnights, so while I did miss a day of school, it didn't count as a missed day (though I still had homework and tests to make up).</p>

<p>My D only did one overnight as there was only one school that hosted students. However it was her reach & 1st choice school.
She stayed with the HA- & although it was right before midterms or something, so she was pretty much on her own.
We arrived there at night- in nasty weather- I made sure she was checked in but then went to my hotel.
Even though she is not a gregarious person, she managed to talk to several people and got a good idea if she could see herself on campus ( actually wasn't her first choice school until the visit- but she tried not to dwell on it because of the academic & economic reach status)</p>

<p>This is quite a small college however- a larger school may vary more depending on what part of campus you are staying- still I think you should be able to get alot of information that you wouldn't otherwise have.</p>

<p>Well, I see that my negative opinion about overnights is very much in the minority here.</p>

<p>I will defer to the majority, but I would still caution against REQUIRING your son or daughter to do overnights if the student resists the idea. Particularly for people with introverted personalities, an overnight can be a very unpleasant experience. Yet such kids often are fine when they actually go to college.</p>

<p>Marian- I do not think REQUIRING should be part of the college application process when it comes to where to apply, where to overnight or where to attend. I can see a little persuasion when it comes to visiting schools however.
I think this whole thing becomes a little potluck both in terms of will they get in, get enough money or is it the right fit.</p>

<p>My D is very introverted. However, she was the only prospective freshman overnighting in that dorm and the current students were very welcoming and initiated conversations with her. She was somewhate of a novelty, so to speak. It was an Honors dorm... and not to start a new debate, but I think there are a lot of shy honors kids.</p>

<p>To help my D get to know people when school started, I urged her to sign up to be a move-in helper. They arrived 3 days early and had lots of fun activities along with their training. It was very good for her. She understands that she is not an outgoing person. [Interestingly, though, she loves to sing and dance on stage with musical theater!]</p>

<p>I'm all for visiting, just not for forcing kids into overnights.</p>