@moooop, a good way to test your theories is to talk to interracial couples. You’ll find plenty who can speak to the unequal treatment they receive when doing the same things and dressed in the same way.
My husband’s college roommate is Pakistani-American as is his wife. All of us have the same level of education, have kids of the same age and dress in the same way. In 2001 my husband and his Pakistani friend worked in the same industry and we all travelled quite a bit. In the wake of the 9/11 attacks our friend, traveling alone or with his family, was frequently the subject of “random” searches. My husband and I were never “randomly” searched once. You can’t even chalk it up to Islamophobia because he’s Christian and has a Christian name.
I live in a wealthy, overwhelmingly white community. It’s a very liberal town so I would be shocked to see overt racism, but that doesn’t mean minority residents and visitors don’t have experiences different from that of majority white residents. Good friends of mine, an interracial couple, lived here for a few years. They said that when they walked around together or she walked through town alone stopping to check out their new community they were pretty much left alone, but when he walked through town without his wife doing the same stopping and looking he was often asked if he needed help with directions. Someone might say that people were being more friendly and helpful to him, but there was a darker subtext at work here-the message that while she belonged and could find her way around without help he must not be from the community. No one was unfriendly but they were still unintentionally sending the message that he was an outsider.
I agree that sometimes people mistake plain old rudeness for racism, but half the point is that those of us who are white and of European descent don’t often have to wonder if the unequal treatment we’re getting is because of our race, do we?